PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS A GRAMMAR FREE ZONE!

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round - Except in Suburbia

Wow!  I can't believe that January is half over and I have only blogged on here twice this month!  Having bronchitis didn't help but honestly, there hasn't been that much happening that I've felt the need to share.  I went through a bit where I didn't want to just air out my frustrations on here but when I decided not to do that I realized I didn't have much else to say.  Oh well.  I guess its back to venting my frustrations.  Today, I shall tackle the Suburbia school district.  See, their tax levy didn't pass back in November.  Their solution to saving money has been to eliminate all bus service for the high school and require all students within a two mile radius of the school to walk to the middle school.  There are plenty of other misappropriated funds that they could move around in my opinion but nobody asked me and this is what they decided upon.  Nice huh?  So now every day, I have to get up, get dressed (who am I kidding, I go in my jammies), and take the child to school.  Then in the afternoon, I have to go pick her up.  Life will continue every stinkin' day like this until she graduates in June!  That is a long way off and a heck of a lot of dropping off and picking up.  It wouldn't be that bad if she wasn't one of approximately 2,800 students getting dropped off.  This has created quite the traffic hassle.  I have to go at like 2:30 p.m. to get in place to pick her up at 3:05 p.m.  Nothing like wasting a half an hour.  But not tomorrow!  No.  Tomorrow is "Wisdom Tooth Day" mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Yes, tomorrow our daughter is getting her wisdom teeth out.  I really don't know what to expect.  My two wisdom teeth came in and then I had one removed.  Still  have the other one.  Hubby had his out as an adult.  I remember him eating lots of mashed potatoes and jello but I think I have blocked out all the bad stuff.  I am nervous by proxy for tomorrow.  I saw a piece one time on Dateline or something where this guy had his wisdom teeth out and he lost basically all of his mental capacity.  I know, I know.  That's a once in a lifetime story and I shouldn't be afraid of that actually happening but I'm a mom and that's what I do.  So tonight, we will take our non-bus-riding daughter out to eat super crunchy food for dinner and swing by the grocery to load up on jello, mashed potatoes, soup, mac & cheese, and anything else that doesn't require much chewing.  Hey, at least she'll be off school for a few days so I won't have to deal with driving her.  See, there's always a silver lining.

Monday, January 9, 2012

"We are Orange & Blue and God Loves Tebow More Than You!"

I am probably about to piss off a large portion of readers but I just have to say it.  I hate Tebowmania!  Like the guy.  Think he's a great football player.  Am sickened by the bandwagon that is praising him for his praising the Lord.  Calling an NFL win a miracle is an insult.  They didn't win because he prayed for them to win.  They won because the overtime rules were not sufficiently changed to minimize a single posession win.  Simple enough.  There was no miracle.  They won the coin toss.  They had first chance.  They won the game.  End of story.  I did not see the hand of God come down and complete the pass.  I'm sure there were players on both teams who were silently praying up a storm for the win but do you really think God has time to manipulate the outcome of a football game.  Forget the wars and famines, we got a game here boys. Why would he choose to listen to Tebow over say a child asking to be cured of cancer?  And it wasn't until after Denver won the game that I saw Tebow on one knee thanking God.  Tell me.  Would he have been down on one knee thanking God for the opportunity he had to play if his team hadn't won?  I can't but help think not.  While I think he is indeed grateful and thankful, I also think he exploits his spirituality in front of the cameras.  We never heard about the blatently praying quarterback when he was playing college football - at least I never did.  Did he not pray then or did the news media just not care about it then?  Either way, I hate to see spirituality used in that way.  If you want to pray, don't make a spectacle of yourself.  Its not a show. Its a personal relationship with God.  But then again, I'm not exactly the evangelical type.  Maybe I'll go to hell for speaking bad of Tebow.  I just hate seeing people praise a person instead of God and that seems to be what is happening.  Besides, I thought God was a Steeler fan?

Friday, January 6, 2012

All I Want for Christmas is a Detached Retina

Its the new year!  Yay!  I was going to talk about how this year will be "The Year of Change" for me but upon further consideration I have decided to go with this humorous Christmas happening in the hopes of prolonging everyone's Christmas spirit.  See, in keeping with the foreign tradition that we started when we lived overseas, we always leave one present in our daughter's room at the foot of her bed for Christmas morning.  So, it was Christmas morning, like super early, and I got out of bed to pee.  I noticed on the way to the bathroom that the gift, a pillow pet, that we placed in her room was missing so I assumed that she had gotten up at some point in the night, found it, and had taken it back to bed with her.  Anyway, I did my business and headed back to my bed but couldn't get back to sleep even though it was still dark and silent.  I had my eyes closed to rub some sleep out of them and when I opened them - FLASH!  "What the hell was that?"  Then I remembered hearing on some medical show at some point in time that if you got a detached retina, you would see bright white flashes prior to going blind.  "Ok.  Remain calm.  I'm sure it was a one off thing and you were just pressing on your eyes too hard."  FLASH!  "Oh shit!  It happened again!  Great!  Its Christmas and what do I get - a detached retina!  Wonderful!  I'll be blind for Christmas!  Just my luck!  Perfect timing!  Way to ruin Christmas for everyone!"  In a panic, I get up and head to the bathroom again - only this time I hear a small voice say "Merry Christmas."  It was my daughter in her room.  Come to find out she was taking flash pictures of her new pillow pet with her newly-rediscovered-after-being-lost-for-three-months camera.  The morals of the story - if you see white flashes, make sure nobody around you is taking pictures before rushing off to the emergency room AND pillow pets make great gifts for people of all ages.  Next year, pillow pets and eye check-ups for everyone on my gift list!