Sunday, July 29, 2012

Sam's Club, Celtic Tradition and Malfunctioning Pants

Yesterday I went to the celtic festival in Downtown and it was pretty fun.  At first I didn't want to go, my mind being all "there will be a million people there all out to get you by judging you to death."  But I stifled that internal voice and went anyway - after taking some wonderful calming drugs.  With the drugs I was all "I like their knots so why not."  Then I laughed for about five minutes because of my punny use of the word knot/not and because of those wonderful drugs.  So anyway, we went and walked around and I purchased a nice pair of earrings that I won't be able to wear for like 6 months because I just got my ears repierced and I'm a rule follower.  We were about to leave when I spotted the chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick booth.  I'm pretty sure a light shone down from heaven onto it while choirs of angels began to sing.  I indulged and now I know that the celtic people are out to make me fat.  I didn't enter the calories for it on my lose weight app.  In fact, I haven't entered anything since our mini-vacation to Hometown.  I also haven't ventured onto a scale since before that event.  There was way too much eating without thinking while we were on our mini-vaca so I abandoned my fat tracking for wanton eating.  Which is similar to wonton eating because both are delicious and not so good for your waistline.  But I think my waistline may be shrinking because my pants are loose and falling down.  I'm serious.  I feel like a teenage boy who thinks they are cool but not really because I believe in belts as opposed to showing the world my undies.  But I don't really believe that I am losing that much weight that my pants are loose and falling down.  I am convinced that this is a malfunction of said pants.  How pants go from fitting to magically malfunctioning is beyond me but mine are totally malfunctioning.  All of my pants.  How can I be expected to function like a normal person with malfunctioning pants.  I would go shopping for new pants but that would just be because I love shopping and find that it gives meaning to my life rather than actually buying new fitting pants that will no longer fit once I eat another chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick and one fourth of a half gallon of ice cream.  It was called Skinny Minty and is supposed to be low calorie ice cream but I doubt that means you are supposed to eat it in bulk straight out of the carton.  I have also been consuming large amounts of Combos as of late.  That is not my fault either.  It is the fault of Sam's Club.  Actually, it is the fault of my dad for taking me to Sam's Club but that totally cannot be true because my daddy can do no wrong.  He's my daddy.  I am such a daddy's girl.  Sometimes I think my mom gets upset that I call myself a daddy's girl but that's just the way it is.  Maybe my daddy can take me to Sam's Club for some new pants.  Ooooo and then we could get that yummy ice cream on the way out!  Sounds like a plan :) 
P.S.  I am surprised they let me into the Sam's Club but I will save that for my next post.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

"Meat" Me at the Steakhouse

I was once a vegetarian.  I was for many, many years.  I was the girl at the family reunion that was stuck eating sauerkraut on a bun because the hot dogs and the fried chicken grossed her out.  Even though now I am not a vegetarian, I think I am still quite sensitive to the subject.  See, I want to know what great interior designer thought "Hmmmm . . . steakhouse . . . let's put the animals they are serving up on the wall."  I know that some people . . . mostly hunters would be my guess . . . think that taxidermy is an acceptable form of art.  I'm not going to be the one to argue that.  Whatever you want to put in your home is your prerogative.  I'm the daughter of an avid hunter so  Iaccept that some people enjoy hunting.  I personally don't understand it.  I know there are arguements about keeping populations under control and I understand that but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  That said, I just don't get the appeal of having cows and such stare at you as you eat their distant cousins.  Kind of gross if you ask me.  And why is the poor cow the only one that seems to be acceptable.  There are never taxidermy specimins of pigs or chickens at these restaurants.  It's not like we hunt cows.  They meet (lol! I accidentally spelled that as "meat" at first) their end the same way the chickens and pigs do.  There is a place where we go to eat that has pictures of pigs and chickens on the shirts of the waiters and waitresses.  I still find that disgusting.  Its a tad more tolerable but not much.  When I eat meat, I prefer not to think about where it comes from.  I wish I could go vegetarian again but with all my food allergies and such, it would be so hard.  I don't need to become anemic again.  I don't want to feel like I'm offending the hostess when I don't eat at a party.  Its just too hard.  So in the meantime, I will avoid chicken and fish because they blatently state the name of the animal and that can be too tough for me.  I will ask to be seated away from the offended glare of the taxidermy cow at the steakhouse.  I will do my best to be animal friendly.  Except for beef.  And turkey on Thanksgiving.  Oooo and bacon.  Everything is better with bacon.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Six Pounds of Happiness

I'm here again to keep everyone updated on . . . well . . . everything.  The girl that went missing from Far Away has been found.  I don't know much beyond that she is back home and says she is fine.  The man she was with, whether voluntarily or not, has been arrested.  He wasn't dumb.  He didn't take her across state lines so that it wouldn't be a federal issue.  But she's home and that's what is important.  Now hopefully child services in Far Away will get on the ball and put her someplace where she will be monitored and supervised better than she has been before.  As for the home business, I am learning tons.  See apparently the site I am using to sell my wares is kind of like a cult for some people.  These are the people who have thousands of views of their items.  They join teams and promote each others work whether they like it or not.  I'm not really down with that.  I've join a few teams to promote my stuff and to help others promote their items that I like but I'm not going to blindly promote someone just because they are in my group.  They also have these, for lack of a better term, buying trains.  They make groups within the teams and all buy off of each other.  Good because you sell stuff but bad because it is going someplace where it may not be appreciated.  I would rather know that my stuff is going to a good home than to sell just for the sake of selling.  There are codes and names for stuff and cliques and all kinds of stuff.  Its a little scary to be honest.  Some people really get into it.  I have benefited from learning about these games, clubs and abbreviations but I have to draw the line somehwere or I will go crazy and be on the computer all the time.  Not something that I really desire.  Something I do desire however at the moment is dinner.  Yeah, its only 3:30 but I am soooooo hungry.  Hubby and I have been doing this calorie counting app and it seems to be working.  After three weeks of doing it, I got on the scale and was 6 pounds lighter.  Yay me!  The problem now is that I am convinced it was a fluke and I am afraid to get on the scale again and see that I am right back where I started.  Don't think I could handle that.  Oh, and the lady who took over for me at my old job called me twice yesterday to ask me basic beginner office type questions that she should have been able to figure out on her own.  Oh well, maybe they'll realize what they had now that its gone.  I will no longer be answering the phone when private caller numbers call.  It could be her asking me what to do when her pen runs out of ink.  Lol!  Really.  They were that level of question.  I swear.  So, to recap - one girl home, one girl skinnier, and one girl lost in officeland.  Got to go.  Hubby is home and that means I can eat dinner.  Yes, I know that dinner at 4 p.m. means I should be over the age of 70 but I don't care.  See ya later!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Teleportation - Oh, How I Long for Thee

Yay!  We are getting visitors!  My cousin and his wife are coming out near Suburbia for a concert and he contacted me to ask if we wanted to have breakfast on Monday.  Of course we want to have breakfast on Monday.  We love having people come out here to visit us especially from Hometown.  See, in case you haven't been along for the whole big blog ride, Suburbia and Hometown are about five to five and a half hours apart.  Apparently this is a vast travel nightmare to most people.  My parents come out about once a year and Hubby's parents come out a few times a year but that's about it (with the exception on major life events like a graduation or something).  Meanwhile we are expected to visit Hometown four or five times a year.  I understand that we do not have a spare room for people to stay in if they come but when we come to Hometown we don't have anywhere to stay either.  Due to allergies, we have to stay in a hotel which adds up quickly.  All I know is that the road isn't any shorter coming from Suburbia to Hometown than it is from Hometown to Suburbia.  But Monday morning we will visit with family on our own turf and it feels awesome!  I'm proud of where I live.  I want my family and friends to see it.  The area has a lot to offer with museums, amusement parks, concerts and other performances, etc.  It'll be interesting to see what will happen this Thanksgiving.  See my daughter will be two to three hours away at University and we will have to drive out there and back Tuesday or Wednesday before Thanksgiving on Thursday.  She has to be back the following Monday.  The dilemma lies in that University and Hometown are in opposite directions from Suburbia.  The Kid has a late class on Tuesday evening so we most likely won't be able to pick her up until Wednesday which would leave us driving somewhere around ten hours on Wednesday to get to University and then Hometown.  There also would be no time for The Kid to spend even a moment at home in Suburbia.  Call me selfish but that is just too much to ask of me.  We are going to have to stay home this Thanksgiving which is not going to go over well with anyone back in Hometown.  Maybe I should have Thanksgiving out here in Suburbia.  I could invite my parents and my brother and his family but I doubt they would come.  Where would I put everyone anyway.  So it looks like it will be a Thanksgiving for three here at Casa de Us.  We have done it before.  Once when I had my gallbladder removed and once when we had the copper pipes stolen from the house we own/rent out.  We'll live.  I just need some ideas of new traditions we can start to do with just us.  I'll make it work.  I always do.  If not, I wouldn't be a mom.

Monday, July 2, 2012

What a Weekend!

Things I have learned this weekend:

10) My daughter is addicted to reruns of Grey's Anatomy.

9)  I don't wish that I was young again.  I just wish I posessed the same potential I did when I was younger.

8)  Getting healthy isn't a punishment - its a wonderful, hopefully achievable, goal.

7) I like walking downtown in major cities - even though they can sometimes smell like poo.

6) I am severely addicted to Powerade Zero. 

5) It is possible to sleep without the air cleaner, fan, air conditioner, night light and television on. Not well, but possible.

4) Don't read Dean Koontz when the power goes out.

3) Cirque du Soliel is even more amazing in person. Everyone should see it at some point in their lives and now I can cross it off my bucket list.

2) Skateboarding dogs are even funnier in person. I can also cross this off my bucket list.

1) I am obsessed with death.  Big time!