Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Attention Motorists

There are some things that really get my goat.  I'm sure many of you who read this on a regular basis know that . . . well . . . a lot of things get my goat.  But still, I encountered this three times this morning so I have to say something. 

To all you drivers out there:
If you would like to turn left or right and there is a turning lane available, please use it . . . all of it.  Do not pull your car halfway into the turning lane leaving two wheels in my lane so that I have to either wait on you or risk my brand new car trying to squeeze around you.  If you are turning, COMMIT.  That's all I'm asking.  Pick a lane and stick with it.  This goes for cars and buses as well.  This means you Mr Bus Driver.  The turning lane has been put there for you to use and use correctly.  So please, try your best to use the turning lane in the manner for which it is intended.  I know it is difficult to grasp the concept of a lane just for turning - especially when there are schmucks out there who insist on driving in this lane - but I have faith in your ability.  You can do it.  Also, once in the turning lane do not swing back out into my lane in order to make said turn.  If you do, I will hit you.  That is all.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Aloha Envy

Well, it was a great weekend with my parents.  Watching them play on the Wii was priceless.  Now its back to life.  Back to reality.  The kid is sick today.  School starts tomorrow.  Don't exactly know how that's going to work out.  That would stink if she had to miss the first few days of her senior year.  But lets focus on what's really  important here - Hubby going to Hawaii without me.  He's gone on trips before and yes I have been jealous but this time the green-eyed monster lurks deep in my soul and is often making appearances at the surface.  He says "Its for work" and "I don't even like the people I'm going with".  Hello!  Its still Hawaii!  There's really nothing that can dampen a trip to Hawaii other than a major hurricane (or is it called a typhoon in the Pacific?).  He says "Its no fun going all of these places without you".  But somehow, I think its got to be more fun to be the person who goes to all of those places than it is to be the person sitting at home dealing with normal, everyday life waiting for the other person to get back.  I want to walk on the white, sandy beaches.  I want to sneeze when they put a lei around my neck when I arrive.  I want to meet Dog the Bounty Hunter.  The one time that I REALLY want to go with him, I can't.  It wouldn't be worth it.  Our daughter has a major color guard competition that she can't miss (but my husband will) on that Sunday.  So we'd have to travel Monday.  We have a wedding that Friday (that he swears he will be back for) so we'd have to come back Thursday.  Which would leave us two days.  Two days in paradise and that's all.  Not worth the price of airfare.  Especially when everything at the house we are renting out keeps breaking so we probably won't see an actual rent check until 2013.  Oh well, at least I'll get a pretty postcard.  They say "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".  I think they meant to say "hell hath no fury like a woman whose husband goes to Hawaii without her".  Boy guy, he"ll have to deal with Hurricane Me!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Guessing Game

Today I am waiting for my parents to get here.  Yes, I know!  They are actually coming out here to Suburbia!  They usually make their annual trip around this time of year - for my daughter's birthday.  I shouldn't whine or complain but it is hard that they only come out here once a year - twice if we're really lucky.  I know its a tough trip for them but it still makes me sad.  Its difficult when my mom wanders around my house saying "Oh, look at that" and "I don't remember you having this".  I just want to say you don't remember it because you haven't been here in a year.  But I bite my tongue and smile.  It takes them about six hours or so to get here from Hometown.  I asked my mom to call me when they got into our state thinking she'd call when they crossed over the border.  She did call.  She said they were in our state but she didn't seem to know where or how long ago they entered the state.  There are approximately five hours of their trip within our state.  So I have no idea what time they will get here.  She said they would call again when they got closer.  Problem there is I don't know if closer to her means the state capitol which is an hour away or the mall up the street which is five minutes away.  My daughter wants to go to dinner and then play Wii with them.  She has a cold.  They really seem to want to take her somewhere to do something but they want her to choose and she just wants to stay home.  So it should be an interesting weekend.  Meanwhile, we sit and wait.  Till when, who knows?  Is my house clean enough?  Who knows?  What will we end up doing?  Who knows?  How long are they staying tomorrow?  Who knows?  I am a planner.  I like to have somewhat of a plan.  But that's how I plan when they are coming.  I just plan not to know anything.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Drop It Like Its Hot

We have renters ! ! !  After a five year long quest, we have finally found someone to rent our house in the next town over!  I don't know if I should be getting this excited because it is a group of four college-age boys.  But I look at it this way, rent is rent no matter who it comes from.  We are currently going through our checklist of "Things that need to be done before 'The Boys' move in".  We have done quite a bit and paid quite a bit for people to do the things we couldn't.  Trim the trees out front - check.  Mow and edge the yard - check.  Have the carpets cleaned - check.  Schedule the exterminator to come check it out (at the recommendation of our property manager) - check.  Rehang the door at the bottom of the stairs - check.  Get our crap out of the garage - half a check.  We still have some minor stuff to do.  Mostly getting our crap back here with all our other crap.  We called our insurance company to tell them that we would need to change our policy now that there were renters going to be living in the house and then - WHAM! - they are dropping us.  Its a local insurance agency and they mostly function as the middleman between obscure agencies that actually carry the policies and schmucks like us.  They claim they cannot find anyone to carry our policy because we don't have our auto and renters insurance with them.  What a load of bull!  If we can't have all your business, we don't want any of it.  How juvenile can you get?  They told us to try to go through the people who hold our auto policy and to have a nice day.  Thanks.  So now we are left on our quest for insurance coverage yet again.  We have our policy with a big national company that operates mostly over the internet.  We had a problem with them just the other day.  See, we bought a new car (because Waldo was dying) and had to swap out the cars on our policy.  When Hubby went on-line to do that, their system was in the process of a back-up so even though the change was made, it wouldn't show up in their system until after the next back-up.  They told Hubby this when he called but when he asked for a quote of what our annual payment would be, he was told that they couldn't get that information because the system was performing another back-up.  Why they are doing their system back-ups from 7 - 10 p.m. is beyond me.  Why not do them from 3 - 6 a.m.?  Even the people on the west coast should be sleeping or otherwise involved at that point and their car insurance should be the furthest thing from their mind.  So I don't have insurance on the house I am renting as of Monday, I do have insurance on my new car but I don't how much it is going to cost me, and with my luck the exterminator who is coming out today will find some big-ass bugs that will cost about a million dollars to get rid of.  They say when it rains it pours.  Oh well, I'll be out in Houdini (my new car) smelling that new car smell and relishing the fact that in the insurance world I am hot because everybody's dropping me.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Imminent Demise of Waldo

Today went to get the a/c fixed on my car (aka Waldo).  Since Hubby's car (aka Kermit) is still without a/c we figured one of the two should be tolerable.  We dropped it off.  They charged it up.  We paid our $80 bill and drove off into the sunset (ok, so it was lunchtime, whatever).  But the car only got about two blocks away when it started to seize and make a funny noise.  Great.  We made a u-turn straight back to the garage.  They said it was the compressor - that the a/c charge actually set it off.  This is the same car that had to have a new compressor three times last summer.  Here we were faced with having to get a new compressor yet again - the underlying problem of what was killing the compressors still unresolved.  So we opted out of the new compressor and set out this afternoon to find a new or new-to-us-at-least car.  Three hours, 44 oz. of Diet Pepsi and a pretty severe sunburn later, I still have the car that has seizures and a fully-charged non-working a/c.  We shook hands and took business cards and smiled while the salesmen demonstarted the highlights of the vehicle but we were still so in shock that we were in this predicament in the first place, we didn't want to rush into anything.  The thing I found amazing is how they seemed to gravitate to my husband.  Yeah, their focus turned to me when they talked about color and interior upholstery, but when it came to all of the important stuff, it was Hubby in the spotlight.  Although this tendency upsets me, we use it to our advantage.  I let them talk to Hubby but when we find what we want they have to deal with me.  I am the negotiator.  I am the tough chick.  I am the one who does the wheeling and dealing and that seems to throw them off of their game.  So now, I am on-line shopping for better deals using the knowledge of trade-ins and rebates and financing that I learned at today's dealership to try to get a better deal at tomorrow's dealership.  Meanwhile, Hubby and the kid play Wacky Racers on the Wii.  Wacky racers.  At least those cars work.  They are about the only ones around here that do.

Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm Mister Green Christmas. I'm Mister Sun. I'm Mister Heat Blister. I'm Mister Hundred and One.

Man is it hot outside!  I don't know about where you live but here it is pretty sweltering.  On the news they keep talking about record breaking heat and when we will get a break but then I blink and miss the one day where it is around 90 degrees and BAM! we're back up around 95!  Then today, my car a/c runs out of juice.  Great!  Hubby's car is already out of juice with a price tag of $1000 to fix.  That means that the score of cars without a/c to cars with a/c in our house in a big fat 2 to 0!  I shouldn't complain though because we do have an air conditioned house to hide out in.  I remember back when I was a child.  (Here is where I morph into an old person once again.)  Back in my day, we didn't have air conditioning in our house.  Not central air.  Not even a window unit.  And my parents had a strict policy of your windows only being open for an inch or so at the top while you slept.  Confusing because we slept on the second floor.  Oh and did I mention that they didn't allow us to sleep with fans on.  I do vaguely remember some sort of window fan thing but I don't recall it being on all night.  We would fall asleep every night listening to the trains across the street and wonder if we would drown in pools of our own sweat.  I remember one night as I slept the candlesticks I had in my room melted and bent completely over.  Can you believe that?  Its true.  I sweat . . . I mean swear.  Anyway, Hubby is back in from trying to fix my car's a/c and well, no such luck.  Which is why everyone should have a good doctor, lawyer, contractor AND mechanic in their nearby family and friends.  Or you could just have my dad.  He can fix anything.  It just happens to come out a shade of light blue in the end.  See, my parents painted their bedroom when we were little and apparently had some left over paint because everything that my dad fixed after that turned out blue.  Even the playhouse he made for us was light blue inside and out.  I guess I could drive my car the 5 hours to have my dad fix it.  It is already blue.