Stay

Its Sunday afternoon and I am sad.  Hubby has to leave tomorrow for a business trip.  He will be gone till Wednesday night.  Not a long trip this time but time away from us nonetheless.  I like to think of myself as a strong, independent woman but in reality, I'm not.  I have to admit - I hate it when he has to go away.  I hate sleeping alone.  I hate having nobody to call during the day.  I hate not having him here period.  My depression doesn't help the situation.  I am a spoiled girl.  I like to get what I want when I want it.  I like to have control over all aspects of my life.  But on this front, I don't.  I hate the actual traveling part.  I worry about him on those planes.  I once heard that flying was basically a building on its side thrown from place to place.  I don't like to think of it that way but its really the truth.  Not much reassurance when you think about it.  I especially hate when he travels to a location that is on a different time schedule than us here in Suburbia.  Its hard to connect and talk on the phone when there is a time difference.  I can't sleep without him here.  I toss and turn.  I watch television and just lie there but I don't sleep.  Makes facing the next day even harder.  The evenings won't be too bad.  Our daughter does not have practice this week so she will keep me company in the second half of the day.  I work on Tuesday so that will help a little.  I just feel a little lost without him here.  I know that its corny but I feel like a part of me is missing.  But I will be, as we say in my family, a big brave dog.  I will deal and cope with what I cannot change.  I will miss him until he returns.  Then I will be happy again.  And one Pandora bead richer.