Friday, February 5, 2016
Involuntary Nastics at the Gym
Well it finally happened. I dreaded it. I tried to avoid it. I even had nightmares about it. I actually fell off the treadmill at my gym. It happened simply enough. My phone was in the holder on the machine. I hit a button and went to move my hand back and caught the wire of the ear buds. My phone tumbled to the running belt. Of course, my instincts kick in and I try to grab it but since I am incapable of doing two things at once, my feet stopped walking. Within a half a second, I realized I needed to keep walking but it was too late. By that point I was flailing with one arm and holding onto the side of the machine with the other. I let go of the side, stopped flailing, and just let myself be ejected off the back of the machine. I must have kicked my phone at some point because it was still on the treadmill and was ejected after me. The entire time I was thinking "I can't believe this is happening." Luckily, or was it by divine intervention, I was able to stick the landing. I managed not to fall on my ass. My niece would have been proud of my "nastics" moves but I highly doubted anyone else in the gym would be appreciative of them. I looked around and saw everyone in the gym, ears plugged with ear buds, continuing on with their workouts. Even the folks at the desk didn't seem to notice. I was grateful for this but also a bit unnerved. I just wiped out on the treadmill in grand fashion and nobody noticed. What if I had been really hurt? Would someone have come to my aid? I was in the back so I guess that helped my anonymity. Still. I could have used a "poor baby." And as for not hurting myself, that train quickly left the station. I finished my workout but my arm was hurting a bit. As the evening went on, I became more sore in the realm of my right arm. Today, it hurts to type this and I can't lift my right arm without the fear of vomiting in pain. It'll be a trip to the urgent care tonight for me. Is it sad that I know the x-ray guy at the urgent care by name? And it's January so that means deductible time. So I'll be paying full price for my exam and x-rays. It'll cost more than the year long membership at my gym. So if I had never gone to the gym, I'd have my membership money, my x-ray money, and not be in constant pain? Sounds like the gym is the problem here. Or is it just my lack of coordination. Either way if I hadn't gone to the gym, like ever, I'd be a lot richer and a lot healthier. That doesn't quite seem right. But what's done is done and what's injured is injured. At least I don't have to come up with a disguise to go back to the gym. But I will be forever haunted by the idea that somewhere out there in interwebland there may be surveillance camera evidence of my treadmill dance with death.