Little Miss Crankypants

I called the girl to fix the color in my hair and she was nice - as usual I just made things out to be worse than they really are.  I have no villian at the moment so I'm kind of cranky.  It is a beautiful day outside and I'm still cranky.  I had a productive day and I'm still cranky.  I had a breakfast date with my hubby and I'm still cranky.  What the hell is my problem?  Oh, that's right, I have Mood Disorder N. O. S.  There I go again.  Making myself be the disorder.  My therapist says that I shouldn't let my disorders define who I am but when your disorders affect majority of your thoughts, actions, and emotions, how do you differentiate yourself from the disorder without ending up with a split personality.  Which, I might add is a whole other disorder. I think I'm just tired.  My doc allowed me to go off of one of my meds upon my request.  Sometimes I get tired of putting so many extra chemicals into my body even if they are needed or have good results.  It was the med that helped me to sleep.  I'm falling asleep just fine but I'm not sleeping as deeply or as soundly as I was before.  When I wake up at night (and I do wake up many times with or without the medication) I find that I am more awake and alert than with my medication which makes me realize that the medication was actually doing something.  The trouble is that I don't want to go back on the medicine but I want to be getting enough sleep.  Whatever.  I'm just cranky and that's the way its going to be today.