I've Been Committed Before, Literally, So Why Can't I Commit Now

Today, I did it.  Well, I kind of did it.  Ok, so I didn't really do it, I kind of wimped out again.  See, I'm trying to quit my job.  I want to quit my job.  I need to quit my job.  But I can't seem to commit to quitting my job.  Which is funny because most people would consider the act of having the job the commitment and the quitting of the job more of a lack of commitment.  But I just can't seem to put in my two weeks notice.  Today, I told my boss that I was 95% sure that I would be submitting my resignation before my next work day which is Tuesday.  That was about as sure of it as I could get in the moment.  I honestly don't know what they are going to do if (when) I leave.  There is no continuity book.  I offered to make one for them years ago but I told them I would need more hours or pay and they said no thanks.  Its not that I think so highly of myself that I think they can't function without me.  I just do stuff in the office that nobody else does which means nobody else will know how to do them once I leave.  My big fear in quitting is that I just hermit myself away from society and do nothing which I really feel I am prone to do but I am committed to making an effort for this not to happen.  I scheduled to go to a Suburbia Women's League meeting next week and may join that group.  I also thought about volunteering at the local public library since I love books or maybe even getting another job.  I'm not opposed to working.  I just feel that after eight years at the same place I need a change.  I've become stagnant.  Its that stubborn Taurusian trait that haunts me.  I get into a place and I don't want things to change.  If there was a tsunami coming, I wouldn't move my beach chair.  What I need to realize is that change can be good, change can be liberating and change is inevitable.  So why not choose to quit while I have the control to quit rather than waiting for them to run out of money, as so many non-profits do, to pay me.  I'll be interested to see if they replace me or just have volunteers do my job.  That would be funny.  I really don't think that they realize what all I did there.  Yeah, sometimes I felt like a monkey could do my job but there are plenty of times where things get beyond the zoo animals and take some thought and strategy.  I'd like to see any one of the people in that organization who are my "customers" put up with their fellow "customers".  It wouldn't last long and it wouldn't be pretty.  So I'm adding to the blog description.  Not only is it a blog about a girl trying to lose weight and find a new therapist, but also one who is quitting her job and revamping her life.  Maybe I should change the name of my blog from "My Thoughful Spot" to "My Mid-Life Crisis".