On My Own, Pretending You're Beside Me

So, its two weeks until The Kid moves into her new dorm and her new life at University.  I know that this is about her, but I also need to be concious that it is about me too.  Yes, it is a big change in her life but it is a big change in mine also.  We have been best buds, partners in crime, twinsies for the last 18 years.  All of that is gonna change in two weeks.  I know that I have to let her go.  I will let her go.  It will pain me and sadden me but I will let her go.  The moving her in and the leaving her there will be hard but I can numb myself through that process.  What will be hard is the coming home.  There will be no more kid in the house.  It'll just be me and Hubby.  That is a strange concept.  See, Hubby and I started dating and were married within a year.  About a month before our first anniversary, The Kid came along.  We barely had time to ever be a couple.  What if we don't function well that way?  What if The Kid is the glue that holds us together?  What if everything begins to unravel?  What am I going to do with myself now that I'm no longer at 24/7 active presence mom?  The last time I went through a major life change if you don't count quitting two jobs was when we bought the house.  We all remember what happened when we bought the house.  I had a nervous breakdown.  I ended up in the psych. ward at the hospital.  I don't want that to happen again.  I especially don't want it to happen this time as The Kid will think it is her fault when its not.  Its just me.  I can't deal with major change that easily.  It has already started happening.  I've noticed I am crankier.  I've noticed that I'm not sleeping as well.  I've noticed that I am taking more and more of my tranquilizing meds.  This is not good.  My therapist seems to think that I am doing well and that I am handling things in my life very well.  I put on a good show don't I?  She doesn't know the true me.  I find myself telling her what I think she wants to hear when I am there.  We never really talk about problems.  We talk about what is going on in my life and I emphasize the good and don't bring up the bad.  I don't tell her that I've taken to gagging a lot due to the stress.  Almost throwing up seems to be my body's way of dealing with this impending doom.  See just the fact that I referred to it as impending doom just goes to show how I am viewing this whole thing.  So if there are any empty-nesters out there who have gone through this and are willing to share some advice, I am open to listening.  And for the record, my therapist has already told me the I may want to get another job or start volunteering once The Kid leaves but I just don't feel like that is going to fill the void her leaving will cause.  It would be like taking an empty can of coke and filling it with water.  You've filled it.  Its full.  Its just not right though.  The water just doesn't fit in the place of the coke.  I know it has to happen.  I know I will live through it.  I just don't know how.