Awakening

I feel energized.  This is the first morning in a long, long time I have felt excited about facing the day.  I almost feel nesty - like cleaning and organizing.  What is up with that?  There is no more conflict.  This is the first day in what feels like forever that I don't have an internal struggle brewing and looming.  I know what I have to do.  I know that this is kind of cryptic but I want to make sure it is done before I give away all the details.  I can't help but love the freedom that I feel.  I am me again.  Its like the fog of depression has been lifted.  I even had an affirmation last night that the decision I've come to is the right one.  There are some things that just aren't cool and I can't be fighting against them for the rest of my life.  I've learned a lot.  I know more now than I did when I started.  More about my wants and my needs - more about myself in general.  I am not superwoman.  There are things I can't handle.  There are things I can't change.  While that saddens me, I accept it.  I wanted to make a difference.  Instead, I am just different.  There is no way to quite describe the weight that has been lifted off of me.  I feel as though I'm alive again.  But I am seeing things through entirely new eyes.  Grateful for having figured things out.