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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Innards Peace

We got the background information on the girl we are most interested in today and there's nothing in there that would make me say no.  So many others had a "yeah but" or a "well" that made me . . . or rather us . . . hesitate.  It was exactly the opposite as I thought it would happen.  I thought I would see a picture and know in my gut.  Instead, I saw a picture and thought "she's cute" but there's got to be a catch.  Maybe I had just been let down too many times to allow myself to get in too deep.  I never got my hopes up.  I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  There had to be a hitch.  There had to be something that would make us say no.  But so far, there's not.  Its difficult, but I'm still trying not to fall in love with her.  I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong.  I haven't accepted the fact that there may be nothing wrong.  My gut is telling me to approach with caution.  But I need to remember that my gut is wrong a lot of the time.  I have to learn to listen to my gut . . . and then run in the other direction.  My gut is telling me to be on guard.  My gut is not telling me that this is positively the right one for us and that could very likely mean she IS the right one for us. Maybe I should get a gut transplant.  One that's a little more accurate.  Until then I just have to do the opposite of what it tells me.  If only my heart and my brain could talk to my gut and convince it there is nothing to be afraid of.  Why can't my organs communicate with one another?  If there was harmony amongst my insides then I feel I could experience peace in this life changing situation.

1 comment:

  1. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. She is out there. Hopefully you're getting warmer. Hugs to you my friend!

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