All I Want for Christmas is a Detached Retina

Its the new year!  Yay!  I was going to talk about how this year will be "The Year of Change" for me but upon further consideration I have decided to go with this humorous Christmas happening in the hopes of prolonging everyone's Christmas spirit.  See, in keeping with the foreign tradition that we started when we lived overseas, we always leave one present in our daughter's room at the foot of her bed for Christmas morning.  So, it was Christmas morning, like super early, and I got out of bed to pee.  I noticed on the way to the bathroom that the gift, a pillow pet, that we placed in her room was missing so I assumed that she had gotten up at some point in the night, found it, and had taken it back to bed with her.  Anyway, I did my business and headed back to my bed but couldn't get back to sleep even though it was still dark and silent.  I had my eyes closed to rub some sleep out of them and when I opened them - FLASH!  "What the hell was that?"  Then I remembered hearing on some medical show at some point in time that if you got a detached retina, you would see bright white flashes prior to going blind.  "Ok.  Remain calm.  I'm sure it was a one off thing and you were just pressing on your eyes too hard."  FLASH!  "Oh shit!  It happened again!  Great!  Its Christmas and what do I get - a detached retina!  Wonderful!  I'll be blind for Christmas!  Just my luck!  Perfect timing!  Way to ruin Christmas for everyone!"  In a panic, I get up and head to the bathroom again - only this time I hear a small voice say "Merry Christmas."  It was my daughter in her room.  Come to find out she was taking flash pictures of her new pillow pet with her newly-rediscovered-after-being-lost-for-three-months camera.  The morals of the story - if you see white flashes, make sure nobody around you is taking pictures before rushing off to the emergency room AND pillow pets make great gifts for people of all ages.  Next year, pillow pets and eye check-ups for everyone on my gift list!

It Doesn't Matter if He Can Tap Dance or Not, Jesus is Still an Awesome Guy

I was at our work Christmas party the other day having a good old time.  The party planning committee (me and my stuffed pig) had accomplished another brilliant feat of festive activities and I was thoroughly enjoying them.  In discussing the holiday with my co-worker, (yes I only have one and the party consists of me and him) I said how I was behind on my Christmas to-do list.  I stated that I didn't even have my stable and nativity up yet and how there just isn't room for it this year.  I thought for a second.  I have room for the six and a half foot tall Christmas tree (barely).  I have room for the snowmen and the penguins, the cute birds with the santa hats who are ice skating and the Mickey and Minnie Mouse in the sleigh.  I even have room for the tap dancing santa, reindeer and elves, but the Christ child - heck no.  No room for him in my inn.  I had to chuckle at myself.  I try so hard to respect the religious beliefs of others that I often forget and turn my back completely on the religious roots to which I will forever be tethered even with all my doubting and questioning.  Whether I believe Jesus was the son of God or not, he was a great man.  We celebrate Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and many other great men and women.  But I happened to overlook the celebrating of possibly the most influential and inspiring person in all of history just because he is claimed to be supernatural and I don't know if I agree with that.  Either way, his life should be celebrated and what better way to celebrate it than by celebrating his birth (even if the date was chosen based on numerous other outside influences rather than actual chronology).  Even though I prefer to focus on his life and teachings rather than his birth and death, without a birthday there would be no Jesus.  So Chuy, I will move the parrot's playgym and get out my nativity - complete with santa, reindeer, snowmen, winnie the pooh, squirrels, unicorn, panda bears, rooster and six kings - and make room in my heart as well.  Remember, peace, hope and love is what he proclaimed and it is what I wish you this holiday season!  Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate to You!

12 for 12

My thoughts have been rather scattered lately.  My ADD is in overdrive and with the holiday fast approaching, this is not a good thing.  So today I've decided I'd give you a taste of what goes on in my head.  In honor of 12/12, here are 12 things that have been on my mind.

12.  Why is my house so hot in the daytime?  I'm talking like Jamaica hot.  If we turn the heat down then we are too cold later in the day.  It could just be me but I'm too young to be getting hot flashes.

11.  How did we get so much Christmas stuff?  It seems like Hubby just keeps bringing more and more of it up from the basement.  I have no idea how we have accumulated so much . . . well . . . Christmas crap.  Its festive and I love it.  Its just that there isn't room in our tiny townhouse for it all.

10.  Why is it that every time some little bitty thing goes wrong at our house in the next town over that we are renting out . . . anyway, why do they call property management every time?  Instead of checking the fuses, they just call and say that the indoor garage opener isn't working.  Fine.  Check the fuse and if that's not it then DEAL.  You still have two garage door openers and the keypad on the garage.  Its a one car garage.  Do you really need that many ways to access it?  I swear when I agreed to give these very young boys a chance, I should have realized they were spoiled rotten.  If you asked me right now if I would renew their lease in 2012, the answer would be NO!

9.  I think we may be a mite-free home.  They seem to be gone.  Fingers crossed.  Knock on wood.

8.  I am getting very restless at my job.  I don't know why.  Its not hard.  Its just annoying.  I can't imagine having the commitment of a career and working full-time, but I feel like I want more.  I really should get into this writing a book thing that I keep thinking about.  What harm would it do?  Maybe after the holidays.

7.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  Maybe if I say it enough times, I will be ok with it.  She has gotten into the College Down the Street.  She even made it into their honors program.  I know that she will get into others and I am not looking forward to having to help her make this decision.  Choices like which Christmas gift to buy are hard for her because of her OCD.  I can't begin to imagine the drama this decision is going to come with.

6.  Am I blogging just for my own mental health or does reading my blog actually keep people informed on my life and maybe even help them with their problems?  (If nothing else by showing them that we all have problems.)  This blog has quite a few followers but I haven't gotten a new one in quite some time and my other blog http://www.myliteraryopinions.blogspot.com/ only has 5 followers.  It gets more hits than that but only 5 followers is kind of a bummer.  I wonder if I should keep them going?

5.  What am I going to mail my Grandmother's Christmas gift to her in.  I have it wrapped and ready to go in a shirt box.  A typical shirt box.  I wanted to send it Priority Mail so I got one of their mailing boxes.  The one referred to as a shirt box.  The only problem is their shirtbox is about 3/4 of an inch shorter than my shirt box.  Come on people.  A shirt box should be a shirt box.  When will the world get its act together and have uniform standard sizes?

4.  What else can I get my daughter for Christmas?  I have some gifts and some ideas but need more.  If you come up with any, you can comment on this blog.  I just won't post your comment so she doesn't see it.  What would you want if you were a 17 1/2 year old girl?

3.  How come if according to the movie "Fred Claus" when Santa becomes a saint, he and his whole family stop aging and freeze at the age they are at but then in the movie "The Santa Clause 3" he and his wife have a baby how could that happen according to the rules of Santa from "Fred Claus"?  Hubby says they are just movies but I am thinking this is an important thing to kids and what would I say if a random child should ask me?  I think Hollywood should get it together on their Santa lore.

2.  Where am I gonna find the money in our budget to pay for our trip to Hometown between Christmas and New Year's?  I really shouldn't be worrying about this because Hubby took over the budgetting for the year so technically I am giving myself one more month off before I start doing it again but I can't help but worry.  The hotel is like $160 per night.  We are looking at two or three nights.  We don't have that kind of a chunk of change just sitting around.  Besides, if we did I would have already spent it on Christmas.

1.  Is my Grandma ok?  Last week she broke her leg and had to get a rod put in place of the bones between her knee and ankle.  Its times like this when its really hard to live 5 hours away.  I know that my being there wouldn't really do anything except maybe make her smile but I just wish I was.  Calling on the phone just isn't the same.  I miss my Gram.

There you go.  A roller coaster ride through my mind this Christmas season.  I will make my best effort to have my next posting be a more cohesive thought process.  I promise.

Personal Postal Purging ------------- (try saying that five times real fast)

I did it!  I did it!  I can't believe I did it!  I finally had the nerve to cut some people off of my Christmas card list!  After sending out 96 cards last year, I decided enough was enough.  I went through my list which was now well over 100 and axed a few non-recipricaters.  Chop! Chop!  I liked sending cards to them and thought they liked receiving them but when you don't hear back from people you just never know.  So I said ado to about ten people.  Yeah, that's right - a whole big ten people.  Chop!  Chop!  I'm ruthless.  What can I say?  Then, I realized I had lost my Christmas card address book.  This was a huge catastrophe in my house.  I looked everywhere and then I started to see the silver lining of this dilemma.  I couldn't find it so I started asking people for their addresses again.  Some responded and some didn't.  Most who didn't respond got the axe.  Chop!  Chop!  They may be great people who were at one point or another cherished friends but if they can't spring for the couple of quarters it takes to buy a stamp.  See ya!  Chop! Chop!  I did manage to find my address book the day after I mailed my cards.  And I have to admit that I did make out a few cards to a few people that I missed.  I even received a card from someone I didn't send one to.  I broke down and sent one to them too.  I was weak and the guilt got to me.  I admit it.  But my number is still below 100 and as Santa is my witness, I will never let my Christmas card list go over 100 cards again. 

Angels Don't Just Grow on Trees

While in Hometown for the holiday weekend, we were out shopping.  Yes, it was on Black Friday but surprisingly it wasn't to get any of the Black Friday deals which all actually happened on Thursday night anyway.  So, we go to Wally World and I was thrilled to see that they had an angel tree in the front of the store.  An angel tree, for those that don't know, is a Christmas tree decorated with slips of paper.  Each slip of paper has the name, age and gender of a child in need on it.  You are supposed to pick a slip off of the tree and buy an age and gender appropriate toy for that child.  There are usually collection boxes around the tree.  I love doing the angel tree and it is something they don't really seem to do here in Suburbia.  I love helping those in need especially at Christmas time.  But I also make an attempt to handle my philanthropical giving on my own and not rely on charities, especially when it comes to one group - military families.  Don't get me wrong,  I'm not unpatriotic.  I appreciate all that our service men and women do for me and our country.  I just have a problem because at one point I was part of a needy military family. I even had to do Christmas by myself while my spouse was deployed.  Nobody, I repeat NOBODY, from any charity ever asked if we needed help.  Nobody offered us food or toys for our child.  Nobody even checked to make sure that I was okay handling the holiday alone as a single parent.  Holidays were hard.  Being away from family was difficult.  We managed to scrape by and our child always had presents to open on Christmas morning and there was always a holiday meal to feast on but it was usually the work of creative financial planning and going without other things that made it possible.  Could we have sought out charities and begged for a hand-out?  Yes, but there is this thing called pride that seems to get in the way.  I'm not saying people should not give to charities that benefit the military families.  This is just my personal experience.  What I am saying is to make sure that ANY charity you are giving to is actually doing what you think and they claim they are doing.  Or better yet don't rely on some corporation, even if it is non-profit, to do the work for you.  If you know a family in need, offer them help directly.  Invite them to your holiday meal.  Share your home with them to provide some company.  Take them a bag of food or some toys for their kids.  It may feel ackward and they may claim not to need it but I can guarantee you they will be thankful even if it isn't directly to your face.  If everyone just took care of their friends and neighbors like family, we wouldn't need all these hundreds of charities funneling money in a million different directions and people wouldn't get overlooked and slip through the cracks.  Show your appreciation directly to our military men and women.  Include them in your Christmas card list.  Check on their families while they are deployed.  You may make a world of difference in a person's life but rely on yourself to do it - not some middleman.

Pssst . . . Santa . . . It's Room 104

The saying goes "you can't go home again" and I've decided that is true for me and my family.  We will be going to Hometown for Thanksgiving and between Christmas and New Year if weather permits but we will not be going for Christmas proper.  We will be spending Christmas Eve and Day here in our own humble abode.  After chatting at length with Uncle Fantastic, I came to realize that the experience I wanted my daughter to have didn't really exist anymore.  There was no sitting around the table on Christmas Eve.  It is now done buffet style.  Not that that's a huge change but it made me realize that what I experienced as a child was my childhood, not my daughter's.  Her childhood and holiday traditions involved myself and her dad.  Just our little family of three.  We have our own Christmas Eve party where we gorge ourselves on junk food and play games and/or do activities.  (Last year it was a Wii tournament.  This year's activities are craft-centered.  Just what Hubby was hoping for!  Yeah, right!)  We have done this for years.  Why should I deny her the Christmas traditions she knows just to try to relive my past.  I don't know if they even break the small sheets of blessed wafers at my grandparents house anymore and well, she's too old to crawl under the table when she's finished and tickle everybody's feet.  Besides, the dog does that now anyway.  She needs to stay rooted in her norm - our traditions.  Next year, she may be off to college and coming home for Christmas and that home will be here in Suburbia, not back in Hometown.  This IS her Hometown whether I want to accept that or not.  She grew up here.  This is what she knows.  So while I will be sad for a moment missing another Christmas Eve with my family, I will embrace the fact that I will be having Christmas Eve with My Family.  Besides, how does Santa know what hotel room number you're in anyway?  Not a risk I want to take.   :)

Oh, There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

I am in a bit of a spot here.  It involves me, hometown, family and Christmas.  See my family has some big traditions when it comes to Christmas.  From what they eat on which days to who sits where to pass out presents.  My dilemma is I would really like my daughter to get to experience these traditions.  We have never gone to hometown for actual Christmas Day proper.  We always go sometime between Christmas and New Year.  We have always used the "Santa excuse" for not coming on said day.  But I want my daughter who is now 17 to have the opportunity to experience, just once, the kind of Christmas I grew up with.  I know I can't duplicate my childhood for her but giving her a taste of what I endured . . . I mean participated in would mean a lot to me.  Not to mention my mother.  It would totally make her dreams come true to see us on December 24th and 25th.  She may get so excited she may just explode.  I don't want my mother to explode.  What kind of daughter would I be if I wanted that?  Anyway, I also have another concern.  See, my family doesn't like change.  Any kind of change at all.  If we go back for Christmas Eve/Day, this is going to throw them for a loop.  We don't have assigned seats at the table.  We don't have assigned seats in the basement for present distribution.  We just don't belong there.  I can't help feeling this way but it has been held without us for the past 16 years.  Throwing us into the mix is just asking for trouble.  A huge monkey wrench in the holiday plans.  I'm positive if I asked my Grandma she'd be thrilled to have us.  Do doubt in my mind.  My trouble is do I want to do this or not.  I don't want the drama that comes along with a large family gathering even if it is Christmas.  I think maybe I've been away too long.  Maybe I'm just remembering all the good things about Christmas and blocking out all the bad stuff and THAT is what I want my daughter to experience.  A Christmas where nobody is bitter or upset or downright angry.  Just a nice fairytale Christmas where we all sit around singing carols and drinking cocoa.  Yeah, that's not what I'm gonna get.  I guess I just have to make a decision and go with it.  The song says "there's no place like home for the holidays" but I don't know.  I am open to any advice anyone would like to share.  Let the friendly guidance commence . . . now.

The Great Sugar Rush is Over. Bring on the Dead and the Elves.

Wow!  I totally suck at being a blogonista!  The month of October came and went and I barely shared anything with you guys and gals.  How dare I neglect my peeps like that.  Shame on me!  Happy Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead for those of you who don't speak a lick of Spanish.  We have decided to celebrate this holiday in our house mostly for three reasons - 1) To honor the dead, 2) To have an excuse other than Cinco de Mayo to eat out at a Mexican restaurant, and 3) To create altars to honor the dead and thus (you got it) to have to shop for said materials to make said altars.  We are no way of shape remotely Spanish but any excuse to eat out and shop.  Besides, doesn't it make for a well rounded child to learn about different cultures and their traditions.  Ever though its full of skeletons and such, I like the Day of the Dead much better than Halloween.  But that's ok because Halloween is over and within seconds the Christmas decorations were up in the stores and the Christmas music blaring out of their speakers.  I love Christmas so I don't really mind.  I think that the people who complain "what about Thanksgiving" need to see Thanksgiving for what it really is: Pre-Christmas.  That's right.  It's a time when everyone in the family gets together for a big meal.  Its like practice for Christmas.  Its like a warm fuzzy reminder of all the drama you will have to endure on that holiest of nights and days.  I also think that if you wait until after Thanksgiving to put up your decorations and go all Christmas everywhere, you don't have enough time to enjoy your efforts.  Put up your decorations and do your shopping before Thanksgiving so that come the actual Christmas season, all you have to do is flip a switch and sit back and enjoy your eggnog.  Otherwise, you are rushing to get everything up and everything done and by the time you are finished, it is time to take it all down and pack it all away again.  Totally not worth it!  So I shrug off the fact that we got zero trick-or-treaters this year and pull out my Christmas cards.  I've started my shopping already because its the most wonderful time of the year!  P.S.  Just in case you didn't know, Santa is just like me.  He has OCD too.  He makes a list AND THEN checks it TWICE!  Man, I love Christmas!

Insuring a Perfect Holiday

Dear Nationwide Insurance,

I would like to thank you for covering the recent copper pipe theft we experienced in the house which we are trying to sell.  You handled our claim swiftly even promising us that we were paying too much and adjusting our policy.  We appreciate all you have done for us including opening our eyes to your ridiculous practices and idiotic procedures.  Not being able to talk to an actual person at your office has been a true delight.  There is nothing I enjoy more than pushing buttons trying to get a real person.  Your front office staff has been remarkably unhelpful.  It seems they really excel at taking customers money and, if they are calling for any other reason, making sure they get disconnected.  I myself got to experience this wonderful skill during three consecutive phone calls - all within a fifteen minute span.  Now that's talent.  But most of all I would like to thank you for the wonderful Christmas greeting that arrived in our post box yesterday.  Most Christmas mail simply says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" but no, you went with the much more original "We sincerely regret we are unable to continue your Homeowner insurance protection at this time".  Wow.  Never has a more eloquent Christmas greeting been uttered.  What an amazing gift - adjusting our policy so that our payments will be zero.  I hope you all had a magnificent Christmas break of four and a half days out of the office.  Nothing beats spending time with family especially when you drive together to your agent's office to find it dark and vacant.  Your holiday spirit in unmatched and your new year will be prosperous, without you even having to do anything to deserve it.  Thank you for making this a craptastic Christmas for me and my family.

Sincerely,
quirky me

Happy Christmahanukwanzukah To You!

Today I have taken a break from all the wrapping and baking and planning and preparing to say Happy Whatever-It-Is-You-Celebrate to you!  I'm not sure with all of the excitement of the next few days that I will be able to get to blogging.  So I want to wish you, well, to be honest, a Merry Christmas.  Christmas is what I celebrate and I don't really understand what is so bad about saying Merry Christmas.  If I say Merry Christmas to someone who is Jewish are they going to slug me?  I doubt it.  If someone who is Jewish were to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, I would feel honored that they were sharing their celebration with me.  Same goes for Kwanzaa.  Same for the Winter Solstice.  Whatever you celebrate, you should be able to wish a friendly greeting to people in that time of year.  Its too hard to remember who to say what greeting to so as not to offend anyone.  Sharing your feelings of happiness shouldn't have to be politically correct.  Its all gotten way too out of hand.  My daughter came to me the other day confused.  She was wondering if Chanukah was a politically correct way to combine Christmas and Hanukkah.  After I set her straight (and had a quick chuckle), I really got to thinking about the term Happy Holidays.  I went from thinking of it as a polite way to encompass everyone's beliefs in one salutation to thinking of it as a forced means of regulating society into being too generic.  I think we've all just gotten a little too sensitive on the topic.  What's wrong with being proud of who you are and what you celebrate.  So to all of my peeps out there - Merry Christmas!  I send you a warm greeting inviting you to share in my celebration of the joy of the season.  Be proud.  Don't wimp out with Happy Holidays.  Share your feelings and if someone says "I don't celebrate that" then ask them what they do celebrate.  You may just learn something new about them and allow them to show their pride in their beliefs and celebrations.

Christmas Krogering

This Saturday is Christmas and yesterday I had to go to the grocery store.  I would have rather licked the parking lot pavement than gone into the actual Krogers but it had to be done.  I hadn't bought anything for Christmas dinner, Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas baking or, well anything food-like remotely related to Christmas.  Not to mention the usual milk and bread staples.  I was amazed at the lack of courtesy that was on display within the super mega-sized store.  I should have known not to expect much but I wasn't prepared for what I encountered.  People were acting like they were the only ones in the store - blocking aisles, grabbing items, crashing carts and generally being obnoxious.  It was like a pack of rogue monkeys was let loose in the store.  I thought maybe since its Christmas everyone will be filled with the Christmas spirit.  Apparently they checked their Christmas spirit at the door because no such luck.  I followed one lady (because there wasn't space to get around her) for at least five minutes as she strolled along at a snail's pace just to have her decide at the end of the aisle that she needed to suddenly do a 180 and hit into my cart at which point she looked at me like I suddenly jumped in HER way.  It took a total of an hour and a half to get through the store and I left without some of the things that I needed (their stock was well picked over).  And the wonderful Christmas carols that we all love just add to the aggrivation.  I really enjoy the carols when I am shopping but not in those kinds of crowds.  One cannot be calmed by "Joy to the World" when there is no joy in your world because someone just snaked the last pouch of sugar cookie mix as you reached for it.  I should have known better than to try to go to a store this close to Christmas.  This is why I shop for my gifts in September.  Too bad food expires.  Oh well, at least I don't have to go to the Wal-mart this week.

Jingle Fails

So I realized today that its the last day before Christmas break.  I remember when I was in school and it felt like we went to school all the way up to December 23rd every year.  But no, our daughter gets out of school on December 17th for Christmas.  That's over a week before Christmas actually happens.  But whatever, my complaining isn't going to change the school calendar.  It'll just make me feel better for about 2 seconds.  There - back to being annoyed.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my daughter and love spending time with her.  I just have way too much left to do before Christmas to have break start already.  I was so proud because my tree was up early but other than the tree, there's not a speck of Christmas to be seen.  Creating a holiday wonderland - Fail.  See once Christmas break starts, wrapping presents for her is not an option during the day.  So today, after my great realization, I spent over 2 hours wrapping Christmas gifts in every shape and size imaginable.  Now my shoulders hurt, my neck hurts, and I'm still not done.  Wrapping gifts early - Fail.  But hey, 2 hours now is 2 hours I don't have to spend wrapping in the middle of the night between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  But there is still so much more to be done.  There are still a few more presents to buy.  Shopping ahead of time - Fail.  It was much easier last year when we spent the week before Christmas in Florida at Disney World.  Everyone who wasn't bought for ahead of time got something cool from Mickey himself.  Then I had an excuse.  Most things were done well in advance and the things that weren't done ahead of time just didn't get done under the guise of "we weren't home".  Baking being one of them.  This year, I still haven't even bought the ingredients to bake anything.  Yummy Christmas cookies - Fail.  This year its back to the same old last minute wrapping and shopping and baking and decorating.  At the rate I'm going, I think I'll be done some time in - February!  But I love Christmas and I will make it happen and what doesn't happen oh well.  Christmas is about family and love and much more than cookies and presents and decorations.  Whatever happens I need to remember its my book and I write my own ending and I say it ends like this: Failing at having a wonderful Christmas - FAIL!

Right On Target

This is just a message for all you shoppers out there looking for those last minute Christmas prezzies.  Go to Target and then check your receipt.  It is apparently name your price time at Target.  At least it is at our Target.  We went the other night and bought two things.  When we got to the cashier with our items, he scanned the first one.  Ok fine.  He scanned the second one and it didn't come up in the system.  So he goes "Do you remember how much this costs?  Just take a guess."  Well, having the memory of an elephant and some morals worked against me this time and I answered with the correct price which he quickly typed in and charged me for the item.  Then he told us our total and it didn't sound quite right.  When I looked at the receipt on the way out, we had been charged ten dollars too much for item number one.  Before we even left the store we headed to customer service/returns and told the woman we had been overcharged by ten dollars for an item.  She said "Ok", hit a few buttons and ta-da ten dollars back in my pocket!  No questions.  No price check.  No problem.  I thought "Wow.  What a nice employee." as I left the store.  Then today we had to return something to the Target.  The people in front of us had the same problem.  They had been overcharged for something too.  Without even blinking an eye the employee (a different one than the one we had) refunded them their money.  Two theories on this - either A) Target is going with a "the customer is always right" motto for the holidays or B) Target knows that their items are scanning for the wrong prices and are trying to overcharge people without them noticing.  If they notice, good for them.  They get their money back.  If they don't, all the more money for Target.  Either way, the moral of the story is if you want to get a good Christmas deal, go to Target.  You may get to name your price.  But beware and check your receipt, or you may be out of luck!  Happy Shopping Everyone!

Guilt Blogging

Ok.  Today's blog is out of guilt.  I haven't blogged in a few days and I'm feeling guilty about it.  But when I stopped and thought about it, I really didn't have anything creative, pertinent, or even witty to say.  Its been a pretty normal past few days.  I had my Christmas party at work.  It was fun.  My boss, who is the only other person in the office, worked through half . . . well . . . most of the party.  So I sat and read a lot.  I've heard from some of the caseworkers but nothing more than "Please send us a copy of your homestudy".  I have to wait until next Monday to submit any more names to my case worker.  I didn't go to work today because I have a sinus headache that could bring down a bear.  I've been thinking a lot about my purpose in life again, but still haven't come up with any lightbulb moments.  I've been up to . . . well . . . not much.  I'm not quite sure why I'm telling y'all this but I am just blogging out of guilt.  Guilt.  There's one thing I'm good at.  I'm Catholic.  It's something we're taught from a very young age.  It is an amazing thing.  Not only do we know how to experience it, but we know how to inflict it as well.  We're masters at the art.  We use it to get what we want and then feel guilty for using it.  It amazes me how participants of other religions don't get the full experience of guilt that Catholics do.  My husband is perfectly capable of having no guilt.  I don't know how he does it.  He also has the ability to not place blame.  Something I have had to work hard to not do.  I think guilt and blame go hand in hand.  My family loved playing the blame game and for some reason, I always seemed to be get the brunt of it.  But I won't bother you with that right now.  I'm just babbling.  Today's blog is just not up to par and, Lord help me,  I feel guilty.

Oh Boy Santa!

Funny Flashback -
About a decade ago, we lived in rural England.  Having moved there in the summer and realizing we would be limited in our "Santa" options, my hubby and I made the best with what we could find come November and December.  Our daughter, who was three years old at the time, wasn't really raised with gender specific roles so we thought she'd be open to anything.  One of the gifts we selected for her was a Hot Wheels race track.  We happily stayed up late Christmas Eve wrapping the gifts rather proud of ourselves for accomplishing Christmas in a foreign land with limited resources.  The morning came and wouldn't you know that the first present our daughter opened was that Hot Wheels track.  She excitedly tore the paper off of it.  Upon seeing what it was, she threw it down on the floor and proclaimed in tears "Santa thinks I'm a BOY!!!!!"  After much reassurance, a few more gifts, and mom and dad "playing" with the "oh-so-fun" track and cars, she recovered and a wonderful Christmas was had by all, but we were left with a memory we will never forget :)

R.I.P. Christmas Lights

Yesterday we finally got out the Christmas tree.  I have been waiting, as you know, a long time for this event.  Hubby and Daughter set up the tree and all was going well until Hubby plugged in the lights.  They didn't work.  Luckily he had not yet put them on the tree.  He plugged in another string of bulbs.  Nothing.  Not a shine.  Not a twinkle.  Nothing.  Come to find out thay most of our Christmas tree lights had died.  Now, we have had these particular lights for 17 Christmases so they definitely had a long life but I just wasn't expecting to have to put them to rest just yet.  (Sniff.  Sniff.)  They and the tree were a wedding gift from my grandparents.  But I gave in and headed to the store today to buy new lights.  Hubby said we previously had six sets.  50 feet of lights in each set.  Ok.  We get to the store and of course there are about 5,000 choices of lights.  You've got your minis and your traditionals and your spheres and your bulbs and even flame tipped ones.  And they all come in white or colored or all red or all blue.  There was even a set of all purple lights.  We located the lights that looked best.  Spheres - a change from the old traditional.  Wouldn't want my old lights to feel as though they're being replaced.  Just a change to something different.  Each box says that it holds a set with a length of approximately 20 feet.  Ok.  Time for math.  We previously had six sets at fifty feet each.  That's 300 feet of lights.  Ok.  At 20 feet per box we need 15 boxes.  15 seemed like a little much so we opted for 12.  Yeah, that's right we bought 12 boxes of Christmas lights for our tree.  We even weighed out the option of buying new lights versus buying a new pre-lit Christmas tree.  After dropping $120 some dollars, we head home to discover that each box of our old lights did not contain 50 feet of lights.  There were 50 LIGHTS per set not 50 FEET.  We bought enough lights to cover three trees.  Big mistake.  So, as I type this Hubby is wrestling with the lights and the tree.  I'm not sure who is winning.  Tomorrow I will hang my head and return seven boxes of lights to the Target.  We bought all the lights in this style the store had.  Hopefully they won't place an order to replace the stock we drained yet.  Glad we didn't opt to buy a new tree instead.  Oh well, at least I can smile.  My tree is up - FINALLY!

Are You on "The List"?

'Tis the season to be jolly.  Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la!  Today is a better day!  I am here starting to write out my Christmas cards.  I've made a list and checked it twice and . . . what?  96 CARDS?  I am sending out 96 cards?  When did this happen?  I'll admit I added a few people this year but not more than ten tops!  When did my Christmas card list get so out of control?  So, I looked at the list again.  Ok.  Ok.  Ok.  Ok.  Wait.  Who is this?  Oh, that's right - my mom's best friend's mother.  Yeah that's right.  She's on my Christmas card list.  She sends us a card (and even a gift card for our daughter) every year.  I can't not send her one.  Then I realize.  If I can't bring myself to cut out someone I met once in my life, there's no point in even going through the list.  I try not to let it discourage me and forge on.  That's it.  The end.  There is one cousin that I got a random card from last year that I had added to the list who will not be getting a card this year.  I never talk to her.  Honestly I don't know why she even sent a card.  But outside of her, everyone stays on the list.  There are family members, friends, service providers and even a few people I haven't talked to in years but can't stop sending a card to.  But it makes me wonder - what is the ettiquette for Christmas card sending?  If someone doesn't send you a card one year can you cut them off for next year?  I've tried this before and end up getting a card from said persons the following year.   Nix that theory.  I can't possibily get a card without sending a card in return. However if there is no justified reason to cut someone off of your list, how do you keep your list from growing exponentially each year?  But I'll buck up and get my six boxes of cards addressed and signed and out in the postal system soon.  The real problem is when I think about the cost of postage - it doesn't make me feel very jolly at all.

I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas

So.  We live in Suburbia but we own a house we are trying to sell/rent in Next Town Over.  Ok.  Whoever it was that stole all of the copper pipes out of our house in Next Town Over - YOU SUCK!  Thanks for leaving our basement a wet mess with no plumbing.  All for a couple hundred dollars most likely to support your stinkin' drug habit while it will cost us a few thousand of our hard earned money to repair.  Now, trip to Hometown for Thanksgiving - cancelled.  Upcoming weekend vacation - cancelled.  Thanks Mr. Copper Pipe Stealin' Meth Head!  Way to ruin our holiday season!  I hope you enjoy your fix while we deal with the police and the insurance adjustors and trying to come up with the money to replace all that you stole.  If the insurance adjustor finds it in his heart or his insurance guy handbook to help us out, it will cost us at least $500.  Who has an extra $500 laying around in November/December?  Not me, I can tell you that much.  I sure hope you have fun with your . . . no wait OUR money.  How are we supposed to sell a house with no indoor plumbing huh?  I can see our realtor now - its a lovely three bedroom with a shed converted into an outhouse.  Nice.  I'm sure we'll get top dollar for that Mr. Taking Stuff That Doesn't Belong To You Most Likely In Broad Daylight.  You already hit a friend of ours house here in Suburbia, did you have to hit our house too?  It's costing them $5000 to undo what you did.  $5000.  Five . . . thousand.  How am I supposed to come up with that AND have a decent Christmas?  Suburbia police were optimistic that they will catch you.  Unfortunately our house is in Next Town Over where the men in blue barely seemed to care.  Makes me glad I don't actually live in Next Town Over.  Oh, and if you plan on coming back, don't bother.  I'm not fixing it with copper just so you can come back and leave me high and dry again.  I hope you rot in hell!

I Can't Believe Its Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve

Its November 13th.  NOVEMBER 13th.  And the stores today were packed with Christmas shoppers.  I'll admit it.  I am one of those people who goes straight from Halloween to Christmas mode.  I love the music, the decorations, even the shopping.  I love everything about it.  Its not that I don't like Thanksgiving.  I think it stems from living abroad.  When living overseas, we had to shop early to ship everything back to the USA.  They also don't celebrate Thanksgiving in other countries so immediately after Halloween, up goes the Christmas tree.  Our Christmas tree is still not up.  The debate rages on, but it will be up before Thanksgiving if I have anything to say about it.  I have started my Christmas card list and planned out the letter it will include.  I have even wrapped my first few Christmas gifts in festive red and green paper.  I am in full Christmas spirit, but I just couldn't believe that there were almost no parking spaces left and lines of people at the cashier stand.  The shelves were well picked over and its not even December yet.  Yes, I do realize that I was one of those people out Christmas shopping today, but usually I am ahead of the game.  I like to have my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving, but I do this to avoid the crowds.  I hate throwing elbows and pushing my way through stores, fighting over this or that all while being bumped and bruised and run over by oblivious shoppers with their overstuffed carts.  This year though I was right there in the thick of it all.  Grabbing the last toy off of the shelf.  Holding onto it for dear life.  I guess next year if I want to beat the rush I'll have to shop in October since apparently November is the new December.

All I Want for Christmas

Remember as a child when you would get that Christmas gift that you didn't really want or already had or for some reason or other were not thrilled about.  Remember smiling and saying thank you and being grateful for the gift itself.  The other day we were in the Suburbia Target and I was dumbstruck by some lady - a mother actually.  She was telling her husband to make sure he got a good picture of the toy she was holding so that it would look good on her facebook.  That's right, she is going to take pictures of all the items her children want for Christmas and post them as an album on her facebook profile.  That's insane.  I mean, I guess it might be helpful in some twisted way, but really?  Then I heard on television this morning that this is one of the latest trends.  Parents making interweb birthday and Christmas lists for their children so that they get what they want.  I'm sorry but this has just gone too far.  Registries are for weddings and babies and times when you need certain items for your life, not want certain items for the heck of it.  It's ok for little Sophie and Hunter to get something that they didn't request on their birthday.  It's ok for little Matthew and Emma to get the wrong color of a toy under their Christmas tree.  With an established wish list, there is no thinking about what you want to get the child.  There is no personalization.  There is no fun in the gift giving when the gifts are pre-ordered.  And what will become of the manners of the children today when they never have to deal with a non-customized situation.  What ever happened to teaching children to be polite and thankful for the gift no matter what it is?  When I was young there was something we were taught that seems null and void in today's society.  Remember this? Its the thought that counts.  The question is if you are given a registry of gifts to choose from, don't you feel as though your thoughts don't much matter.