Learning Your Colors

I remember when my daughter was in first grade.  She came home from school one winter day and told me she had some big, important news.  She told me I probably should sit down for this.  I obeyed not knowing what to expect.  She sat down on the couch next to me and very seriously said, "Mom, there are black people and there are white people."  I stifled a giggle and then the irritation grew within me.  We had done so much hard work to raise our child color-blind when it came to people's skin.  We always lived in very multi-ethnic communities.  We never addressed people by the color of their skin.  It was always "The boy in the blue shirt" or "The woman with the baby".  We went to great effort to raise her to see people as people - not as colors.  Then she went to school.  First grade.  They were celebrating black history month and that's where my daughter learned about color.  (She probably would have learned it in Kindergarten but we had moved from another country during black history month of her Kindergarten year so she missed quite a bit.)  It is amazing how something with such good intentions can corrupt such wonderful innocence.  I have to say that that one moment was probably my most proud moment as a parent.  We had done it.  We had raised her color-blind - even if it was for only the first six years of her life.  Thanks American school system.  Thanks.

Happy Christmahanukwanzukah To You!

Today I have taken a break from all the wrapping and baking and planning and preparing to say Happy Whatever-It-Is-You-Celebrate to you!  I'm not sure with all of the excitement of the next few days that I will be able to get to blogging.  So I want to wish you, well, to be honest, a Merry Christmas.  Christmas is what I celebrate and I don't really understand what is so bad about saying Merry Christmas.  If I say Merry Christmas to someone who is Jewish are they going to slug me?  I doubt it.  If someone who is Jewish were to wish me a Happy Hanukkah, I would feel honored that they were sharing their celebration with me.  Same goes for Kwanzaa.  Same for the Winter Solstice.  Whatever you celebrate, you should be able to wish a friendly greeting to people in that time of year.  Its too hard to remember who to say what greeting to so as not to offend anyone.  Sharing your feelings of happiness shouldn't have to be politically correct.  Its all gotten way too out of hand.  My daughter came to me the other day confused.  She was wondering if Chanukah was a politically correct way to combine Christmas and Hanukkah.  After I set her straight (and had a quick chuckle), I really got to thinking about the term Happy Holidays.  I went from thinking of it as a polite way to encompass everyone's beliefs in one salutation to thinking of it as a forced means of regulating society into being too generic.  I think we've all just gotten a little too sensitive on the topic.  What's wrong with being proud of who you are and what you celebrate.  So to all of my peeps out there - Merry Christmas!  I send you a warm greeting inviting you to share in my celebration of the joy of the season.  Be proud.  Don't wimp out with Happy Holidays.  Share your feelings and if someone says "I don't celebrate that" then ask them what they do celebrate.  You may just learn something new about them and allow them to show their pride in their beliefs and celebrations.

I'm a White Polack Bitch But Only If You're One Too

I like to be politically correct.  I like to use corrent terms and address people the way they want to be addressed.  The problem in today's society is that in order to do this, you have to ask each individual person how they want to be addressed.  Each person has their own preferences.  There are people with darker skin that prefer to be called African American.  Then there are some African Americans who will tell you they are not from Africa and prefer to be called black.  I called someone an Indian the other day and drew gasps from those around me until they found out I actually meant Indian . . . from India . . . not Native American.  All of the descriptive adjectives seem to conjure up offense.  And these are only the blatent, visual examples.  It gets even harder when you take into account the adjectives you can't see.  If you know someone who is gay, and they are a woman, then they are a lesbian.  But if they are gay and a man, then they are just plain gay.  A friend of mine told me the other day that a friend of his finds the word gay offensive and prefers the word queer.  What?  And the fact that it is ok to call someone a slur who is within your own group is even more confusing.  Women can call each other bitches but if a guy utters the word it takes on a whole new impact.  If you use one term to describe a group of people of the same religion, race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation, you are bound to offend someone.  There is no such thing as politically correct anymore.  I'm done trying.  I will address people by name and if I don't know their name, I will simply point at them.  Wait.  Isn't that rude?