Pharmaceuticals of the Undead

So, I live near one of the (if not THE) counties in the country with an drug problem.  Its opiates and it is a problem.  In my opinion, not because it is killing people.  I do believe that addiction is a mental health problem and that addictive personalities need help, but I also believe people need to not try drugs in the first place so they don't get addicted.  I believe that while the second, third, or fourth time you use is not a choice, the first time is.  People make bad choices I know and while people are born with tendencies, that initial exposure is indeed a bad choice.  Anyway, the problem I have is Narcan.  I have a real problem with this life saving drug.  Not because it saves lives of people but because it is used so easily.  Someone ODs, cops bring them back with Narcan.  There are businesses in the urban area of the county next door who are having people OD in their parking lots numerous times a day because they know they will be found, the cops will be called, and they'll be saved thanks to Narcan.  I'm not saying these people don't deserve to live.  I am not God.  It is not my place to judge.  The problem I have is that if you have cancer and no insurance or limited finances to pay co-pays, cops don't show up at your house with cancer fighting meds.  Little kids with peanut allergies and other allergies can't get Epi-pens because they are upwards of four hundred dollars but Narcan is free?  What about inhalers and other medications that are required for life due to a disorder that someone is born with not a bad choice someone makes.  It is almost like rewarding people for ODing.  I just can't wrap my mind around it.  And don't even get me started on zombies.  Has no one noticed that these people OD and are brought back to life through the use of Narcan?  People are BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE!!!  They are zombies people!  ZOMBIES!  How long before those who have been saved with Narcan start craving brains?  AND NOBODY NOTICES THIS???  Whatever.  Keep using your Narcan.  I'll be stocking up on treadmills to surround my house with so the zombies won't get me.  Nothing like watching zombies fly off the back of a treadmill instead of crashing through my windows to entertain the masses.  So when the zombies, who are already living among us, come to get you, come to my house.  We'll be safe.  I even have an Epi-pen, an inhaler, HBP meds and psych meds - just no Narcan ;)

Shameless Self Promotion

After a disrupted adoption, we are in the process of attempting to adopt again.  If you would like to follow our trials and tribulations as we make our way through this process a second time, please see my other blog "The Butterfly Keepers" at www.wordpress.com/thebutterflykeepers.  Thank you and I hope to see you there!

My Office is for Pooping -or- Psychiatrist Wanted: Must Love Babies

Today sucks.  Yup.  I said it.  Today sucks.  It completely blows.  I am just sitting here wallowing in self pity and I don't care who knows.  I don't give a rat's ass.  Why does today of all days suck.  Because.  My Gram died two weeks ago and I still haven't really accepted that, yesterday I found out that my psychiatrist of ten years will no longer be accepting my insurance in a month, a person who is supposed to remain impartial has proved to be totally and completely biased in my book, and my dogs pooped in the office.  That last one is nothing new.  They poop in the office on a daily basis.  They think its their own person toilet.  I included that one because having poop in your house that you have to clean up just kind of sums up my day.  Oh, and we are apparently aren't going to see hide nor hair of a snowflake in the exciting Snowmaggedon of 2016.  I wanted to stay tucked into my house as the snow fell down all around me sipping coffee and being productive.  Instead I sit here with my eyes closed willing the world away.  (Yes, I know I have depression.)  I called the Hubs to tell him how upset I was about some of the days events and . . . nothing.  No "awwww."  No "poor baby."  Nothing.  That only added to my depression du jour.  I want snow damn it!  I have the weather channel on and they are talking all about snow in terms of feet, power outages, driving restrictions, and here - nothing but melting.  It sucks.  The only good thing about today is that I get to meet one of my bestie's offspring tomorrow.  Hopefully this gloom and funk will be over by then but if not, I will hold that baby and sniff her head (Babies smell awesome.  The head end that is.  Not the other end) and experience a moment of pure peace.  Because even if just for that moment, that little baby needs me.  That may be it.  I may just want to feel needed.  The Kid (who is about to graduate from university) informed me that that's why they give people in nursing homes with diminished cognitive capacity baby dolls to care for.  It gives them purpose.  A reason for being.  A connection to the universe.  Maybe I need to dig out my old 80's Cabbage Patch Dolls and carry them around.  I wonder if that would make me feel any better.  I also wonder if I will end up back in the "special unit" on the fifth floor.  Walking around with a doll all day.  But if I go to the "special unit" I will get a referral to a new psych doc and an appointment without the normal waiting time.  There, two birds with one stone.  Now all I've got to do is keep the momentum going.

Sandy Toes, Salty Kisses, and Butt Support of the American Revolution

I suck.  I suck, I suck, I suck.  I really want to be better at this blogging regularly but blogging occasionally is a hell of a lot better than not blogging at all.  Funny, I feel the same way about exercising as I do about blogging.  I think about it a lot, but don't actually get around to it a lot.  I saw something online today that said "I am fat because a tiny body couldn't hold all this awesomeness."  I feel this way about 50% of the time.  The other 50% of the time I wonder if chairs will hold me and if I will fit through certain places.  This was especially true on our recent vacation to Virginia Beach and Colonial Williamsburg.  The day we arrived I felt tremendously self-conscious and we didn't even put our swim suits on.  Day two I warmed up to the beach and stopped worrying about what I looked like and enjoyed myself.  I'm not very happy that there are pictures to prove this beach vacation but whatever.  When we left the beach and headed to Colonial Williamsburg, I thought I was in the clear - no such luck.  I forgot about one thing - the dreaded Colonial chair.  Not only did many of the Colonial doors into the Colonial buildings open in the middle only giving you half the Colonial doorway to squeeze through, but there were these chairs - Colonial chairs - that are historically accurate to the Colonial time period in material and construction.  Apparently, I am not historically accurate to the Colonial time period because these suckers hurt.  They were about half the size of my butt with knobs that poked in some not-so-comfortable places.  And that was just the design.  The materials used to make said chairs would creak and snap and basically make you feel like its the soundtrack to your ass falling on the Colonial floor.  But I survived and promised myself that I would get back in the gym as soon as the patella femoral tendonitis I had was healed.  That and as soon as the gym we joined was back in business after THE TORNADO!  That's right!  We joined a gym down the street and within a month I had hurt myself and shortly thereafter the gym was hit by an EF1 tornado.  Luckily, we were not there.  Even though it was our usual day and time to go, we didn't.  But I'm thinking there's no way more direct for God to say be happy with who you are first and if you then still want to change yourself - all the better - than with 100mph rotating winds.  So as the gym heals and I heal, I tried to take stock of my self-worth and self-esteem and realize that I am fine.  I like me.  No, I love me.  And I want to slowly but surely improve me - for my health and my family, not for vanity or appearances.  And if I ever find a time machine or develop a means for time travel, I will omit the Colonial period as a destination option. 

Winter 2015 Sponsored by Disney -or- I wanna Have Oprah's Butt

I need to do some soul searching.  Somehow over the course of the last year, I have become overwhelmed.  I have turned my hobby into an etsy shop, I have jumped into a new personal business, I have started doing vendor shows, I have volunteered as a lead for a major local charity event, I have a sick bird in my living room, I have a sick kid away at college, I have a dog now who has recently had surgery, I have a husband who is out of town at the moment, and I don't know how I'm going to do it all.  All of this without one of my medications because thanks to my "new, improved" health insurance plan, it costs $800.  They are trying to force us to use their ridiculous mail order pharmacy (because sending drugs through the mail is so safe.)  When I called and talked to them, they said that yes it is $800 for a month's worth of the drug.  However, they could provide me with 3 months of the drug for <drumroll please> $800.  Yes, I'm not kidding.  Plus the plan which last year was a no deductible plan, is a high deductible plan so not only am I paying more for prescriptions, I am also paying full price for every doctor visit I have.  I have no idea where this money will come from.  I wish I was like Oprah and could just pull it out my ass.  Being upper middle class sucks.  But we were poor when we first got married and that sucked too.  Maybe life just sucks in general for everyone no matter how much you have or how much you make.  I was happy.  Through much of 2013 and 2014 I was happy.  But 2015 seems to want to break me.  So I think I need to do some serious soul searching.  I need to figure out what is important to me and what I can let go.  Where my focus should lie and what I can afford to let fall by the wayside.  I just feel like I have way too many balls in the air and the fact that I take everything personally doesn't help that.  Someone honks their horn in traffic, I think they are honking at me.  Someone opposes my viewpoint and I think they just don't like me.  I doubt everything I do.  It takes an effort for me just to appear as though I'm a normal person.  I'm exhausted and I am avoiding it all by sitting here and writing this blog.  I need my medication - obviously.  I need that little pink pill to help me be like Elsa and let it go.  I can't wait till April when the generic is scheduled to come out.  Damn insurance.  Damn illnesses.  Damn expenses.  Damn people.  Damn, damn, damn.  Maybe I should just hermit away till April for everyone's damn sake.  Look out world!  Here comes unmedicated Elsa!  Maybe that's why its so damn cold and snowy around here lately.

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better -or- How Delusional Thou Art

I have a problem.  See, I see things on etsy (the online craft emporium) and I think - huh, I could make that.  I mean, it looks easy enough.  So I secretly yearn for the supplies.  I go to the craft supply store and look longingly at the materials I would need and price out the cost of each project.  I wrestle internally with rationalizing my need for this new creative outlet.  I feel held back by my lack of supplies.  I am tethered to the world of the uncreative by my inability to finance my artistic dreams.  But then, one day, I go for it.  I decide to try my hand at this new craft.  Usually I justify my purchase of materials under the guise of "I'm making it as a gift for a friend" and "It is much cheaper than buying the finished project."  The former is typically true.  I have all intentions of giving this as a gift.  The latter is also true.  If I had the talent, the project would be much cheaper than purchasing a final product.  The problem is that I know better than to believe both of these "excuses."  So today, I sit down with my clay and my sculpting tools to make a wedding gift for a friend.  It takes all of ten minutes for me to realize that this craft is going the same way as many of the other crafts I have attempted over the course of my life.  See when it comes to crafts, I am either a natural or I totally and completely suck.  There is no in between.  No grey area where the project turns out "good enough."  Its either awesome or crap and todays experiment was a big stinking pile of crap.  So I pass on the clay to my daughter to play with.  The tools will probably make it to a yard sale ten years or so in the future after living in a closet or the basement until then.  My ideas of sculpting the perfect gift are quickly thrown by the wayside.  They join the ranks of the pottery wheel, the handmade drapes, the quilt, the afghan, the cake decorating, the painting, the ceramics and all the others in my ever-growing unfinished craft project graveyard.  I should probably just stick with jewelry, card making, scrapbooking and drawing - things I know I can do.  But even as I type this, I think of the faux stained glass and the mosaic tile creations I have seen.  Surely they can't be THAT hard???  Hi, my name is quirky and I'm a delusional crafter . . .

We Interrupt Your Day for this Not So Important Message

According to my husband, I have been neglecting my blog.  I have to admit that this is true.  I want to say there is good reason for this but there really is not.  Since my daughter left for college, I have been through a sort of depression.  It wasn't my normal depression.  I didn't sleep all day and spend my waking hours crying and staring at the television.  No.  This time it totally caught me off guard because it manifested itself differently.  I became obsessed with my online shop and could think of nor do much of anything else.  I made lots of jewelry and marketed a lot.  I even sold my first piece that didn't go to a friend or family member.  But the catch here is I closed out the entire world and secluded myself away.  I didn't care about much else.  I did the minimum to get by.  I missed my baby girl.  And now I am aware of that and trying my best to change that.  I am trying my best to figure out just how life is supposed to be now.  Things are changing.  Things HAVE changed.  And they just keep changing.  Things have happened that I'm not sure I want to talk about here in public.  I mean, don't get my wrong.  I love all my blog readers but there are things that have been happened that are not mine to divulge yet they affect me in a major way.  Because of that, I am not sure what to do.  Do I break confidence or risk betrayal just to include everything honestly in my writing or do I stick to what is happening to me directly and keep what is happening to those around me and who are important in my life the secret I am sure it should be?  I am trying to get back to normal.  I have been reading again as well as posting in my book review blog.  I have written a few letters.  I should call some people that I promised to call and do lunch with but I'm just not up to it yet.  I was going to volunteer but that didn't work out.  I tried to tell one place that I was interested in volunteering.  They gave me a pamphlet and told me to call a phone number.  What do you mean here's a pamphlet, call the number?  I'm standing right here in your facility.  So I kind of gave up on that.  I am feeling a little worthless right now.  Mostly because I am not bringing in any money.  For some reason that makes me feel worthless.  That and the rental house that we own but can't live in because of me is sitting empty and sucking our bank account dry.  Another thing that I feel is my fault.  My hubby says its nobody's fault but then why do I feel like crap about everything.  I am hoping to be able to figure out how to continue my blog while being depressed and maintaining confidentiality.  So please forgive me for neglecting you and I hope that you will hear from me again soon.

I'm QuirkyMe and I Approve This Message

I can't believe what transpired this afternoon.  I was just sitting around on facebook looking at my newsfeed when another bit of political "humor" appeared.  The person (at the time, a friend) who posted the picture had been posting things similar to this for days if not weeks.  It was bashing the candidate that they are against.  Not my cup of tea but if that's the way you want to express yourself, who am I to judge.  The problem arose when a friend of mine made a comment stating her opposing opinion.  Said person immediately began an argument with her.  She continued bashing the opposition calling the candidate an "idiot".  I agreed with the commenter so I "liked" her comment.  They went back and forth again.  I "liked" the commenter's comment again.  She had valid points.  The conversation quickly took a nasty turn but only on one side.  The person who posted the picture was belittling and accusing and many other not-so-nice things.  I was appalled.  This person who I thought was a friend, was verbally attacking another friend - a friend I agreed with.  I have never seen cyber-bullying before but I definitely witnessed it today.  The attacker's friend joined in and together they tag teamed my friend until she was at a loss for words.  She stood her ground as best she could but the harassment was just too much.  She tried numerous times to politely end the conversation but those two mocked her until she felt compelled to speak up for herself again.  Eventually it ended and my friend (the commenter) realized that the attacker had blocked her and deleted her as a friend.  Then I realized that she had done the same to me.  Guilty by association I guess.  I don't know.  All I know is these were grown women.  When I think of cyber-bullying, I tend to think teens but now I know better.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion and agreeing to disagree (as my friend had suggested) is a means not of backing down and admitting you are wrong but respecting another's opinion.  These people had their opinion and everyone else was wrong.  What happened to freedom of speech and freedom of choice.  There are other opinions than yours out there and it is rude to think otherwise.  I am still in shock as to what happened.  To unfriend someone over their political opinions.  Hello, I was reading your political crap for weeks before this whole incident.  And what happened to supporting the candidate that you want to win instead of just bashing the one you don't like.  I just don't understand hate.  I will not hate this woman because of what she did.  It confuses me and baffles me but I will not hate her.  Judgement is something I leave to my God.  It is God's place to be the one to judge not me.  All I know is I won't hate her but I won't tolerate her bullying either.  Bullying has no place in this world.  Find another way to feed your desire for power.  If its this bad with grown adults, I can't even begin to know what teens and children deal with.  And for them there is often no way to unfriend someone.  They often have to deal with their bullies every day, day after day.  So if you are being bullied know that it is not right.  Speak up and speak out.  Tell someone.  Even adults bully and get bullied.  You are not alone.

Insert Jeopardy Theme Music Here

I am sitting and waiting.  God I hate waiting.  I am waiting for some woman to call me back.  Waiting for a phone call.  Quite possibly the worst kind of waiting.  I also hate health insurance red tape and snooty doctor's office employees. I would say that I hate health insurance but they keep things from costing like a million dollars so I don't hate them, I just hate their red tape.  Let me start at the beginning.  My daughter went to see a specialist who wanted to refer her to another specialist.  So after much schedule juggling (they told me initially that they couldn't get her in before she left for school), we went to see this other specialist on Wednesday.  We sat in the office for about 45 minutes just to have a woman come out and tell us that she couldn't be seen because they didn't have a referral.  Even though when I scheduled the appointment, I asked the person if they had the referral and she said yes.  Then the woman changed her story and said well we didn't have the right kind of referral and that it had to be from her PCP anyway.  So we drove to the PCP's office and stood there while they made the referral.  I also asked them to call and make me another appointment to avoid being told again that they couldn't get her in before she left for school.  They made the appointment for the next day because like the other specialist, the PCP thought she should see the new specialist right away.  So, Thursday we go to the new specialist again.  When I get there to check in and give my daughter's name, the same woman from the day before jumps up and literally runs over with our file to state that we still don't have the right kind of referral.  I said that we got one from the PCP and she said it still wasn't right.  I stated that we stood there while they did it and I didn't know what more to do.  Then this nice lady offered to call the PCP's office and explain to them what was needed.  She came back and assured me that Lori at the PCP's office would be calling me but that we couldn't see the new specialist until after Lori had called because then it would be covered by our insurance.  I asked if I would have trouble rescheduling before my daughter left for school and she said that her name was Kathy and I was to ask for her when I called if there was any trouble.  So I waited all day yesterday for this Lori to call.  I waited all through this morning for Lori to call.  Lori never called.  So at 11 am I took it upon myself to call insurance.  They said that the referral was good as of Thursday afternoon and that we were good to go see the new specialist.  So I called the new specialist's office and was told she can't have an appointment until the end of September.  I told the woman on the phone that I was told to ask for Kathy if there was a problem with the scheduling.  She said maybe I meant Chris and I said no, I mean Kathy and she said well Kathy is out to lunch right now but can I take your name and number and have her call you back?  I gave her my name and number.  Its 1 pm.  Apparently they take really long lunches at that office because she still hasn't called me back.  Oh and did I mention that the PCP is on vacation next week so its not like his office will be able to help me get an appointment.  This whole thing is just one big mess.  My hubby already called his HR department to find out if we could switch to a PPO (where you choose your doctors and specialists, it just costs more) instead of our HMO especially since our daughter will be going away to college and won't have access to her PCP to get referrals and such.  They said that moving to college was not a life change so we would have to wait until the next calendar year to switch to the PPO.  They said that if she were a spouse who was going from part-time emplyment to full-time employment or vice-versa that those circumstances are considered a life change but not moving to another state away from your family (and PCP).  That's not a life change at all.  Whatever.  So I wait.  I hate waiting.  She's not going to call is she?  She is never going to call and I am going to have to call them back again and go through the whole process over again.  Have a nice vacation PCP.  I'll just be here waiting.  Have a great three hour lunch Kathy.  I'll just be here waiting.  Have control over my life health insurance company.  I'll just be here waiting.  No.  I'm not waiting anymore.  I'm calling again because if you want something done, you have to be forceful and push or people just walk all over you or forget about you.  That's it.  I'm calling again.  No more waiting for me. . . . Ok, I'm back.  I got an appointment and she said that I needed to call my insurance to have them fax the referral approval to the new specialist's office.  I called insurance.  They don't do that.  They said they do things electronically and that I would have to call the PCP's office to get that done.  I called the PCP's office and they said they are doing it.  I will call back to the new specialist's office to confirm that they have it on Monday.  Good Lord!  Finally, all my ducks are in a row.  Thank you ducks.  Thank you for finally lining up even though getting you there was more difficult than herding cats.  Don't ask where I got that comparison from.  It's been a long week.  At least I'm done waiting :)

Operation Recuperation

I only have one thing to say this fine Monday morning.  Boy was yesterday tiring: physically, emotionally, psychologically and about any other -ically you can think of.  My head hurts.  My legs and feet hurt.  My pocketbook hurts.  See yesterday was the famed party portion of what I have affectionately dubbed Operation Graduation.  It was great to see friends and family again.  The kid had a great time and that was the most important part.  The worst part came when we went to pick up the "catering" at the local Mega-Super-Mart (I won't point it out by name but it starts with a W and ends with -mart.)  We had ordered two large trays of chicken and two large and two small trays of sandwich rolls to be picked up at 10:30 a.m.  This gave us ample time to load the car and get to the facility we had rented beginning at 11:00 a.m. to set up for the party starting at noon.  We arrived at the Mega-Super-Mart deli area and I stated I was there to pick up the order for "My Last Name".  The lady handling the chicken  looked up and smiled as she put the finishing touches on our chicken trays.  The lady I was speaking to looked at our order and said "Oh, you want sandwich rolls too.  Guess I should start making those."  WHAT !?!?!?!?  It was time for us to pick up our order and they hadn't started making it yet!  I waited appoximately fifteen minutes before I had to go open the facility and left Hubby and The Kid (aka The Graduate) to wait for the ridiculously tardy sandwich roll trays.  See Hubby has abundance of patience that I do not posess.  After half and hour, Hubby called me to notify me that one of the four trays was complete.  ONE!!!!!  I informed Hubby to return that tray to the deli and leave the Mega-Super-Mart and we would call to get pizzas in place of the sandwich roll trays.  Half an hour later, after the deli worker insisting that she was almost done with tray number two, the eternity wait in the check out line and the drive to the facility, Hubby and The Kid arrived at the party with fifteen minutes to spare.  They were short a sandwich roll trays and we were short four helping hands in the set-up process.  The real kicker here - the trays they did give us weren't even right.  One was the wrong type of sandwich roll!!!  Whatever.  I was just glad we had something to feed our guests and they arrived just before the pizza order was called in.  Talk about luck.  Apparently, at the Mega-Super-Mart they have confused the word "tray" with the word "try".  I ordered "trays" and their response on that day was to "try" to make them for me.  The big difference here being the letter "A" - a grade that I would not give them for their service.  Their letter grade would be a big, fat "F"!

Seriously? Are You Kidding Me?

Sorry its been a bit since I blogged.  I had some ideas for various blogs and maybe I'll revisit those in the future but what got me off my lazy ass and typing today is that my frustration level is through the roof.  If you've been following along over the last year and a half or so, my family almost adopted a young lady from a state that's Far Away.  We didn't go through with it because she had family in Far Away that claimed they wanted to adopt her.  Even if they didn't formally adopt her, we didn't feel it was right to move her to Suburbia.  (Please see previous posts for the whole heart-wrenching story.)  Well, today I found out that said family members with whom she was living have declared that they no longer want her and she has been moved to yet another foster home.  WHAT???  I can't believe we called off our adoption to keep the girl close to family that pulls this kind of crap.  You can't just change your mind like its a sweater you bought at the mall and want to return.  This is a child we are talking about here!  She is a HUMAN BEING with feelings and emotions and . . ugh!!!!!  I have spent the morning texting with her and I just don't know what I can do to help.  I thought Far Away Child Services sucked before, now they officially super suck in my book.  How could this all happen to someone who has already been through so much in life?  Where is the fairness in that?  It seems that in dealing out crappy situations that God could spread the wealth around a little bit.  So now she sits in yet another foster home and I sit here and feel helpless.  It honestly makes me want to call the Suburbia Child Services and see if the adoption attempt can be reinstated.  I don't even know if that's possible but hell, I could do a better job helping her than any of the people in Far Away could.  Maybe getting as far away from Far Away as she can would be a good thing for her.  I hate feeling helpless.  Today is the first day of my "I'm-not-employed-any-more" celebration.  If I hadn't quit, I would be at work right now but instead of enjoying it, I am in a state of mental distress over this whole thing.  I love this little girl.  Even though we didn't officially adopt her, I still consider her family.  It hurts me that another member of my "family" is hurting.  I worry about her and what she may do if she gets too depressed.  She has been through a lot in her young life - more than most of us will go through in an entire lifetime and right now I just want to scoop her up and bring her here and show her what a semi-normal, loving family is like.  Guess I'll spend the next few hours just being frustrated and depressed until hubby gets home so we can talk about this whole situation.  Fun day.  Things like whether or not to quit my job and weight loss seem so insignificant when you get the sudden view of the big picture of life as I have gotten today.   Here's hoping I can come up with a solution.

USPS BS

A friend of mine was telling me a story the other day of his most recent trip to the post office.  He said that there was a line of eight or nine people (when isn't there).  The postal employee called the next customer in line and the woman walked to the counter.  The customer needed one hundred sheets of stamps.  Yeah, you heard that right, one hundred sheets of stamps.  No problem right?  Wrong.  This is the post office.  Things are not supposed to be smooth and easy - let alone quick.  You would think that the employee would punch in the number 100 and then scan a sheet of stamps.  But that's out in the real world.  This was the postal realm where things are not as they should be.  No, the employee begins to scan each individual sheet of stamps INDIVIDUALLY!  After she had scanned in about twenty individual sheets of stamps, the line of people waiting began to get antsy and aggitated.  Noticing this, the postal employee stopped what she was doing and explained to the line that she had to do the transaction this way because if she did it the other way, the transaction was would be too quick.  Then when they do their studies of postal productivity, it would show how fast they were capable of going and the excess slack at the post office would be cut if not needed.  Yeah, you heard that right as well, the postal employee was telling them that she had to go as slow as possible in order for all the people at the post office to keep their jobs.  Are you kidding me?  I mean, we all knew they were slow but admitting it outright to customers.  That just takes the cake.  Nothing like a governement agency that is boasting about their inefficiency.  They are a monetary drain and a financial liability.  Instead of wanting to be productive and show their worth, they are determined to ban together in an inefficient union to protect each other.  Screw the mail and their customers.  The post office is slowly becoming obselete but at least they are consistent and becoming obselete slowly like everything else they do.

I'm Starting to Charge $1 a Mile -or- Teamwork Schmeamwork

I am the Suburbia Taxi Company.  I don't mind driving my daughter and even her friends around but it just bothers me when something happens like happened today.  My daughter was supposed to meet another girl at the school to work on a project (they are currently on Spring Break).  Anyway, my daughter gets a call from this girl two minutes before we leave saying she doesn't have a ride.  She said her dad was going to come get her but someone walked into his office at the last minute so she now had no ride.  Could we come and pick her up?  I only work part-time so that I can be here for my child when she needs me which includes rides to places.  Because I don't work full-time, we don't live in a nice big house like this girl whose parents both work full-time.  But she assumes that because I am available to take my daughter that I am available to take her too.  Maybe this is just my annoyance du jour but I was really peeved.  Once in the car, the girl took a call on her cell phone which was from her dad.  From the conversation it was evident that she had not even asked her dad for a ride until today at the time she needed it.  The problem here is my daughter didn't have the supplies to do the project herself.  Why do they even do group/partner projects anyway?  The only thing I ever learned from doing a group/partner project in school is that you can't count on the other people in the group to do what they say they will do.  Oh, I take that back.  I also learned that people like to do nothing and claim other people's work as their own to get that good grade.  My daughter just finished another project where she did the entire thing herself and the partner got an A for doing nothing.  I think teamwork should be abolished. It should be every man for himself.  Why is it that we responsible people always have to go that extra mile?

The Unanswerable Question

How do you throw away a trash can?  Yes, I am seriously asking this.  We have an old trash can that we want to get rid of.  So the other day, we (ok let's be real, it's Hubby that puts out the trash) Hubby put out the can.  He put out old standing fan in it as we were throwing that out as well.  We had loads of recyclables and a can full of trash too.  But when all was said and done, both our good trash can and our old trash can remained.  So I ask the question, how do you throw away a trash can?  Next week, I am going to put a sign on the front of it that says "This can is trash.  Please recycle." and hopefully they will take it.  If not, I don't know what else to do.  Just like I don't know what to do about that crazy relaxation breathing therapist.  She called on Tuesday and left a message saying she got my cancellation message and to call her to reschedule.  I, of course, expecting her to call let it go to the machine.  I luckily did the same thing again yesterday when she called back again.  She left a similar message as the one on Tuesday asking me to call so we could reschedule.  My question with her is - Don't you get the hint lady?  I cancelled my appointment and now I'm not calling you back to reschedule.  Get it.  I don't want to talk to her again so I'm not calling her back.  Hopefully she'll stop calling.  In the meantime, I have been prepping my online store for its launch on Monday.  I'm excited and nervous but I really feel this is the next step for me.  I've kind of hit a wall though.  See, before I can list any items, I have to verify my Paypal account which requires me to input two deposit amounts from my bank account.  So, Hubby went out to get those numbers for me but we were unfortunately stumped by the security question "What was the name of your first pet?"  After three tries, it of course locked up.  So Hubby journeyed to the bank and they voided out the question saying that only our second question would appear.  So Hubby tried again and apparently we don't remember where we went to high school (even though we both went to the same one) because we got that one wrong too.  So today Hubby is going back to the bank to straighten things out.  In the meantime, I wait impatiently to start the next phase of my life.  Thank goodness the bank didn't ask "How do you throw away a trash can?" as their security question.

What's Next? Picturing my Happy Place?

I went to therapy again today.  This time she wanted to teach me relaxation breathing and I figured I had already paid my $25 co-pay so I should probably give it a chance.  I was open to the idea until she said she encourages her clients to lie on the couch in her office and participate in the exercise.  I couldn't do it.  I just couldn't do it.  Something about lying on a couch in a psychologist's office was just too cliche for me.  I felt like I would have been a satirical cartoon not a reality so I told her I wasn't comfortable with that and that I would just sit up.  I was proud of myself for standing my ground but it made me wonder again if this is the right fit for me therapy-wise.   And I can't help but feel that going on a weekly basis is a huge step backward from my monthly basis I had previously worked up to.  I am used to talk therapy.  I go in.  I talk about my life.  Problems emerge.  I get guidance on how to deal with them.  I go home.  Simple process, right?  Apparently not because that's not the way this lady does it.  I don't know.  Maybe we'll get to the talking part after the relaxation techniques are over.  The problem with that is she shared with me today that there are four, yes FOUR relaxation techniques she would like to work on with me. And she only wants to focus on one per session.  That's an entire month of relazation techniques.  I just want some basic plain old talk therapy.  That's it.  No elaborate psychoanalysis.  I just can't get past the the fact that dealing with my therapist gives me stress.  Maybe I should use my breathing techniques before I go to therapy.  Ah, the irony of it all.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round - Except in Suburbia

Wow!  I can't believe that January is half over and I have only blogged on here twice this month!  Having bronchitis didn't help but honestly, there hasn't been that much happening that I've felt the need to share.  I went through a bit where I didn't want to just air out my frustrations on here but when I decided not to do that I realized I didn't have much else to say.  Oh well.  I guess its back to venting my frustrations.  Today, I shall tackle the Suburbia school district.  See, their tax levy didn't pass back in November.  Their solution to saving money has been to eliminate all bus service for the high school and require all students within a two mile radius of the school to walk to the middle school.  There are plenty of other misappropriated funds that they could move around in my opinion but nobody asked me and this is what they decided upon.  Nice huh?  So now every day, I have to get up, get dressed (who am I kidding, I go in my jammies), and take the child to school.  Then in the afternoon, I have to go pick her up.  Life will continue every stinkin' day like this until she graduates in June!  That is a long way off and a heck of a lot of dropping off and picking up.  It wouldn't be that bad if she wasn't one of approximately 2,800 students getting dropped off.  This has created quite the traffic hassle.  I have to go at like 2:30 p.m. to get in place to pick her up at 3:05 p.m.  Nothing like wasting a half an hour.  But not tomorrow!  No.  Tomorrow is "Wisdom Tooth Day" mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Yes, tomorrow our daughter is getting her wisdom teeth out.  I really don't know what to expect.  My two wisdom teeth came in and then I had one removed.  Still  have the other one.  Hubby had his out as an adult.  I remember him eating lots of mashed potatoes and jello but I think I have blocked out all the bad stuff.  I am nervous by proxy for tomorrow.  I saw a piece one time on Dateline or something where this guy had his wisdom teeth out and he lost basically all of his mental capacity.  I know, I know.  That's a once in a lifetime story and I shouldn't be afraid of that actually happening but I'm a mom and that's what I do.  So tonight, we will take our non-bus-riding daughter out to eat super crunchy food for dinner and swing by the grocery to load up on jello, mashed potatoes, soup, mac & cheese, and anything else that doesn't require much chewing.  Hey, at least she'll be off school for a few days so I won't have to deal with driving her.  See, there's always a silver lining.

"We are Orange & Blue and God Loves Tebow More Than You!"

I am probably about to piss off a large portion of readers but I just have to say it.  I hate Tebowmania!  Like the guy.  Think he's a great football player.  Am sickened by the bandwagon that is praising him for his praising the Lord.  Calling an NFL win a miracle is an insult.  They didn't win because he prayed for them to win.  They won because the overtime rules were not sufficiently changed to minimize a single posession win.  Simple enough.  There was no miracle.  They won the coin toss.  They had first chance.  They won the game.  End of story.  I did not see the hand of God come down and complete the pass.  I'm sure there were players on both teams who were silently praying up a storm for the win but do you really think God has time to manipulate the outcome of a football game.  Forget the wars and famines, we got a game here boys. Why would he choose to listen to Tebow over say a child asking to be cured of cancer?  And it wasn't until after Denver won the game that I saw Tebow on one knee thanking God.  Tell me.  Would he have been down on one knee thanking God for the opportunity he had to play if his team hadn't won?  I can't but help think not.  While I think he is indeed grateful and thankful, I also think he exploits his spirituality in front of the cameras.  We never heard about the blatently praying quarterback when he was playing college football - at least I never did.  Did he not pray then or did the news media just not care about it then?  Either way, I hate to see spirituality used in that way.  If you want to pray, don't make a spectacle of yourself.  Its not a show. Its a personal relationship with God.  But then again, I'm not exactly the evangelical type.  Maybe I'll go to hell for speaking bad of Tebow.  I just hate seeing people praise a person instead of God and that seems to be what is happening.  Besides, I thought God was a Steeler fan?

Thank You God for These . . . Um . . . Well . . . Er . . . Gifts?

Last night we went out to eat (big surprise there) to one of the three local steakhouses.  We were seated in a booth in an empty section.  A large party was quickly seated right next to us.  They had a booth with a small table pulled up next to it and another booth across from that.  There were two more booths behind those ones and there was still room to get around the table so that potentially, they could seat more people there.  The thing that really bugged me is this blond in stiletto boots shows up and she's got a cake and a wrapped gift the size of a small SUV.  Are you kidding me?  She takes the gift and puts it on one of the booths behind them and then puts the cake on the other - thus taking over an entire section of the restaurant.  The hostess even brought people over there to seat them in the gift/cake booths only to find that they were already occupied by the cake and the gift.  My thing is - who the hell did this woman think she was?  I just don't understand people that are that egocentric.  This is a public restaurant.  You have not hired out a banquet room to celebrate a birthday party.  And they brought their own cake!  The restaurant serves dessert.  Why didn't they just buy everyone dessert instead of bringing their own food from home?  I wouldn't go to meet someone for lunch at a restaurant and take a sack lunch with me!  I know it can be hard to find a time and a place to get everyone together for celebratory gatherings but if you want to have a cake from home, here's a thought - HAVE IT AT HOME!  Luckily we were finished with our meal before the gift opening began.  I'm sure they would have wanted our booth to put the ripped up wrapping paper on.  Or better yet, we could have been background for their photos like at the restaurant last week where the woman in the next booth took a flash picture of everything her baby did.  Why do I always get stuck next to "God's gift to the world"?  God, if your listening, I speak for the world.  What is your gift return policy?

12 for 12

My thoughts have been rather scattered lately.  My ADD is in overdrive and with the holiday fast approaching, this is not a good thing.  So today I've decided I'd give you a taste of what goes on in my head.  In honor of 12/12, here are 12 things that have been on my mind.

12.  Why is my house so hot in the daytime?  I'm talking like Jamaica hot.  If we turn the heat down then we are too cold later in the day.  It could just be me but I'm too young to be getting hot flashes.

11.  How did we get so much Christmas stuff?  It seems like Hubby just keeps bringing more and more of it up from the basement.  I have no idea how we have accumulated so much . . . well . . . Christmas crap.  Its festive and I love it.  Its just that there isn't room in our tiny townhouse for it all.

10.  Why is it that every time some little bitty thing goes wrong at our house in the next town over that we are renting out . . . anyway, why do they call property management every time?  Instead of checking the fuses, they just call and say that the indoor garage opener isn't working.  Fine.  Check the fuse and if that's not it then DEAL.  You still have two garage door openers and the keypad on the garage.  Its a one car garage.  Do you really need that many ways to access it?  I swear when I agreed to give these very young boys a chance, I should have realized they were spoiled rotten.  If you asked me right now if I would renew their lease in 2012, the answer would be NO!

9.  I think we may be a mite-free home.  They seem to be gone.  Fingers crossed.  Knock on wood.

8.  I am getting very restless at my job.  I don't know why.  Its not hard.  Its just annoying.  I can't imagine having the commitment of a career and working full-time, but I feel like I want more.  I really should get into this writing a book thing that I keep thinking about.  What harm would it do?  Maybe after the holidays.

7.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  Maybe if I say it enough times, I will be ok with it.  She has gotten into the College Down the Street.  She even made it into their honors program.  I know that she will get into others and I am not looking forward to having to help her make this decision.  Choices like which Christmas gift to buy are hard for her because of her OCD.  I can't begin to imagine the drama this decision is going to come with.

6.  Am I blogging just for my own mental health or does reading my blog actually keep people informed on my life and maybe even help them with their problems?  (If nothing else by showing them that we all have problems.)  This blog has quite a few followers but I haven't gotten a new one in quite some time and my other blog http://www.myliteraryopinions.blogspot.com/ only has 5 followers.  It gets more hits than that but only 5 followers is kind of a bummer.  I wonder if I should keep them going?

5.  What am I going to mail my Grandmother's Christmas gift to her in.  I have it wrapped and ready to go in a shirt box.  A typical shirt box.  I wanted to send it Priority Mail so I got one of their mailing boxes.  The one referred to as a shirt box.  The only problem is their shirtbox is about 3/4 of an inch shorter than my shirt box.  Come on people.  A shirt box should be a shirt box.  When will the world get its act together and have uniform standard sizes?

4.  What else can I get my daughter for Christmas?  I have some gifts and some ideas but need more.  If you come up with any, you can comment on this blog.  I just won't post your comment so she doesn't see it.  What would you want if you were a 17 1/2 year old girl?

3.  How come if according to the movie "Fred Claus" when Santa becomes a saint, he and his whole family stop aging and freeze at the age they are at but then in the movie "The Santa Clause 3" he and his wife have a baby how could that happen according to the rules of Santa from "Fred Claus"?  Hubby says they are just movies but I am thinking this is an important thing to kids and what would I say if a random child should ask me?  I think Hollywood should get it together on their Santa lore.

2.  Where am I gonna find the money in our budget to pay for our trip to Hometown between Christmas and New Year's?  I really shouldn't be worrying about this because Hubby took over the budgetting for the year so technically I am giving myself one more month off before I start doing it again but I can't help but worry.  The hotel is like $160 per night.  We are looking at two or three nights.  We don't have that kind of a chunk of change just sitting around.  Besides, if we did I would have already spent it on Christmas.

1.  Is my Grandma ok?  Last week she broke her leg and had to get a rod put in place of the bones between her knee and ankle.  Its times like this when its really hard to live 5 hours away.  I know that my being there wouldn't really do anything except maybe make her smile but I just wish I was.  Calling on the phone just isn't the same.  I miss my Gram.

There you go.  A roller coaster ride through my mind this Christmas season.  I will make my best effort to have my next posting be a more cohesive thought process.  I promise.

Goodness Gracious God All-Mitey

I am caught up in a major catch 22.  See, our middle bird (I call him the middle bird because we got him second out of the three and because he literally sits in the middle between the other birds) has mites.  We believe they are red mites.  Between the interweb and its wonderful wealth of contradicting information and the clueless girl at the vet's office, we are pretty much on our own trying to figure this one out.  We don't want to use any of the over the counter sprays or "traps" because one site said that they have been known to kill birds.  We were told by our local bird experts that they won't transfer from one bird to another without direct contact between the birds, but the chick at the vet's office said "Yeah, your other birds can probably maybe get it I think."  (She was really decisive <insert eye roll here>.)  He did receive a treatment for mites from our local bird experts while he was "vacationing" at their place over Thanksgiving.  The trouble is that they don't seem to be going away.  We clean the cages, perches and toys but the mites are still on the bird.  If we give the bird a treatment, we can't wait till the mites are all gone before we put him back in the cage.  The mites won't all drop dead at the same time because they didn't get the memo that that would be the most convenient procedure for me.  What to do?  What to do?  I should be thankful.  At least they don't transfer to people . . . that I know of.  <furious paranoid scratching>