We Interrupt Your Day for this Not So Important Message

According to my husband, I have been neglecting my blog.  I have to admit that this is true.  I want to say there is good reason for this but there really is not.  Since my daughter left for college, I have been through a sort of depression.  It wasn't my normal depression.  I didn't sleep all day and spend my waking hours crying and staring at the television.  No.  This time it totally caught me off guard because it manifested itself differently.  I became obsessed with my online shop and could think of nor do much of anything else.  I made lots of jewelry and marketed a lot.  I even sold my first piece that didn't go to a friend or family member.  But the catch here is I closed out the entire world and secluded myself away.  I didn't care about much else.  I did the minimum to get by.  I missed my baby girl.  And now I am aware of that and trying my best to change that.  I am trying my best to figure out just how life is supposed to be now.  Things are changing.  Things HAVE changed.  And they just keep changing.  Things have happened that I'm not sure I want to talk about here in public.  I mean, don't get my wrong.  I love all my blog readers but there are things that have been happened that are not mine to divulge yet they affect me in a major way.  Because of that, I am not sure what to do.  Do I break confidence or risk betrayal just to include everything honestly in my writing or do I stick to what is happening to me directly and keep what is happening to those around me and who are important in my life the secret I am sure it should be?  I am trying to get back to normal.  I have been reading again as well as posting in my book review blog.  I have written a few letters.  I should call some people that I promised to call and do lunch with but I'm just not up to it yet.  I was going to volunteer but that didn't work out.  I tried to tell one place that I was interested in volunteering.  They gave me a pamphlet and told me to call a phone number.  What do you mean here's a pamphlet, call the number?  I'm standing right here in your facility.  So I kind of gave up on that.  I am feeling a little worthless right now.  Mostly because I am not bringing in any money.  For some reason that makes me feel worthless.  That and the rental house that we own but can't live in because of me is sitting empty and sucking our bank account dry.  Another thing that I feel is my fault.  My hubby says its nobody's fault but then why do I feel like crap about everything.  I am hoping to be able to figure out how to continue my blog while being depressed and maintaining confidentiality.  So please forgive me for neglecting you and I hope that you will hear from me again soon.

Six Pounds of Happiness

I'm here again to keep everyone updated on . . . well . . . everything.  The girl that went missing from Far Away has been found.  I don't know much beyond that she is back home and says she is fine.  The man she was with, whether voluntarily or not, has been arrested.  He wasn't dumb.  He didn't take her across state lines so that it wouldn't be a federal issue.  But she's home and that's what is important.  Now hopefully child services in Far Away will get on the ball and put her someplace where she will be monitored and supervised better than she has been before.  As for the home business, I am learning tons.  See apparently the site I am using to sell my wares is kind of like a cult for some people.  These are the people who have thousands of views of their items.  They join teams and promote each others work whether they like it or not.  I'm not really down with that.  I've join a few teams to promote my stuff and to help others promote their items that I like but I'm not going to blindly promote someone just because they are in my group.  They also have these, for lack of a better term, buying trains.  They make groups within the teams and all buy off of each other.  Good because you sell stuff but bad because it is going someplace where it may not be appreciated.  I would rather know that my stuff is going to a good home than to sell just for the sake of selling.  There are codes and names for stuff and cliques and all kinds of stuff.  Its a little scary to be honest.  Some people really get into it.  I have benefited from learning about these games, clubs and abbreviations but I have to draw the line somehwere or I will go crazy and be on the computer all the time.  Not something that I really desire.  Something I do desire however at the moment is dinner.  Yeah, its only 3:30 but I am soooooo hungry.  Hubby and I have been doing this calorie counting app and it seems to be working.  After three weeks of doing it, I got on the scale and was 6 pounds lighter.  Yay me!  The problem now is that I am convinced it was a fluke and I am afraid to get on the scale again and see that I am right back where I started.  Don't think I could handle that.  Oh, and the lady who took over for me at my old job called me twice yesterday to ask me basic beginner office type questions that she should have been able to figure out on her own.  Oh well, maybe they'll realize what they had now that its gone.  I will no longer be answering the phone when private caller numbers call.  It could be her asking me what to do when her pen runs out of ink.  Lol!  Really.  They were that level of question.  I swear.  So, to recap - one girl home, one girl skinnier, and one girl lost in officeland.  Got to go.  Hubby is home and that means I can eat dinner.  Yes, I know that dinner at 4 p.m. means I should be over the age of 70 but I don't care.  See ya later!

The Unanswerable Question

How do you throw away a trash can?  Yes, I am seriously asking this.  We have an old trash can that we want to get rid of.  So the other day, we (ok let's be real, it's Hubby that puts out the trash) Hubby put out the can.  He put out old standing fan in it as we were throwing that out as well.  We had loads of recyclables and a can full of trash too.  But when all was said and done, both our good trash can and our old trash can remained.  So I ask the question, how do you throw away a trash can?  Next week, I am going to put a sign on the front of it that says "This can is trash.  Please recycle." and hopefully they will take it.  If not, I don't know what else to do.  Just like I don't know what to do about that crazy relaxation breathing therapist.  She called on Tuesday and left a message saying she got my cancellation message and to call her to reschedule.  I, of course, expecting her to call let it go to the machine.  I luckily did the same thing again yesterday when she called back again.  She left a similar message as the one on Tuesday asking me to call so we could reschedule.  My question with her is - Don't you get the hint lady?  I cancelled my appointment and now I'm not calling you back to reschedule.  Get it.  I don't want to talk to her again so I'm not calling her back.  Hopefully she'll stop calling.  In the meantime, I have been prepping my online store for its launch on Monday.  I'm excited and nervous but I really feel this is the next step for me.  I've kind of hit a wall though.  See, before I can list any items, I have to verify my Paypal account which requires me to input two deposit amounts from my bank account.  So, Hubby went out to get those numbers for me but we were unfortunately stumped by the security question "What was the name of your first pet?"  After three tries, it of course locked up.  So Hubby journeyed to the bank and they voided out the question saying that only our second question would appear.  So Hubby tried again and apparently we don't remember where we went to high school (even though we both went to the same one) because we got that one wrong too.  So today Hubby is going back to the bank to straighten things out.  In the meantime, I wait impatiently to start the next phase of my life.  Thank goodness the bank didn't ask "How do you throw away a trash can?" as their security question.

Look Out World, Here Comes Superwoman!

I am on an upswing!  Must be a few good bipolar days for me or something because I have made so much progress yesterday and today.  Yesterday I woke up in a funk.  I could practically see the dark cloud over my head.  It was awful.  I felt hopeless.  I felt despair.  I felt totally useless.  I called my boss and took a mental health day from work and then I talked to a great friend online and did something I didn't know I was going to do that day.  I chucked the new therapist I had been seeing.  That's right.  I kicked her to the curb.  I called (lauckily getting her answering service) and cancelled my appoinment for Friday.  It was like the heavens opened and light was shining down on me.  All of a sudden I had this huge weight lifted off my back that I didn't even realize was there.  I had been dreading my next appointment and now that I had scrapped that I was free.  I called a new therapist and explained to her that what I am looking for is talk therapy not behavioral stuff and she said she will be happy to talk to me.  She even got me in within the next two weeks.  I was light as air at this point so I asked myself, what else do I want to do and have been putting off?  So I started today to set up my online shop.  I have enough  necklaces to start one and can make more if I need to but I thought today is the day.  So I went onto the site and set up shop.  It was a lot harder than I thought it would be but I am determined.  I have no items in it yet and probably won't launch it until next week.  But I am doing it damn it!  I am going to be happy!  I've even decided to get healthier and Hubby has agreed to jump on the bandwagon.  We are going to do the "Couch to 5K" program.  I have a friend that did it and another friend who is currently doing it so it has a realistic look to it.  I just hope I can ride this high long enough to see some improvements in my life.  So, now in addition to being a blog about a girl who is switching therapists, it will also be a blog about a girl attempting to shed some pounds and start her own business.  See - a little bit of something for everyone.  I aim to please!