Shameless Self Promotion

After a disrupted adoption, we are in the process of attempting to adopt again.  If you would like to follow our trials and tribulations as we make our way through this process a second time, please see my other blog "The Butterfly Keepers" at www.wordpress.com/thebutterflykeepers.  Thank you and I hope to see you there!

Missing the "Mommy Days"

 OMG!  I just dropped my daughter off for her last day of high school - EVER!  I can't believe it.  Its just not quite sinking in.  I will never drive my daughter to school again.  After all those times when I complained and thought of how I would rather be sleeping in, I'll never do it again.  I feel almost numb about it.  On one hand I am happy because I will get to sleep in.  On the other hand she has grown up way too fast.  When I dubbed 2012 "The Year of Change" I wasn't really thinking of all the changes that were coming that were beyond my control.  My daughter wants to get a job for the summer and there is part of me that hopes she doesn't find one.  There is a part of me that wants to spend the summer with her just hanging out and enjoying each other's company.  But once again, that is part of my delusional little world.  If she is here all summer with no job, we will most likely get on each other's nerves and under each other's skin.  A shame really considering I consider this her last summer of being a kid.  This is it.  In the fall she'll go off to college and BOOM - adulthood hits.  I look back at the years past and they are full of wonderful memories but now that will change.  There may not be family vacations.  There may not be weekends with pajama days.  I guess everone with children goes through this at some point but I can't help but think it is harder on those of us with only one child.  If you have more than one, when the first one goes off to college you still have the others at home and by the time the last one goes off to college you are already a veteran of the process.  For those of us with one child it hits us extra hard.  Right now I am trying to figure out how and when this actually happened.  When did I get so old that I have a child going off to her last day of high school?  Nothing like adding to my mid-life crisis.  I am going to hit 40 hard next year.  In the meantime, I have to figure out my new identity since I will no longer be mommy.  I will always be a mom don't get me wrong but those "Mommy Days" of her needing me on a daily basis are quickly drawing to a close.  "Mommy Days" - how I will miss you!  So if you have kids, hold them, hug them and hang onto those "Mommy Days".  The time when they will be spreading their wings and leaving the nest will be here before you know it.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round - Except in Suburbia

Wow!  I can't believe that January is half over and I have only blogged on here twice this month!  Having bronchitis didn't help but honestly, there hasn't been that much happening that I've felt the need to share.  I went through a bit where I didn't want to just air out my frustrations on here but when I decided not to do that I realized I didn't have much else to say.  Oh well.  I guess its back to venting my frustrations.  Today, I shall tackle the Suburbia school district.  See, their tax levy didn't pass back in November.  Their solution to saving money has been to eliminate all bus service for the high school and require all students within a two mile radius of the school to walk to the middle school.  There are plenty of other misappropriated funds that they could move around in my opinion but nobody asked me and this is what they decided upon.  Nice huh?  So now every day, I have to get up, get dressed (who am I kidding, I go in my jammies), and take the child to school.  Then in the afternoon, I have to go pick her up.  Life will continue every stinkin' day like this until she graduates in June!  That is a long way off and a heck of a lot of dropping off and picking up.  It wouldn't be that bad if she wasn't one of approximately 2,800 students getting dropped off.  This has created quite the traffic hassle.  I have to go at like 2:30 p.m. to get in place to pick her up at 3:05 p.m.  Nothing like wasting a half an hour.  But not tomorrow!  No.  Tomorrow is "Wisdom Tooth Day" mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Yes, tomorrow our daughter is getting her wisdom teeth out.  I really don't know what to expect.  My two wisdom teeth came in and then I had one removed.  Still  have the other one.  Hubby had his out as an adult.  I remember him eating lots of mashed potatoes and jello but I think I have blocked out all the bad stuff.  I am nervous by proxy for tomorrow.  I saw a piece one time on Dateline or something where this guy had his wisdom teeth out and he lost basically all of his mental capacity.  I know, I know.  That's a once in a lifetime story and I shouldn't be afraid of that actually happening but I'm a mom and that's what I do.  So tonight, we will take our non-bus-riding daughter out to eat super crunchy food for dinner and swing by the grocery to load up on jello, mashed potatoes, soup, mac & cheese, and anything else that doesn't require much chewing.  Hey, at least she'll be off school for a few days so I won't have to deal with driving her.  See, there's always a silver lining.

Pssst . . . Santa . . . It's Room 104

The saying goes "you can't go home again" and I've decided that is true for me and my family.  We will be going to Hometown for Thanksgiving and between Christmas and New Year if weather permits but we will not be going for Christmas proper.  We will be spending Christmas Eve and Day here in our own humble abode.  After chatting at length with Uncle Fantastic, I came to realize that the experience I wanted my daughter to have didn't really exist anymore.  There was no sitting around the table on Christmas Eve.  It is now done buffet style.  Not that that's a huge change but it made me realize that what I experienced as a child was my childhood, not my daughter's.  Her childhood and holiday traditions involved myself and her dad.  Just our little family of three.  We have our own Christmas Eve party where we gorge ourselves on junk food and play games and/or do activities.  (Last year it was a Wii tournament.  This year's activities are craft-centered.  Just what Hubby was hoping for!  Yeah, right!)  We have done this for years.  Why should I deny her the Christmas traditions she knows just to try to relive my past.  I don't know if they even break the small sheets of blessed wafers at my grandparents house anymore and well, she's too old to crawl under the table when she's finished and tickle everybody's feet.  Besides, the dog does that now anyway.  She needs to stay rooted in her norm - our traditions.  Next year, she may be off to college and coming home for Christmas and that home will be here in Suburbia, not back in Hometown.  This IS her Hometown whether I want to accept that or not.  She grew up here.  This is what she knows.  So while I will be sad for a moment missing another Christmas Eve with my family, I will embrace the fact that I will be having Christmas Eve with My Family.  Besides, how does Santa know what hotel room number you're in anyway?  Not a risk I want to take.   :)

Lost and Found

Why is it that when you need something you can never find it?  Or maybe its everything you lost is something you need?  Because if it was lost and you didn't need it, would you even realize it was lost?  Either way, we had to make an emergency shopping trip today to get an orange shirt.  See, my daughter's senior pictures are tomorrow.  One of the outfits we had planned was black pants and an orange top (her school colors) to be worn in the picture with her color guard flag.  So of course, we couldn't find it.  We looked in the laundry room, the laundry itself, her closet, her floor (she is a teenager) and even my closet.  That orange shirt was not to be found.  I know when it will turn up.  About dinner time tomorrow.  After the photo session.  I have to admit, I am extremely nervous about this photo session.  More nervous than if I were the one getting my picture taken.  That's because I'm the one that has to pay for the pictures.  That part I am not looking forward to.  $60 for an 8x10.  And we need three 8x10's to begin with.  That's a lot in my book.  So I'm nervous that these pictures won't turn out perfect because if I'm gonna pay that much for pictures, they need to be perfect.  We are supposed to take about eight or nine outfits of which the photographer will pick the four best ones (for photographic purposes.)  They said no white, no pastels, no short sleeves.  That ruled out over half of her closet.  I have news for him, we are bringing clothes that are short sleeved and - gasp! - even some prints.  We had to go out and get some pieces to complete a few outfits and ended up spending over $100 easy - and that was before the pictures!  Then we had to think about jewelry and shoes and hair and make up and then she got sunburned last Thursday so we're hoping her nose isn't peeling tomorrow.  Jeez!  Oh well, I guess that's the price you pay for having a teenaged daughter!  Wouldn't trade her for the world though - unless of course you hold the secret to where all my missing things have gone.  Then we'll need to talk :)

The Unicorns Save the Day - Again!

I tend to overreact.  I admit it.  When I hear something my mind immediately goes to the worst case scenerio.  Upon hearing news, I pick up the glass that was half empty and dump the rest of it out.  Prepare for the worst.  That's my motto.  If your standards are so low, then you are most likely to be pleasantly surprised when things go even slightly better than awful.  My hubby calls it being paranoid.  I prefer to call it being preparanoid.  Because of my outlook, I am usually able to handle whatever life throws at me.  Like today when my daughter called at 8:00 am and told me that we still owed the band/colorguard program at the school $100 and they would be putting an academic hold on her grades until we sorted things out.  Great I thought!  What could be worse than finding this out on the last day of school!  I, the queen of the disorganized, had no idea where the check carbons were or even where the bank statements were!  How was I ever going to prove my being a proper parent and paying the outrageous fee?  Leave it to my hubby to fix everything.  In the land of lollipops, unicorns and rainbows there is not such thing as a crisis.  To my pessimistic surprise, everything was rectified by noon and we were on our way to have lunch with our senior.  Yeah, today our daughter officially became a senior.  She was delighted and petrified at the same time.  Thrilled to be a senior, she has repeatedly expressed her desire not to grow up.  I love my little Peter Pan and assured her that she has some time before she has to grow up.  Because honestly, she's not the only one who isn't ready for it.  I just hope before the time comes for her to enter the real world,  that I have joined my husband and his ability to expect the best.  Look out unicorns, here I come.

Cannonball!

Ok peeps!  I am finally back.  After our visit from Frontrunner was set for this week and then cancelled Monday of last week, she actually came Thursday of last week with less than 48 hours notice.  What a roller coaster!  Things went well during her stay and tears were shed when she left yesterday.  It looks like this may really work out.  Provided there are no surprises, she should be coming to live with us at the end of June.  Her visit here allowed us to be more at ease and thus more ourselves which helped contribute to everyone being more comfortable.  She and our daughter got along well.  Our daughter said to me at one point "Mom if there's something she does that I don't like or agree with, I just think of you and Uncle Crazy (my brother).  You two don't like all the same things and don't always get along but that's what having a subling is about."  Quite insightful for being raised an only child.  Frontrunner has decided to change her name - first, last and middle.  New name, new start.  She will be taking our last name - something that makes us very happy.  There will be much teaching and guiding and modeling to be done but she was showing signs of accepting a positive influence.  It will be a change.  There is no denying that.  But the change is one I think we as a family can handle.  We as a family meaning all FOUR of us.  Here I go again, jumping in the deep end but at least this time I got to dip my toes in the water first.  Now I feel like its me jumping and not being pushed in.

Snow, Swimming & Broken Hearts

April Fool's Day and I just got back from sitting in a hot tub watching the blustery snow fall outside.  Nice April Fool's Day joke mother nature.  Real funny.  We were supposed to be leaving Faraway today but thanks to about a foot of snow that continues to fall, we get to spend an extra day (in the pool once again) with our Frontrunner - who I might add is our only candidate.  At this point after driving for three days, meeting her and spending constant time with her for the past 48 hours and the next 24 as well, if this does not go through and actually happen, I don't know if I could start the process again.  We are hooked.  She has melted our hearts and we wish we could take her home with us tomorrow.  We checked and, well, we can't.  This will be the hardest part.  Leaving her here.  We have to wait about three weeks till it is her turn to visit us in Suburbia.  Then we have to wait a good two months for her to be able to move down to live with us.  We think that it would be better for her to move down sooner.  She could finish out the year in the Suburbia Middle School and make some new friends before she gets lost in the shuffle of the monster beast that is Surburbia High.  We thought it might be easier than her waiting until her school lets out at the end of June, but her worker says the dreaded red tape can't happen any faster.  Frankly, I think it is mean to say "Here is your new family for three days.  Now say goodbye to them.  Its ok.  You'll see them again in a few months."  But that's how the child welfare system works in this country.  Fractured and broken.  There will be tears tomorrow.  I am sure of it.  She has already asked us to take her home with us when we go.  At the mention of our leaving, she gets quiet and withdrawn and depressed.  I know the people on her team are professionals who are supposed to have her best interest at heart.  I just hope someone listens to what she actually wants.  I hope her voice gets heard above all of the political din.

I Got an A in Muppets Mom

What is going on with our education system?  My daughter is watching 80's videos as an assignment for her history class.  Huh?  What?  Yeah.  Watching videos for homework.  This particular teacher just doesn't understand the meaning of the word HISTORY.  Granted, technically history is anything in the past.  But you'd think for high school students that would mean wars and presidents and dates, but no.  This teacher thinks Recent US History is the same as Pop Culture.  I think pop culture has its place - maybe as a class in say, college.  But high school kids should be learning the fundamentals of history.  My daughter can't tell me who the president was before Ronald Reagan but she knows all about one hit wonders of the 80's.  They have had quizzes with questions like "Who is the founder of the muppets?" instead of questions about the Vietnam War or Desert Storm.  One assignment had them watching YouTube videos of 1970's Saturday Night Live Skits.  It was a huge challenge for Hubby and I to even find some that were appropriate for her to take to school.  Let alone help her to relate the skits to things happening in the 70's.  In the 70"s was birth through 7 years old for me.  I don't remember much from that time period.  I was busy with Barbies and Playdoh.  The point here is this - they say you should learn history so that you don't repeat it.  At this point, my daughter may be too dependent on foreign oil, involve herself in disputes outside the US and vote people into positions of power who don't have a clue what they're doing, but she will never wear neon colors, listen to Devo, or see cheezy 80's movies - other than the one she had to do the report on.

A New Twist on Technology

I don't know what your idea of happiness is but mine happened today.  Today, on facebook, I received a friend request from - drum roll please - our Front Runner!  I checked my facebook quickly before dinner and there it was.  A friend request of the greatest kind.  I was thrilled.  I was scared.  I was so very, very nervous.  Of course, I accepted right away.  But what to post on her wall?  What do you say?  You want the first words you say to your potential new daughter to be profound and meaningful.  So I went with "Hello".  I thanked her for the friend request and told her I couldn't wait to learn more about her and get to know each other.  I also told her to feel free to ask me anything.  Not very profound but heartfelt and, I hope, meaningful.  I'm still nervous.  What if she doesn't like us?  What if she turned us down but is just curious about us?  I am still a nervous wreck.  With each step we take in this adoption, I think "This is the hardest step" only to get to the next step and think "What was I thinking?  This is the hardest step."  I don't know if it will get any easier but I know that what we are doing is what we are supposed to be doing.  I don't know how I know, I just do.  With each step I hope to get less nervous and scared.  But with each step, I end up more nervous and scared.  I feel like I'm in junior high again wanting the popular kids to like me.  All I want is for her to like me, like us.  Once I know that maybe I will be less scared and nervous and all that will be overcome with just happiness.

What? Its not a baby?

We are adopting an older child, a 13 year old child to be exact, and what I want to know is - why is this an issue.  The main issue I have is that there is a total lack of support for this type of adoption.  Take announcements for example.  When you have a baby or even adopt a baby , there are numerous places where you can get birth or adoption announcements.  I was excited when I heard this thinking I would be able to get some for when we finalize our adoption.  Wrong.  I checked into numerous websites that advertised adoption announcements.  What they should have advertised was adoption announcements for children under the age of 5.  I'm not sure how my new daughter would feel about adoption announcements with duckies or booties or a stroller on them but that's what they've got.  I guess I'm on my own to figure out how to share our big news when the finalization date comes.  Even some friends and family are a little lacking in their enthusiasm.  I don't know if they are worried we will be getting "damaged merchandise" or what but it would be nice to feel the warm fuzzies I know I would feel if it were a baby we were having or adopting.  Another example would be the shower factor.  While I understand a baby comes with a need for many specialized things, teenagers don't exactly come with their own set of everything they need.  We will need sheets, blankets, etc. to provide a nice place for our new teen to live.  Everything we already have is basically in sets of three.  We will have to get more bath towels, more pillows, and even things the child may be lacking like more clothes.  Seeing as she will be coming from a different state, she will most likely need some climate appropriate clothes.  And I'm not just looking for someone else to foot the bill.  We have purchased a new bed and a new dresser and numerous other things already.  Just the idea of a party to introduce the new child to the family/community would be a welcome idea.  I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this but when you have a baby or adopt a baby there are a dozen people waiting to throw you a shower.  Nobody says a peep about throwing a shower for an older child.  Nobody is chomping at the bit to throw a welcome party.  We will be having a party but it will be us having the party.  But as usual, we will find a way.  We will find a way to make this family addition as celebratory as possible.  But we will most likely be doing it on our own.  Why am I surprised?  This just falls in line with so many other things in life for me.  I just have to take the bull by the horns and as Tim Gunn would say "make it work."

Success ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! And Now the Scary Part . . .

I am officially a mom-to-be again!  No, I'm not preggers so don't even ask.  Yesterday, we had The Big Meeting about our Front Runner.  It went wonderfully.  Everyone was in agreement that it sounds as if our family and Front Runner are a great match!  Woo hoo!  The search is finally over!  No more hunting for potential new daughters.  No submitting our homestudy just to be told no.  This is it!  We even finished the video we had to make of ourselves.  Imagine someone telling you to make a video of yourself and giving you basically no guidelines but you know that this will be the most important video you ever make in your life.  It was tough.  What do you say?  It turned out to be ok I guess.  It is reflective of who we are and hopefully it won't scare Front Runner away.  (fingers crossed)  Today after wrestling with our scrapbook to get it to fit into a box, I mailed off our personal information to be shown to Front Runner next week.  I have never been so nervous in my life!  What if she doesn't like us?  What if she doesn't want to come live with us?  What if she thinks we are just a family of big old goobers?  While I am happy that the homestudy-getting-rejected part of the process is over, I have now realized that the biggest most important rejection could possibly happen.  I am scared.  All she has to judge us by is a scrapbook and a twenty minute video.  How is she supposed to decide based on that?  But I guess we decided on her without ever meeting her.  We didn't see a video.  We didn't get a scrapbook.  Yet we know she is the right one for us.  Hopefully she will get that same feeling.  It's strange to think that I have two daughters.  One is just a couple of states and a technicality away.  Wow!

Sex Education: The Musical Version - The Sequel

As many of you will remember from my January 13, 2011 post "Sex Education: The Musical Version", I was rather furious with City Playhouse for their lack of a warning on a musical being performed there.  The musical contained a song about a specific private male bodily function to put it mildly.  I was not sure I was comfortable with my daughter hearing this song so I sent them an e-mail asking that they send me my tickets so that I could either sell them or give them away.  After nearly two weeks without hearing anything, I got Hubby to call the box office and find out what was happening.  He explained that we wouldn't be able to attend the performance and City Playhouse quickly offered to cancel our tickets and issue us gift certificates for a future show.  Great!  This was a wonderful solution!  So we waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . and yesterday in the mail we got . . . (wait for it) . . . OUR TICKETS!  Not gift certificates as promised but our tickets!  Hubby no longer wanted to go and I couldn't go without him even though I had mellowed out to the show content.  With four days to go before the performance, the likelihood of us finding someone to buy/take the tickets seemed slim to none.  Our daughter was busy through this whole incident texting her BFF with a blow by blow description of our dilemma.  Then BFF told her mother and they offered to buy the two adult tickets.  Cool!  We unloaded them at a price of two for one.  Now with only a student ticket left we were considering our options when BFF invited my daughter to join her mom and her with the extra student ticket.  Nice.  Thanks BFF.  Torn on whether the content would bother her, I allowed my daughter  to listen to said song on the computer to see her reaction.  Naive mother that I am, she was totally okay with it (there were even a few giggles).  So now on Sunday, Hubby and I will sit at home while our daughter goes with BFF and her mom to the show with the song that I didn't want her to hear in the first place.  Ironic ain't it?

Say Cheese! III - Finally

First off, let me apologize yet again.  I broke my promise to you and didn't blog yesterday.  The truth is I was distracted by two things - 1) it snowed here in Suburbia for the first time this year and 2) my daughter's school picture retakes finally came home.  The snow was just flurries but enough to get me excited.  I am always thrilled by snow unless it is laying on the roads and I have to drive through it.  Then snow sucks.  But more importantly, the photographers finally brought the school picture retakes to Suburbia High.  Daughter was excited to get them until she saw them.  She says she looks drunk.  I don't think they are that bad, but I can see where she's coming from with her opinion.  They're not the best pictures she's ever taken.  They're not the worst pictures she's ever taken.  The photographers did their job.  Her eyes are open.  She appears to be smiling or talking.  (We can't decide which.)  And most importantly her hair is a normal color and not like a shamrock.  She seems disappointed in them but they're school pictures.  What do you want?  There's a reason these people aren't award winning photographers shooting magazine covers and superstars.  They're here to snap a picture and move on to the next child.  I give them credit.  They do take a couple of thousand pictures in one day when they go to Suburbia High.  They can't all be Vogue-worthy.  Do I think I got my moneys worth?  By school picture standards, yes.  By actual bang for your buck, no.  But it's a picture of my baby girl so it means the world to me.  Now I just have to cut, sign, sort, and stuff them into the Christmas cards so I can get those out of my living room and into the overpriced postal system.  Oh joy!

Nacho Average Lunch

So today I had a girl's lunch with my daughter.  It was wonderful.  We bundled up and headed out to the local Mexican place and had us some south of the border grub.  We chatted about this and that and just about everything you can think of.  It was nice because there was no reason for it.  There was nothing to celebrate except us being us.  Relationships are work and the relationships we have with our children are no exception.  What does it tell your child if you are having lunch out with friends on a regular basis yet never have lunch with them?  And I'm not talking about grabbing a McCheeseburger and fries on the way home from the dentist office.  I'm talking real sit down with a waiter, takes longer than 20 minutes meal.  One on one interactive time.  No cell phone, no television, no distractions what-so-ever.  Just good old fashioned conversation.  You get to know your kid in a way you didn't before.  You get to see them in a new light.  While having lunch with my daughter, I realized what a capable, grown up young woman I have.  She has a good head on her shoulders.  It hit me especially hard when the waiter asked if it would be separate checks.  Wow!  We looked like two girlfriends out having lunch!  That's exactly what I wanted.  And yet at the same time I don't.  It means she is growing up and I'm not quite ready to let go yet.  Thank goodness I have at least another year and a half of girlfriend lunches till I have to deal with that and for that I say gracias!

The Wild Mouse is not a Fun Ride

I'm back!  After a weekend of computer dysfunction, I am once again able to put my thoughts into blog form for others to read, ridicule and/or relate to.  Hope you didn't miss me too much. 
Well, we took my daughter out to practice driving once again yesterday.  She has had her temps since October and due to scheduling conflicts and an early dusk (we figured we'd stick with daylight first) this is the third or fourth time she has been driving.  She had driven around the parking lot at a local vacant business and the high school at first.  When we first put her in the driver's seat, she asked "Which way do I turn it to start it?"  Yes, that was her actual first question.  No joke.  Nothing like upping my confidence in you baby girl.  After a quick lesson in how to start a car and a quick lesson on changing gears, she slowly inched forward and drifted about twenty feet.  She was then prompted to brake which led to a testing of the seat belt restraints.  After much more drifting, reversing and one scary moment when the gas was mistaken for the brake, we called it quits and headed home.  The second trip was a little better.  Then tired of making loops with no obstacles and hoping to go above 10 mph, I graduated her to the street.  She did ok.  Typical student driver.  We did go over 10 mph.  We went 15.  But for a first time driving on a road with other cars, she did really well.  Then yesterday, Hubby demoted her back to the parking lot.  He said he wanted her to get a better feel for controlling the car, but I think her confidence took a hit in the meantime.  She seemed more nervous than she did driving around the neighborhood and was right back to where she was when she first started driving.  I shut my eyes (to avoid becoming sick in the backseat) and we looped and looped and looped the parking lot.  With my daughter's style of sudden braking, it was like riding the wild mouse at the amusement park.  Turn, turn, turn, jerk to a stop.  Turn, turn, turn, jerk to a stop.  I think next time we go out, I'll insist on the roads in the neighborhood.  I think it does a lot for her confidence and her skills.  I know it is a lot better on my stomach.

Excuse Me, Brittany, Could You Pass the Breadsticks?

And on a lighter note - Yesterday, we went out to dinner.  A last hoorah before we begin our self-imposed Five Weeks to Financial Betterification.  We do this.  We find ridiculous reasons to justify eating out: buying a new car, getting a good report card, starting a diet, or in this case, cutting ourselves off from wreckless spending.  But all of that will change with our Five Weeks to Financial Betterification plan (details soon to follow).  Anyway, we went to the Olive Garden to celebrate the ending of The Never-Ending Pasta Bowl (ah, the irony).  We no sooner got seated in the restaurant than we noticed the staff rearranging numerous tables in our room.  Great, a large party will be joining us.  And not just any old large party, we were lucky enough to get a party of teens on their way to the homecoming dance.  Oh, the joy.  They got seated and reseated and changed seats one more time.  All the while their tacky expensive dresses just skimming our table.  Who knew the Madonna look was making a come back?  The Olive Garden is not a small restaurant but apparently with teenagers their is no such thing as personal space unless its their own.  It started off well enough but then the volume level raised.  We had to shout to each other to be heard and of course, the moment we shout is the moment they pause making us look like "the loud talkers."  Then another table of classmates arrived and the inter-table conversations began.  Wait, it gets better.  Then came the pictures.  Sometime in the near future there will be pictures, most likely all over facebook, and I will be in the background in the numerous stages of pasta eating.  Now I know what Lindsey Lohan feels like . . . no wait . . . I was sober.  Now I know what Paris Hilton feels like.  I was living the Lady Ga Ga song "Paparazzi".  All in all a perfectly good evening was turned into a rushed gobbling of angel hair, eye rolling and trying to look unaware of the camera without looking stupid.  My hubby came up with a great idea.  There should be a database.  It should list all of the local high school activities where the children dress up and pretend to be adults.  Then we would know not to go out on those days.  They could even link it to the restaurant websites.  Easy access.  So next time you see me, you may be surprised.  Who knows where I'll pop up in a photo or what kind of pasta I'll be eating.  Thank God we're cutting ourselves off.  Why couldn't we have done it one day sooner?