And Then, There Were Two

I did it.  I drove my daughter to University and left her there.  omg!  I can't believe that I actually did this.  I am a bit numb at this point.  I have to admit that I cried but I was lucky enough to be able to hold that in until we got to the car.  I wanted to turn around and go back the entire way home.  But I didn't.  I did it.  She texted numerous times while we were returning to Suburbia saying how she missed us and I just couldn't express with words just how much I missed her too.  I had to be strong.  I didn't want to be.  I wanted to say "Do you want mommy to come back and get you?"  But I didn't.  I assured her that she will do well, she will succeed and she will be okay.  It feels like someone has ripped my heart out and tossed it aside.  I am spent.  I didn't sleep at all last night and with good reason.  I didn't want to sleep.  I just wanted to sit and watch my baby sleep.  Creepy, yes.  Sappy, yes.  Did I do it, no.  But I wanted to.  We spent the day with her - setting up her room, picking up her books, getting her post box set up, but when it came time to leave - we left.  There were parents who didn't.  There were parents who lingered and stayed simply because the college can't kick them out.  But we did what was right.  We left.  It was what we were supposed to do as parents.  We weren't supposed to hang out and make it harder on her.  We weren't supposed to stay and get in the way.  We weren't supposed to make other students sad that their parents had left and jealous that we had stayed as some did.  We left.  And now we are here.  Here at home.  And it just isn't the same.  It will never be the same again.  She will always be my baby girl but now she is an adult.  I am the parent of an adult child.  Wow.  So that leads me to - me.  Now what?  It will be hard tomorrow when Hubby returns to work and I am here all alone.  No kid to drive to work or pick up from work.  No child centered errands to run.  No evening of hearing about the perils of the daycare toddler-keeper.  It will be hard when I come across things - a book left here, a water bottle left there - all reminding me that she's no longer here.  I will probably cry more.  But then I will smile because I know that she is doing what needs to be done.  She is going for her goal.  She is making me proud.

From Talking to Stalking in Five Easy Calls

Ok.  Here's the deal.  Remember that therapist that I was seeing.  Well, she called.  Then she called again.  Then she called another time.  Then she called this past Friday.  Then she called this morning.  She is just not getting the hint.  Actually, its not just a hint.  Its what is obvious.  I am not calling her back therefore I am not interested in seeing her any more.  End of story.  Stop calling.  At this point what she is doing constitutes harassment and if she calls me again I will categorize her as a stalker.  I am glad that I didn't stay with her as a therapist and establish any type of relationship beyond the initial few meetings.  If she thinks I owe her after just those few meetings, I'd hate to see what she feels about her actual patients.  I owe her nothing.  She keeps saying she wants to know what my plans are.  My plans are not to call her back and to get on with my life.  I have a new therapist and I am happy with her so far and even if I was thinking of coming back to you, your relentless calling would have stifled that idea.  Can you say creepy?  That's what I am living through at the moment.  She is going out of town tomorrow so I may call her answering service and leave a nice blunt message with them that she cannot misinterpret.  But then again, I don't feel I owe her anything.  I don't have to explain my plans or intentions to her.  I am not coming to see her anymore.  What else is there to understand?  Whatever.  We are on our way in a few minutes to go to the back to discuss student loans and parent loans for that matter.  I'm not looking forward to this but it has to be done if we are going to finance our daughter's education.  Actually, if I take the money that the stalker ex-therapist wanted me to spend seeing her weekly and put that money toward my daughter's education, I may get it paid off sooner than I thought.  Here's hoping.  Everyone wish me luck and send me a dollar :)  lol

I Got an A in Muppets Mom

What is going on with our education system?  My daughter is watching 80's videos as an assignment for her history class.  Huh?  What?  Yeah.  Watching videos for homework.  This particular teacher just doesn't understand the meaning of the word HISTORY.  Granted, technically history is anything in the past.  But you'd think for high school students that would mean wars and presidents and dates, but no.  This teacher thinks Recent US History is the same as Pop Culture.  I think pop culture has its place - maybe as a class in say, college.  But high school kids should be learning the fundamentals of history.  My daughter can't tell me who the president was before Ronald Reagan but she knows all about one hit wonders of the 80's.  They have had quizzes with questions like "Who is the founder of the muppets?" instead of questions about the Vietnam War or Desert Storm.  One assignment had them watching YouTube videos of 1970's Saturday Night Live Skits.  It was a huge challenge for Hubby and I to even find some that were appropriate for her to take to school.  Let alone help her to relate the skits to things happening in the 70's.  In the 70"s was birth through 7 years old for me.  I don't remember much from that time period.  I was busy with Barbies and Playdoh.  The point here is this - they say you should learn history so that you don't repeat it.  At this point, my daughter may be too dependent on foreign oil, involve herself in disputes outside the US and vote people into positions of power who don't have a clue what they're doing, but she will never wear neon colors, listen to Devo, or see cheezy 80's movies - other than the one she had to do the report on.

How Great Thou Art

Today I had a wonderful conversation with a friend on what makes art art.  It all started with him asking me if I would be offended as someone who was raised Catholic if a crucifix was used in art.  Apparently there was a recent exhibit where a video media piece was removed because of complaints.  It had a shot of a crucifix with ants covering it contained in the piece.  I answered "It would depend.  First off, it is your choice to view the art.  If you don't like it, walk away but don't enforce your opinions on others.  Let them form their own opinions.  Art is art in the eye of the beholder.  Personally, if it is used in art with a purpose versus simply used for mockery and shock value then it would be ok, but if it is defiling the crucifix in some way I don't think I would agree with that unless the artist had another reason other than just defiling the religious object.  I believe each artist has a responsibility to create something that conveys something whether that be a message or an emotion or whatever.  Not that I think all art should be blatantly labeled or have an accompanying explaination.  I believe that art is an experience and each individual may get something different out of seeing that piece.  In turn, I think the viewer has the responsibility to educate himself on the art/artist hopefully prior to forming an opinion.  How do you know that which you are personally feeling will be the emotion or whatever invoked in others upon viewing the same piece?  You must consider the artist's intent.  When the responsibility of the artist to convey something and the responsibility of the viewer to educate themselves meet, that is the point where you find really great art.  Maybe that's why it is easier for someone to enjoy a Monet versus a Kandinsky - the Monet, being more blatant than the Kandinsky, is more easily conveying a message or an emotion to the viewer because the viewer can easily identify what is being conveyed.  When you take away that easy identification do you lose some of the viewers - yes because there is no way for them to relate to the piece unless they have done their homework or have a personal connection that they are making of some sort.  Would you feel that same why about a Monet if it were given a different title?  A more ambiguous title maybe?  Would you have a greater appreciation for abstract art if you knew more about why it was created or what it's purpose was expressed in the title?"  So the next time you go to a museum, pick out a painting that you just don't get, something that just doesn't speak to you, and do a little research on it later on.  You may just view the piece in a whole new light.