Involuntary Nastics at the Gym

Well it finally happened.  I dreaded it.  I tried to avoid it.  I even had nightmares about it.  I actually fell off the treadmill at my gym.  It happened simply enough.  My phone was in the holder on the machine.  I hit a button and went to move my hand back and caught the wire of the ear buds.  My phone tumbled to the running belt.  Of course, my instincts kick in and I try to grab it but since I am incapable of doing two things at once, my feet stopped walking.  Within a half a second, I realized I needed to keep walking but it was too late.  By that point I was flailing with one arm and holding onto the side of the machine with the other.  I let go of the side, stopped flailing, and just let myself be ejected off the back of the machine.  I must have kicked my phone at some point because it was still on the treadmill and was ejected after me.  The entire time I was thinking "I can't believe this is happening."  Luckily, or was it by divine intervention, I was able to stick the landing.  I managed not to fall on my ass.  My niece would have been proud of my "nastics" moves but I highly doubted anyone else in the gym would be appreciative of them.  I looked around and saw everyone in the gym, ears plugged with ear buds, continuing on with their workouts.  Even the folks at the desk didn't seem to notice.  I was grateful for this but also a bit unnerved.  I just wiped out on the treadmill in grand fashion and nobody noticed.  What if I had been really hurt?  Would someone have come to my aid?  I was in the back so I guess that helped my anonymity.  Still.  I could have used a "poor baby."  And as for not hurting myself, that train quickly left the station.  I finished my workout but my arm was hurting a bit.  As the evening went on, I became more sore in the realm of my right arm.  Today, it hurts to type this and I can't lift my right arm without the fear of vomiting in pain.  It'll be a trip to the urgent care tonight for me.  Is it sad that I know the x-ray guy at the urgent care by name?  And it's January so that means deductible time.  So I'll be paying full price for my exam and x-rays.  It'll cost more than the year long membership at my gym.  So if I had never gone to the gym, I'd have my membership money, my x-ray money, and not be in constant pain?  Sounds like the gym is the problem here.  Or is it just my lack of coordination.  Either way if I hadn't gone to the gym, like ever, I'd be a lot richer and a lot healthier.  That doesn't quite seem right.  But what's done is done and what's injured is injured.  At least I don't have to come up with a disguise to go back to the gym.  But I will be forever haunted by the idea that somewhere out there in interwebland there may be surveillance camera evidence of my treadmill dance with death.

Winter 2015 Sponsored by Disney -or- I wanna Have Oprah's Butt

I need to do some soul searching.  Somehow over the course of the last year, I have become overwhelmed.  I have turned my hobby into an etsy shop, I have jumped into a new personal business, I have started doing vendor shows, I have volunteered as a lead for a major local charity event, I have a sick bird in my living room, I have a sick kid away at college, I have a dog now who has recently had surgery, I have a husband who is out of town at the moment, and I don't know how I'm going to do it all.  All of this without one of my medications because thanks to my "new, improved" health insurance plan, it costs $800.  They are trying to force us to use their ridiculous mail order pharmacy (because sending drugs through the mail is so safe.)  When I called and talked to them, they said that yes it is $800 for a month's worth of the drug.  However, they could provide me with 3 months of the drug for <drumroll please> $800.  Yes, I'm not kidding.  Plus the plan which last year was a no deductible plan, is a high deductible plan so not only am I paying more for prescriptions, I am also paying full price for every doctor visit I have.  I have no idea where this money will come from.  I wish I was like Oprah and could just pull it out my ass.  Being upper middle class sucks.  But we were poor when we first got married and that sucked too.  Maybe life just sucks in general for everyone no matter how much you have or how much you make.  I was happy.  Through much of 2013 and 2014 I was happy.  But 2015 seems to want to break me.  So I think I need to do some serious soul searching.  I need to figure out what is important to me and what I can let go.  Where my focus should lie and what I can afford to let fall by the wayside.  I just feel like I have way too many balls in the air and the fact that I take everything personally doesn't help that.  Someone honks their horn in traffic, I think they are honking at me.  Someone opposes my viewpoint and I think they just don't like me.  I doubt everything I do.  It takes an effort for me just to appear as though I'm a normal person.  I'm exhausted and I am avoiding it all by sitting here and writing this blog.  I need my medication - obviously.  I need that little pink pill to help me be like Elsa and let it go.  I can't wait till April when the generic is scheduled to come out.  Damn insurance.  Damn illnesses.  Damn expenses.  Damn people.  Damn, damn, damn.  Maybe I should just hermit away till April for everyone's damn sake.  Look out world!  Here comes unmedicated Elsa!  Maybe that's why its so damn cold and snowy around here lately.

When I Grow Up, I Want to be an Insurance Agency

Man what a week!  I thought "Oh this week is gonna go so slow with the kid gone off to college" but it was anything but slow.  I wanted a distraction and boy did I get one.  The main focus of the week was Monday when I was innocently sitting at a red light and WHAM! got hit hard from behind.  I got out of my only-a-year-old SUV yelling "What the hell?" to find a very apologetic and scared high school boy.  He was so young he still had braces!  I took one look at him and thought of my daughter.  How would I want someone to treat my daughter if this happened to her.  So I calmed down and told him to follow me to a nearby parking lot where we could exchange information.  He was standing in the rain trying to write his name and address.  It was sad.  So I invited him to come sit in my car.  He just kept repeating "Oh my God!"  It was actually kind of humorous.  (The panic not the damage to my vehicle)  He tells me how his tires are so bald and didn't work and he can't believe how nice I was being about the whole thing.  I assured him that things happen and what's done is done, no use being mad over something you can't go back in time and change.  He had to call his mom to get the policy number.  He was just so young.  Once we had exchanged information.  He went on his way and so did I.  I went on my way to the Kroger.  This seemed to upset my hubby a little bit.  Apparently when you have an accident you are not supposed to carry on with your life.  You are to immediately report home, call insurance and stay put.  Until what?  I don't know.  But as with every other accident I have had I continued on to where I was going.  I needed tape.  Having an accident didn't change that fact.  (Oh, and it was lunch time so I grabbed some lunch at a local fast food window)  Once home I immediately called my insurance.  I tried to do that from my cell phone but it was a touch tone menu and apparently my cell phone doesn't have touch tone.  It can play Ke$ha when my daughter calls me but it can't beep so that I choose number 1.  Go figure.  Anyway, the insurance tells me that I have two options.  I can 1) call the other driver's insurance and do everything myself, or 2) pay a $500 deductible to have them handle it for me.  What?!?!?  They said they will try to get that money back from the other driver's insurance and reimburse me for the $500 but I thought a deductible was what you paid when it was your fault that there was an accident.  I have had three previous accidents.  Two weren't reported due to circumstances beyond my control and one was a "no fault" in a parking lot fender bender.  I had to pay my deductible then but my insurance was paying for the repairs.  I guess I just don't understand why I have to front the deductible when the other driver fully admits fault.  What if I didn't have that money to spare?  I'd be screwed.  I'd be stuck handling everything myself.  In which case, what the hell do I have insurance for?  I pay them a hefty sum every six months to do potentially nothing?  I don't get it.  I'm thinking maybe I need to go into the insurance business.  Collect a couple hundred twice a year and tell people they have to pay me more when they are hit or I won't do anything.  Sounds like a nice free ride to me.  The adjuster even had a fancy name for it.  Subjegation or something like that.  Just in case you were wondering that is actually pronounced "bull-shit".  Maybe I don't have enough accidents to know that this is the way insurance works all the time but seems rather fishy to me whether its just my company or the industry as a whole.  I won't name names or point fingers here but if this sounds a bit off to you and you want to know the name of my company, feel free to comment and I will share the name of this entity which is performing questionable procedures with you.  I'm nice like that.  Just ask the boy who hit me.

From Talking to Stalking in Five Easy Calls

Ok.  Here's the deal.  Remember that therapist that I was seeing.  Well, she called.  Then she called again.  Then she called another time.  Then she called this past Friday.  Then she called this morning.  She is just not getting the hint.  Actually, its not just a hint.  Its what is obvious.  I am not calling her back therefore I am not interested in seeing her any more.  End of story.  Stop calling.  At this point what she is doing constitutes harassment and if she calls me again I will categorize her as a stalker.  I am glad that I didn't stay with her as a therapist and establish any type of relationship beyond the initial few meetings.  If she thinks I owe her after just those few meetings, I'd hate to see what she feels about her actual patients.  I owe her nothing.  She keeps saying she wants to know what my plans are.  My plans are not to call her back and to get on with my life.  I have a new therapist and I am happy with her so far and even if I was thinking of coming back to you, your relentless calling would have stifled that idea.  Can you say creepy?  That's what I am living through at the moment.  She is going out of town tomorrow so I may call her answering service and leave a nice blunt message with them that she cannot misinterpret.  But then again, I don't feel I owe her anything.  I don't have to explain my plans or intentions to her.  I am not coming to see her anymore.  What else is there to understand?  Whatever.  We are on our way in a few minutes to go to the back to discuss student loans and parent loans for that matter.  I'm not looking forward to this but it has to be done if we are going to finance our daughter's education.  Actually, if I take the money that the stalker ex-therapist wanted me to spend seeing her weekly and put that money toward my daughter's education, I may get it paid off sooner than I thought.  Here's hoping.  Everyone wish me luck and send me a dollar :)  lol

Mouse Versus Master's

I got my hair cut last night and now you can really see the blue . . . I mean green, I guess.  Apparently when you put aqua blue over blond you get green.  Go figure.  I guess I learned that in elementary school.  Yellow and blue make green.  Just never thought of it in relation to hair before.  Anyway, I'm sitting on my couch typing this blog post watching a reality tattoo show.  I'm on my new laptop.  I am excited but I'm also thinking this may not be the best thing for me.  I may never leave my couch now.  I'm also having a love/hate relationship with the program that is on.  I love tattoos.  I want more tattoos.  But a couple years ago I had a doc tell me that I should never, ever get another one. He said with all of my allergies it wouldn't be a good idea and could very well make my immune system go crazy.  I had to ask one more time, so I checked with my current doc and he said the same thing.  Boooooo!  No more tatts for me :(  So I will relish my one and covet the sleeves and body artwork of others.  I am also at the moment trying to figure out a way to get to Orlando for cheap.  Since Hubby is headed that way for work, I figured if we just tack a vacation onto the beginning of it (its our daughter's spring break), it saves us the airfare for one person since his company will pick up his tab.  We have the money.  That's not really the problem.  The problem lies in that money should really go toward our daughter's education.  Especially considering that at one of the universities she was considering, our bill would be $17000 after any and all aid including her loans!  Yikes!  Sucks to be working middle class.  You get squat when it comes to higher education. It has kind of put me in the mindset of "we'll never get that much so why try?"  I have one more idea as to how to get her education funded but I'm not letting that feline out of the sack until it is over and done with and either successful or not.  So I will crunch numbers and search Kayak.com and weigh out the benefits of Mickey Mouse versus her Master's.  There really isn't much more to report from my couch.  Hey, now that I can compute from my favorite rear rest, I think maybe I'll write that novel that's in my head.  Once upon a time . . . there was this girl who never left her couch . . . except to go to Orlando :)

12 for 12

My thoughts have been rather scattered lately.  My ADD is in overdrive and with the holiday fast approaching, this is not a good thing.  So today I've decided I'd give you a taste of what goes on in my head.  In honor of 12/12, here are 12 things that have been on my mind.

12.  Why is my house so hot in the daytime?  I'm talking like Jamaica hot.  If we turn the heat down then we are too cold later in the day.  It could just be me but I'm too young to be getting hot flashes.

11.  How did we get so much Christmas stuff?  It seems like Hubby just keeps bringing more and more of it up from the basement.  I have no idea how we have accumulated so much . . . well . . . Christmas crap.  Its festive and I love it.  Its just that there isn't room in our tiny townhouse for it all.

10.  Why is it that every time some little bitty thing goes wrong at our house in the next town over that we are renting out . . . anyway, why do they call property management every time?  Instead of checking the fuses, they just call and say that the indoor garage opener isn't working.  Fine.  Check the fuse and if that's not it then DEAL.  You still have two garage door openers and the keypad on the garage.  Its a one car garage.  Do you really need that many ways to access it?  I swear when I agreed to give these very young boys a chance, I should have realized they were spoiled rotten.  If you asked me right now if I would renew their lease in 2012, the answer would be NO!

9.  I think we may be a mite-free home.  They seem to be gone.  Fingers crossed.  Knock on wood.

8.  I am getting very restless at my job.  I don't know why.  Its not hard.  Its just annoying.  I can't imagine having the commitment of a career and working full-time, but I feel like I want more.  I really should get into this writing a book thing that I keep thinking about.  What harm would it do?  Maybe after the holidays.

7.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  My daughter is going to college.  Maybe if I say it enough times, I will be ok with it.  She has gotten into the College Down the Street.  She even made it into their honors program.  I know that she will get into others and I am not looking forward to having to help her make this decision.  Choices like which Christmas gift to buy are hard for her because of her OCD.  I can't begin to imagine the drama this decision is going to come with.

6.  Am I blogging just for my own mental health or does reading my blog actually keep people informed on my life and maybe even help them with their problems?  (If nothing else by showing them that we all have problems.)  This blog has quite a few followers but I haven't gotten a new one in quite some time and my other blog http://www.myliteraryopinions.blogspot.com/ only has 5 followers.  It gets more hits than that but only 5 followers is kind of a bummer.  I wonder if I should keep them going?

5.  What am I going to mail my Grandmother's Christmas gift to her in.  I have it wrapped and ready to go in a shirt box.  A typical shirt box.  I wanted to send it Priority Mail so I got one of their mailing boxes.  The one referred to as a shirt box.  The only problem is their shirtbox is about 3/4 of an inch shorter than my shirt box.  Come on people.  A shirt box should be a shirt box.  When will the world get its act together and have uniform standard sizes?

4.  What else can I get my daughter for Christmas?  I have some gifts and some ideas but need more.  If you come up with any, you can comment on this blog.  I just won't post your comment so she doesn't see it.  What would you want if you were a 17 1/2 year old girl?

3.  How come if according to the movie "Fred Claus" when Santa becomes a saint, he and his whole family stop aging and freeze at the age they are at but then in the movie "The Santa Clause 3" he and his wife have a baby how could that happen according to the rules of Santa from "Fred Claus"?  Hubby says they are just movies but I am thinking this is an important thing to kids and what would I say if a random child should ask me?  I think Hollywood should get it together on their Santa lore.

2.  Where am I gonna find the money in our budget to pay for our trip to Hometown between Christmas and New Year's?  I really shouldn't be worrying about this because Hubby took over the budgetting for the year so technically I am giving myself one more month off before I start doing it again but I can't help but worry.  The hotel is like $160 per night.  We are looking at two or three nights.  We don't have that kind of a chunk of change just sitting around.  Besides, if we did I would have already spent it on Christmas.

1.  Is my Grandma ok?  Last week she broke her leg and had to get a rod put in place of the bones between her knee and ankle.  Its times like this when its really hard to live 5 hours away.  I know that my being there wouldn't really do anything except maybe make her smile but I just wish I was.  Calling on the phone just isn't the same.  I miss my Gram.

There you go.  A roller coaster ride through my mind this Christmas season.  I will make my best effort to have my next posting be a more cohesive thought process.  I promise.

Angels Don't Just Grow on Trees

While in Hometown for the holiday weekend, we were out shopping.  Yes, it was on Black Friday but surprisingly it wasn't to get any of the Black Friday deals which all actually happened on Thursday night anyway.  So, we go to Wally World and I was thrilled to see that they had an angel tree in the front of the store.  An angel tree, for those that don't know, is a Christmas tree decorated with slips of paper.  Each slip of paper has the name, age and gender of a child in need on it.  You are supposed to pick a slip off of the tree and buy an age and gender appropriate toy for that child.  There are usually collection boxes around the tree.  I love doing the angel tree and it is something they don't really seem to do here in Suburbia.  I love helping those in need especially at Christmas time.  But I also make an attempt to handle my philanthropical giving on my own and not rely on charities, especially when it comes to one group - military families.  Don't get me wrong,  I'm not unpatriotic.  I appreciate all that our service men and women do for me and our country.  I just have a problem because at one point I was part of a needy military family. I even had to do Christmas by myself while my spouse was deployed.  Nobody, I repeat NOBODY, from any charity ever asked if we needed help.  Nobody offered us food or toys for our child.  Nobody even checked to make sure that I was okay handling the holiday alone as a single parent.  Holidays were hard.  Being away from family was difficult.  We managed to scrape by and our child always had presents to open on Christmas morning and there was always a holiday meal to feast on but it was usually the work of creative financial planning and going without other things that made it possible.  Could we have sought out charities and begged for a hand-out?  Yes, but there is this thing called pride that seems to get in the way.  I'm not saying people should not give to charities that benefit the military families.  This is just my personal experience.  What I am saying is to make sure that ANY charity you are giving to is actually doing what you think and they claim they are doing.  Or better yet don't rely on some corporation, even if it is non-profit, to do the work for you.  If you know a family in need, offer them help directly.  Invite them to your holiday meal.  Share your home with them to provide some company.  Take them a bag of food or some toys for their kids.  It may feel ackward and they may claim not to need it but I can guarantee you they will be thankful even if it isn't directly to your face.  If everyone just took care of their friends and neighbors like family, we wouldn't need all these hundreds of charities funneling money in a million different directions and people wouldn't get overlooked and slip through the cracks.  Show your appreciation directly to our military men and women.  Include them in your Christmas card list.  Check on their families while they are deployed.  You may make a world of difference in a person's life but rely on yourself to do it - not some middleman.

Can I Pay You in Bodily Organs?

Holy Hell ! ! !  I just did the handy-dandy financial estimation calculator for a university my daughter wants to attend next year!  What the hell ! ! !  I understand what the EFC is but when I saw it I couldn't believe my eyes!  Our EFC (estimated family contribution) is $15,000!  Yeah you read that right - FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ! ! !  Now I know college costs a lot of money but there is a school up the road where she can go for approximately $10,000 total!  Problem is they don't have what she wants to be when she grows up!  We probably should have saved more for her future but I didn't know we were supposed to be saving nearly $100 a month since the day she was BORN!  Hell, back then we only MADE $100 a month.  We were po' folk to say the least.  We have worked hard to get ourselves out of debt, gather an emergency fund and get Hubby a job that pays well.  Great!  We did all that.  The problem now is I feel like we are being punished for it.  On the questionaire it asks for how much we have in our savings and checking.  Ok.  I answered truthfully.  The thing is even with my truthful answer, our checking and savings combined does not equal what they are expecting us to contribute for ONE year.  That's right.  That $15,000 is just for one year.  And as for my hubby having a good job, you better hope you're on unemployment when your kids apply because here was our breakdown:  Federal Gift Aid - ZERO, State Gift Aid - ZERO, Institutional Gift Aid - ZERO.  I'm seeing a trend here.  The problem is even if we do give them everything we have and then some for her freshman year, then we will have a big fat ZERO.  How does this happen?  Are we really supposed to be homeless so that our daughter can attend college?  And as for scholarships?  She isn't athlete, musically inclined, or anything else that might get her a scholarship.  She is an average, middle-class, white kid which means she gets no help at all.  Nothing.  Anybody wanna buy a kidney?

Drop It Like Its Hot

We have renters ! ! !  After a five year long quest, we have finally found someone to rent our house in the next town over!  I don't know if I should be getting this excited because it is a group of four college-age boys.  But I look at it this way, rent is rent no matter who it comes from.  We are currently going through our checklist of "Things that need to be done before 'The Boys' move in".  We have done quite a bit and paid quite a bit for people to do the things we couldn't.  Trim the trees out front - check.  Mow and edge the yard - check.  Have the carpets cleaned - check.  Schedule the exterminator to come check it out (at the recommendation of our property manager) - check.  Rehang the door at the bottom of the stairs - check.  Get our crap out of the garage - half a check.  We still have some minor stuff to do.  Mostly getting our crap back here with all our other crap.  We called our insurance company to tell them that we would need to change our policy now that there were renters going to be living in the house and then - WHAM! - they are dropping us.  Its a local insurance agency and they mostly function as the middleman between obscure agencies that actually carry the policies and schmucks like us.  They claim they cannot find anyone to carry our policy because we don't have our auto and renters insurance with them.  What a load of bull!  If we can't have all your business, we don't want any of it.  How juvenile can you get?  They told us to try to go through the people who hold our auto policy and to have a nice day.  Thanks.  So now we are left on our quest for insurance coverage yet again.  We have our policy with a big national company that operates mostly over the internet.  We had a problem with them just the other day.  See, we bought a new car (because Waldo was dying) and had to swap out the cars on our policy.  When Hubby went on-line to do that, their system was in the process of a back-up so even though the change was made, it wouldn't show up in their system until after the next back-up.  They told Hubby this when he called but when he asked for a quote of what our annual payment would be, he was told that they couldn't get that information because the system was performing another back-up.  Why they are doing their system back-ups from 7 - 10 p.m. is beyond me.  Why not do them from 3 - 6 a.m.?  Even the people on the west coast should be sleeping or otherwise involved at that point and their car insurance should be the furthest thing from their mind.  So I don't have insurance on the house I am renting as of Monday, I do have insurance on my new car but I don't how much it is going to cost me, and with my luck the exterminator who is coming out today will find some big-ass bugs that will cost about a million dollars to get rid of.  They say when it rains it pours.  Oh well, I'll be out in Houdini (my new car) smelling that new car smell and relishing the fact that in the insurance world I am hot because everybody's dropping me.

Lo Siento

I decided that I needed one more post in the month of July.  My postings have been few and far between recently as I try to figure out who I am and where I am going.  Without much response to my request for goals, I am toying around with some ideas of my own.  Hopefully, the prospective tenants we have lined up to rent our house in the next town over will come through and one of my new goals can be saving money.  Rental tenants will also mean that I will have a source to fund said goals once I have finalized them.  The prospective tenants are four college-age boys.  Not the ideal, no, but they are people who are willing to pay rent.  Their credit is good and combined they make enough that the rent is affordable to them.  The only thing that made us think twice was their lack of credit - some of them have none.  But when I really thought about it, the thing that was really making us think twice was their age.  But if we got a family in there to rent the place in their twenties with young kids and no credit, we would think that was great.  So why not these boys?  We can't legally discriminate based on age and that's what we would be doing if we turned them down.  So, we wait on our packet from the property management people and hope that we have some rental income soon.  My hubby thinks we are going to be "fat cat landlords".  I have reminded him that in order to qualify for the "fat cat" status, one cannot still be paying rent to someone else.  At least in my opinion.  So "plain old landlords" we will be.  Hopefully this will help relieve some financial stress around here as well as allow us to do some more saving for our daughter's college fund.  We were kind of worried that when they saw my hubby's salary, they would expect a ginormous family contribution not acknowledging that we are paying our rent and an additional monthly mortgage.  It'll be nice not to panic when we do the budget each month.  Hmmmm . . .  I'll have to find something new to worry about.

P.S.  If you don't know, "lo siento" means "I'm sorry" in Spanish.  Which, I must point out to my daughter who is fed up with me using random Spanish words where they don't apply, is totally applicable in this situation.  Gracias!  Lo siento!  Burrito!  Amigo!

Blessed Be the Tithe that Binds

We got a letter some time ago from the catholic church of which we are official registered non-attending members.  Basically, it said this:  Their campaign to increase their members' giving has been successful and their incoming finances are better than expected so please, give more.  Yup, that's right they have extra money and they still want even more.  I just don't get it.  Yesterday, we got two phone calls solicating money for police forces.  Two in one day!  One was for the local sheriff and the other for the state police.  I'm sorry but I thought that was what I paid taxes for but now you want to call my house asking for more?  Then there are the weekly calls we get from the vietnam veterans, the lupus foundation and many other organizations asking if we have anything to donate to their cause.  They of course take items as donation but don't they think calling every week is a bit obsessive.  Oh, and my favorite, the college that my husband attended calls about once a week to ask for "alumni support".  Are you kidding?  First off, he went to school on-line so he didn't really experience your campus which coincidentally could use many new, improved buildings and lots of other expensive crap.  Second, we had to pay the huge price tag for his education.  Why would we continue to fork over more cash?  Shortly after receiving our well worded begging from St. Down the Street's, we got yet another request in the mail.  This time from the regional catholic diocese asking for money for their fundraising campaign.  It seems to me that when it comes to these organizations the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing because both hands are open and asking for cash.  Working at a church, I type the hymn titles into the weekly bulletin for the parishoners.  I always chuckle when I type the hymn "Blessed Be The Tie that Binds".  I can't help but think to myself the more appropriate title would be "Blessed Be the Tithe that Binds".  Hee hee!

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

You know how people always ask if you want he good news or the bad news first?  How about no news.  That would be good.  I would love to have no news at the moment.  See, the appliance repairman has come and gone, the car is at the garage, and in an hour the birds have to make the hour and a half trip to the avian vet.  My credit card is about ready to self-destruct!  I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for everything.  All I know is that I have until the Visa bill gets here to come up with a plan.  But for every bit of good news today has brought, there has been even worse bad news.  First, there was the clothes dryer:

Good News - It is no longer squeaking. 
Bad News - The guy said it is the motor and when that goes we will need to get a new dryer.

Then there was the auto mechanic:

Good News - The brakes on Hubby's car will be fixed for a reasonable price of $450. 
Bad News - It will still be very, VERY hot in his car since it would have been $1000 to fix the a/c whos-a-ma-whats-it and thing-a-ma-jig (new tires needed but not included in that price).

I'm not sure I want to hear the good news and the subsequent bad news from the vet!  I don't want to say "what else could possibly go wrong" because today, it will.  It's just one of those days.  But I will be here smiling, running my clothes dryer to death and braking Hubby's car every ten feet all while most likely force feeding the birds some sort of bird medication!  Why?  Because I can.  Oh, and so that you all don't feel left out:

Good News:  I blogged today.
Bad News:  It's a pretty boring blog where I just complain.

The Unicorns Save the Day - Again!

I tend to overreact.  I admit it.  When I hear something my mind immediately goes to the worst case scenerio.  Upon hearing news, I pick up the glass that was half empty and dump the rest of it out.  Prepare for the worst.  That's my motto.  If your standards are so low, then you are most likely to be pleasantly surprised when things go even slightly better than awful.  My hubby calls it being paranoid.  I prefer to call it being preparanoid.  Because of my outlook, I am usually able to handle whatever life throws at me.  Like today when my daughter called at 8:00 am and told me that we still owed the band/colorguard program at the school $100 and they would be putting an academic hold on her grades until we sorted things out.  Great I thought!  What could be worse than finding this out on the last day of school!  I, the queen of the disorganized, had no idea where the check carbons were or even where the bank statements were!  How was I ever going to prove my being a proper parent and paying the outrageous fee?  Leave it to my hubby to fix everything.  In the land of lollipops, unicorns and rainbows there is not such thing as a crisis.  To my pessimistic surprise, everything was rectified by noon and we were on our way to have lunch with our senior.  Yeah, today our daughter officially became a senior.  She was delighted and petrified at the same time.  Thrilled to be a senior, she has repeatedly expressed her desire not to grow up.  I love my little Peter Pan and assured her that she has some time before she has to grow up.  Because honestly, she's not the only one who isn't ready for it.  I just hope before the time comes for her to enter the real world,  that I have joined my husband and his ability to expect the best.  Look out unicorns, here I come.

My Family Went on Vacation and All I Got Was This Lousy Blog

I've decided to sum up our recent trip to Faraway with a helpful Top Ten Traveling Tips
10.  A foot of snow can stop a 7 day a week Chinese buffet from opening, but it won't stop Chinese delivery.
9.  When in doubt, bribe your child with the promise of a trip to Canada.
8.  Child services agencies in the US are even more screwed up than I thought they were.
7.  It is not possible to have everyone be comfortable in a rental car.
6.  Indian reservations look just like everywhere else, except for the giant fiberglass 50 foot tall Native American statues
5.  Connecticut = $$$Cha-Ching$$$
4.  It is impossible to have a nice, calm, relaxing meal at a Denny's.
3.  Forget about deer.  Try not hitting a moose.
2.  Just because its called the China Dine-ah doesn't mean it has Chinese food.
1.  The magnet is right.  What happens in Maine stays in Maine but really nothing ever happens in Maine.

What? Its not a baby?

We are adopting an older child, a 13 year old child to be exact, and what I want to know is - why is this an issue.  The main issue I have is that there is a total lack of support for this type of adoption.  Take announcements for example.  When you have a baby or even adopt a baby , there are numerous places where you can get birth or adoption announcements.  I was excited when I heard this thinking I would be able to get some for when we finalize our adoption.  Wrong.  I checked into numerous websites that advertised adoption announcements.  What they should have advertised was adoption announcements for children under the age of 5.  I'm not sure how my new daughter would feel about adoption announcements with duckies or booties or a stroller on them but that's what they've got.  I guess I'm on my own to figure out how to share our big news when the finalization date comes.  Even some friends and family are a little lacking in their enthusiasm.  I don't know if they are worried we will be getting "damaged merchandise" or what but it would be nice to feel the warm fuzzies I know I would feel if it were a baby we were having or adopting.  Another example would be the shower factor.  While I understand a baby comes with a need for many specialized things, teenagers don't exactly come with their own set of everything they need.  We will need sheets, blankets, etc. to provide a nice place for our new teen to live.  Everything we already have is basically in sets of three.  We will have to get more bath towels, more pillows, and even things the child may be lacking like more clothes.  Seeing as she will be coming from a different state, she will most likely need some climate appropriate clothes.  And I'm not just looking for someone else to foot the bill.  We have purchased a new bed and a new dresser and numerous other things already.  Just the idea of a party to introduce the new child to the family/community would be a welcome idea.  I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this but when you have a baby or adopt a baby there are a dozen people waiting to throw you a shower.  Nobody says a peep about throwing a shower for an older child.  Nobody is chomping at the bit to throw a welcome party.  We will be having a party but it will be us having the party.  But as usual, we will find a way.  We will find a way to make this family addition as celebratory as possible.  But we will most likely be doing it on our own.  Why am I surprised?  This just falls in line with so many other things in life for me.  I just have to take the bull by the horns and as Tim Gunn would say "make it work."

The Tax Man Cometh

I am super stressed.  Tax time is officially here.  I know that because I have seen approximately fifty H&R Block commercials in the last half hour.  Its still three months until I have to have them done, but our taxes are already freaking me out.  Sure, my OCD doesn't make the whole process any easier.  I have to do a trial run.  Then I have to do a check of the trial run.  Then I do a real copy.  Then I compare the real copy and the trial run hoping there are no discrepancies or else I have to start all over again.  Then, if everything agrees, I have to do a final copy.  Then I make photocopies of the final copy (usually two photocopies) and file them all away in my file drawer.  To make life easier, I could have them done by a professional.  Simple, right?  No.  Not a chance.  See the problem lies in the fact that I have kept no records of anything over the last year.  Medical expenses - no.  Donations to charity - no.  I have been a totally irresponsible adult when it comes to our financial records.  Now, I could do what I have done in the past and just short myself whatever I am rightly owed in exchange for the ease of the standard deduction and an EZ form.  However this year, my husband's company has started to put money in his 401K.  This is diving into a realm that I have no idea how to handle.  Since I have scrimped on the organization of receipts, I must try to educate myself on this new addition.  Go through all the ridiculous rules and changes to see what is what.  Then for next year, there is also the possible added bonus of having rental income/expenses and adoption credits.  But you are my witness, I am vowing to not be so financially naughty in 2011.  I will keep track of receipts.  I will keep a record of donations.  And best of all, I will take that shoebox full of all that crap someone else to do my taxes. 
Now, did I get our 2010 W-2 forms and if I did where did I put them?

Bigger is Not Always Better

Holy Kroger Marketplace Batman!  Today was our third trip to the new, improved, gigantic Kroger Marketplace here in Suburbia.  Its so big that they had to pass out maps the first week it was open.  I'm really not kidding.  We used to have a very nice Kroger, but they decided to knock it down to build a Kroger Marketplace (which is PR for Kroger with furniture and a sushi bar).  They closed the old one and plowed it over taking their good old time.  We suffered without a grocery store for about a month making trips to the Super Wal-mart.  It was difficult but we perservered.  The whole time I wondered - how are they going to afford closing for a month?  Well, now I know.  They jacked up all of their prices to high heaven.  Things that used to cost $6 now cost $8.  That's quite a jump if you ask me.  Whereas we used to be able to make it out of there with a full cart for $120, now we leave about $150 poorer.  I have a theory that is why they closed for an entire month.  So you could forget what prices you used to pay for everything.  Its nice I guess.  They do have a section I have dubbed "Cheeses of the World" where you can sample till your hearts content, but that's not worth an extra $30 a trip for me.  Now if I could only find my way out of the store without my frozens thawing out.

Poor Me - A Post of Self-Pity and Financial Frustration

I've calmed down a bit from yesterday and have progressed to sulking.  It seems as though they have caught the people who were responsible for the copper thefts which is good.  That doesn't give us our pipes back though.  Insurance will cover some of it.  They're not sure just how much yet.  The window they think will be our responsibility because it is considered vandalism and vandalism on a house that is vacant for more than 30 days is not covered.  Bogus in my opinion.  Its not like they were just out to break a window.  It was part of the theft.  But whatever.  I'll be happy with whatever we get.  I let mom and grandma know that we won't be coming to Hometown for Thanksgiving now.  Mom took it better than expected.  Grandma was really disappointed.  Oh well.  Have to get the money from somewhere and cutting out a three night hotel stay and the cost of gas, food and pet boarding will help.  It will be a tough day but we'll get through it.  We also won't be taking our weekend vacation in December.  Right now the Christmas trip to Hometown is on hold.  We'll see how much this will cost us.  To be honest we didn't really have the money to go on those trips anyway.  I've lost track of my Five Weeks to Financial Betterification.  Can't really budget now that we have this huge expense to pay out.  Oh well.  Can you tell I'm sulking?  Got to find a way to get back to my snarky old self.  I promise a much more interesting and cheerful post tomorrow.

Where's the Common Cents?

I was dreading picking my daughter up from her first winterguard practice today.  Why?  Because today was the day they found out how much it costs.  Yes, we live in a pay-to-play school district.  I don't know what it is like in other areas of the country but school is expensive here in Suburbia.  Back when I was in school, you know, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, the worst thing was buying the required composition notebooks.  Now, at least in our area, you have to buy all of the supplies including classroom supplies like tissues and bleach wipes.  You also have school fees.  This is a bill they send you for the classes your child is in.  This year's school fees were $142 and we only have one child.  There was also the cost of the specialized supplies for mechanical drawing class which ran us $45.  And if your child wants to do an extra-curricular activity, look out.  Our daughter is in fall colorguard and we pay between $400 and $500 for the season.  Last year, winter guard was $20.  This year they have expanded the program so that it is $200.  Then there is the band trip to Florida which will run $900 at least.  And they do minimal fundraising.  Minimal.  Very minimal.  The Florida trip is optional but how do you tell your child that you can't afford it?  That's what we had to do.  If she were going. we would have a grand total of at least $1800 for the school year.  Wow.  No wonder dinosaurs are extinct.  They died of sticker shock.

Brother Can You Spare a Dime?

Yesterday, my mailbox was full.  Full of crap.  All I got were solicitations for donations to charity.  Now I guess this wouldn't make me quite so angry if they weren't charities I have already donated to!  Every year for lent as a family project, we save our change and donate it to a charity (last year's winner was Reading is Fundamental).  We also participate in other charities throughout the year (like Operation Christmas Child at Christmas time).  The problem is that once you donate to these organizations, they aren't happy with your one donation.  It seems like every week they send you something asking for more money.  If I had more money to give you, I would have included it in the check I sent you last week.  It makes me not want to give to them in the first place.  The donation I just made merely covers the cost of all the mailings they will send me in the future.  What is the point of me giving them my donation?  I might as well donate it directly to the postal service.  They are the ones that end up with the money anyway.  Or send the request in an e-mail (this is what the WSPA does).  It's cheaper, more eco-friendly and easier to ignore if I so choose.  And I wonder at what point a charity decides to bump you off their harassment list.  We donated to Heifer International (a GREAT organization) so many years ago that I can't remember when it was but we still get their solicitations in the mail.  I could call and ask to be removed from their mailing list I guess, but the point is I shouldn't have to.  Keep my name, but try only asking for more money like a year later.  News flash - You're more likely to get donation once a year than once a month at least from me.  Not all charities are like this.  There are some out there who graciously accept your donation and put your money to actual use and not more mailings (Donkeys of the Holy Land being one).  I guess I will just have to focus my giving locally and purchase items with my money.  I can then physically take these items to the charities.  We did that one year for the local animal shelter and they were so surprised with the gifts they were speechless.  I wish my donations could render some of these other charities speechless - or better yet stampless.