What a Weekend!

Things I have learned this weekend:

10) My daughter is addicted to reruns of Grey's Anatomy.

9)  I don't wish that I was young again.  I just wish I posessed the same potential I did when I was younger.

8)  Getting healthy isn't a punishment - its a wonderful, hopefully achievable, goal.

7) I like walking downtown in major cities - even though they can sometimes smell like poo.

6) I am severely addicted to Powerade Zero. 

5) It is possible to sleep without the air cleaner, fan, air conditioner, night light and television on. Not well, but possible.

4) Don't read Dean Koontz when the power goes out.

3) Cirque du Soliel is even more amazing in person. Everyone should see it at some point in their lives and now I can cross it off my bucket list.

2) Skateboarding dogs are even funnier in person. I can also cross this off my bucket list.

1) I am obsessed with death.  Big time!

Why is Not Just a Question for Preschoolers

I'm not sure that I really have anything to say today.  I just figured it has been some time since I posted so I should at least give you all an update.  The update is - nothing.  She is still missing.  I read an article yesterday from a local newspaper in Far Away about the whole situation.  It said that she was having a sexual relationship with the 30 year old man she left with.  They believe she left of her own free will.  Doesn't surprise me one bit actually.  I've given up on thinking that if we had adopted her then none of this would have happened.  It may have happened here just as well.  It doesn't matter because we didn't adopt her and I need to move on from that.  I need to not worry about her any more than I would any other friend or family aquiantance.  Hard to do?  Yeah.  But not impossible.  I just have to focus on other things.  I hope she is found and I hope that the guy she went with is put in prison but until then I've done all that I can do.  End of story.  I need to just put the whole adoption thing behind me.  Today I saw a friend that I haven't seen in a long time.  She let me know that she is not doing well.  She told me that she has early onset dementia.  I was stunned.  I didn't know what to say.  It got me thinking about a friend's mother who had dementia and even Hubby's grandmother which as usual gets me started thinking about mortality in general which gets me thinking about Hubby and I and our mortality.  I don't know if or when I am going to die.  I like to think that I never will but I guess . . . scratch that, I know we all do at some point.  That takes care of the who and the what which just leaves the question of where, when and how.  The problem isn't my death.  It's Hubby's.  I cannot picture my life without Hubby.  I've tried to think about it, tried to prepare myself for the dreaded "what if" but its like without him I will cease to exist.  I worry about that feeling.  With my depression and history of mental illness, I wonder what would happen to me if something happened to him.  So I try not to think about it.  Instead I fill my days doing things to distract my obsessive brain with other things.  Like blogging.  When I remember to do it.  And when I feel that someone out there somewhere may be interested in what I have to say or which is not often.  I guess that's why I don't blog as much as I did before.  My confidence is lacking.  I don't know why but it is.  I need an ego boost.  A shot of confidence in myself.  That takes care of the who and the what now I just need to figure out the where, when and how.  Wait.  I left out the why.  Why do we die?  Why don't I have confidence?  Why am I even writing this right now?  Wow, guess I had more to say than I thought I did.  Wonder why?

Missing

Well, <sigh> its been a hell of a day.  I found out this morning that the girl we were going to adopt from Far Away is missing.  That's right.  Missing.  Her grandmother told me this morning via facebook message that she is missing and they think she is with her friend's father.  He seems to have vanished too and can't be reached by text or phone.  From what I could gather from reading several posts, she has been missing since June 9th.  That's almost a week.  They say that the police are involved but a friend of mine did an Amber Alert search and came up empty.  My guess is that they are considering her a runaway because of her age and the fact that this guy is missing too.  Who knows?  I am doing all I can to try to get in touch with her.  Texting, messaging, posting.  I have put her picture out there on facebook for people to share saying that she is missing.  I've had a few friends repost the picture.  I just can't believe this has happened.  I don't know what to do or how to help.  At this point, I am just asking that if you are on facebook that you go to my profile and repost her picture and the picture of the guy.  (I got his picture from his profile.  Thank God for people who don't lock down their security settings.)  If you are not a personal friend of mine then all I can do is ask that you pray to whatever God you believe in that she is found safe and sound. 

Cut the Cord Already

This past Monday was no ordinary Monday.  It was the day that my hubby and I took our daughter to University to get registered for the fall.  They had a day full of activities for the students and parents as well.  I can't really speak for the student happenings of the day but the parent sessions were really interesting.  I learned a lot of little tips for helping my child transition to university life, I was reaffirmed that the things I planned to do were indeed the right things to be doing and I realized that there are some wacko parents out there.  We had a short session that started at 8:30 a.m. and then much to the dismay of some parents, students and parents were split up.  Some of the things that were pointed out to us during those parent sessions were ridiculous - things we have been doing with our child for years.  They were recommending to parents things like "Don't call your child every morning to wake them up or to be sure they have gotten up".  I thought this was a joke.  I chuckled to myself and noticed that aside from Hubby no one else in the room seemed to be amused.  Were these parents actually considering doing this?  That's just crazy.  Your child is old enough to be responsible for rising and shining on their own.  If your child is not capable of doing this on their own, how did they get through high school.  Then it hit me - mommy and daddy.  These are the dreaded "helicopter parents" that I had heard about when my daughter was in junior high and high school.  They do everything for their children.  The thing is I didn't realize that this continued through college.  I can't imagine calling my child's professor to clear up an issue.  If you do that, at what point do you stop doing things like that.  Do they call their child's boss when their child wants a raise?  Where does it end?  My daughter heard my husband and I discussing this crazy style of parenting and shared with us a story she heard of one university student who regularly sent her homework home for her parents to do.  Are you kidding me?  You are paying big bucks for your child's education at this level.  Wouldn't you want them to actually GET that education.  Who knows - maybe it's just one of those urban myths of college.  I hope it is.  All I know is that I plan to not be a helicopter parent in any way, shape or form and should I have to deal with said "helicopter parents", I'm not sure how much patience I'll have.  Parents, at this age your children are adults, young adults, but adults nonetheless.  Allow them to function as such.

Operation Recuperation

I only have one thing to say this fine Monday morning.  Boy was yesterday tiring: physically, emotionally, psychologically and about any other -ically you can think of.  My head hurts.  My legs and feet hurt.  My pocketbook hurts.  See yesterday was the famed party portion of what I have affectionately dubbed Operation Graduation.  It was great to see friends and family again.  The kid had a great time and that was the most important part.  The worst part came when we went to pick up the "catering" at the local Mega-Super-Mart (I won't point it out by name but it starts with a W and ends with -mart.)  We had ordered two large trays of chicken and two large and two small trays of sandwich rolls to be picked up at 10:30 a.m.  This gave us ample time to load the car and get to the facility we had rented beginning at 11:00 a.m. to set up for the party starting at noon.  We arrived at the Mega-Super-Mart deli area and I stated I was there to pick up the order for "My Last Name".  The lady handling the chicken  looked up and smiled as she put the finishing touches on our chicken trays.  The lady I was speaking to looked at our order and said "Oh, you want sandwich rolls too.  Guess I should start making those."  WHAT !?!?!?!?  It was time for us to pick up our order and they hadn't started making it yet!  I waited appoximately fifteen minutes before I had to go open the facility and left Hubby and The Kid (aka The Graduate) to wait for the ridiculously tardy sandwich roll trays.  See Hubby has abundance of patience that I do not posess.  After half and hour, Hubby called me to notify me that one of the four trays was complete.  ONE!!!!!  I informed Hubby to return that tray to the deli and leave the Mega-Super-Mart and we would call to get pizzas in place of the sandwich roll trays.  Half an hour later, after the deli worker insisting that she was almost done with tray number two, the eternity wait in the check out line and the drive to the facility, Hubby and The Kid arrived at the party with fifteen minutes to spare.  They were short a sandwich roll trays and we were short four helping hands in the set-up process.  The real kicker here - the trays they did give us weren't even right.  One was the wrong type of sandwich roll!!!  Whatever.  I was just glad we had something to feed our guests and they arrived just before the pizza order was called in.  Talk about luck.  Apparently, at the Mega-Super-Mart they have confused the word "tray" with the word "try".  I ordered "trays" and their response on that day was to "try" to make them for me.  The big difference here being the letter "A" - a grade that I would not give them for their service.  Their letter grade would be a big, fat "F"!

Missing the "Mommy Days"

 OMG!  I just dropped my daughter off for her last day of high school - EVER!  I can't believe it.  Its just not quite sinking in.  I will never drive my daughter to school again.  After all those times when I complained and thought of how I would rather be sleeping in, I'll never do it again.  I feel almost numb about it.  On one hand I am happy because I will get to sleep in.  On the other hand she has grown up way too fast.  When I dubbed 2012 "The Year of Change" I wasn't really thinking of all the changes that were coming that were beyond my control.  My daughter wants to get a job for the summer and there is part of me that hopes she doesn't find one.  There is a part of me that wants to spend the summer with her just hanging out and enjoying each other's company.  But once again, that is part of my delusional little world.  If she is here all summer with no job, we will most likely get on each other's nerves and under each other's skin.  A shame really considering I consider this her last summer of being a kid.  This is it.  In the fall she'll go off to college and BOOM - adulthood hits.  I look back at the years past and they are full of wonderful memories but now that will change.  There may not be family vacations.  There may not be weekends with pajama days.  I guess everone with children goes through this at some point but I can't help but think it is harder on those of us with only one child.  If you have more than one, when the first one goes off to college you still have the others at home and by the time the last one goes off to college you are already a veteran of the process.  For those of us with one child it hits us extra hard.  Right now I am trying to figure out how and when this actually happened.  When did I get so old that I have a child going off to her last day of high school?  Nothing like adding to my mid-life crisis.  I am going to hit 40 hard next year.  In the meantime, I have to figure out my new identity since I will no longer be mommy.  I will always be a mom don't get me wrong but those "Mommy Days" of her needing me on a daily basis are quickly drawing to a close.  "Mommy Days" - how I will miss you!  So if you have kids, hold them, hug them and hang onto those "Mommy Days".  The time when they will be spreading their wings and leaving the nest will be here before you know it.

Come Sale Away with Me

Since many people seem to be cleaning out their closets and thus setting up their own personal castoff consumer magnets frequently known as garage sales, I have decided to address what I as a veteran of both having sales and attending sales consider to be essential garage sale ettiquette.  So if you are planning to have a sale, listen up and take notes people.  Here's my Garage Sale Ettiquette Top Ten.

 #10 - Price appropriately.  You are not Macy's, Kohl's or even Walmart.  Do not price your items like they are new.  They say pricing it AT MOST 20% of what you paid for it is sufficient.  I don't want to pay $30 at a garage sale for a nearly new purse even if it is Vera Bradley.  The cheaper the items, the quicker they move.  And on that note, mark everything clearly while you are at it.  Mass marking with signs (such as all clothes $1) are best.  When it comes to marking items, then pretend you are Macy's or Kohl's.  No bar codes needed though, tags are just fine.

#9 - Don't hover.  I know you want to be helpful but I am not looking for the employee attention that I get at Talbot's, White House/Black Market or even Old Navy when I come to a garage sale.  I will look.  If interested, I will ask.  I don't want to know your opinion of what I should be buying.  Your tastes are not my tastes and to be honest I may be looking just to be polite.  "Helipcoter sellers" beware.

#8 - Be prepared.  Have plenty of bags and change.  If you have bags, I will be more apt to buy more stuff.  If you have change readily available, I will not want to strangle you.  I recently went to a sale where the woman had to go into her house and hunt for five minutes to find $3 change for my $5 bill on a $2 purchase.  Had she not taken my $5 into the house with her, I probably would have left during her monetary scavenger hunt.  Especially be prepared for people to come bearing $20 bills as that is the unit amount dispensed by the ATM.

#7 - Location, location, location.  If the weather is good, and it needs to be to have a successful sale, garage sale doesn't really mean garage.  Put your items in the yard or in the driveway.  I don't want to go into your dark, dank most likely stinky garage to see your items.  Besides, the lighting and head clearance are not helpful when shopping.  And when people do drive-bys (slowing down to see if it is worth getting out of their car), they don't even bother stopping if they can't see anything.

#6 - Be honest.  Multi-family implies lots of items - not two card tables set-up by you and your closest neighbor.  If its a sale of mostly baby items, advertise it that way.  If something doesn't work right or have all the pieces, tell me.  I may still buy it.  Some people are looking for broken things to tinker with.  They may be looking for parts for another item that does work.  Just because you're honest doesn't mean you are not going to make the sale.

#5 - Sign timing.  Once you are ready for customers, put up your signs.  Do not put up signs while you are still setting up.  And you cannot, CANNOT get mad at early birds if you do this.  And don't forget to take your signs down when you are done.  There is nothing worse than chasing down a garage sale that is not actually occuring.  Do not send people on a wild goose chase because you are too lazy or forgetful to complete the art of having a garage sale.

#4 - Size matters.  Do not put out five items and call it a garage sale.  A garage sale implies that you either a) have enough stuff to fill a garage or b) you have cleaned out your whole garage and are selling most of its contents.  If you don't have enough items to have a sale, wait a year or just wait till the end of the summer.  If you don't have anywhere to store the items you want to sell, then simply donate them and take the tax credit or use Ebay.  When I do a drive-by if you don't have a lot of stuff, then that's what I simply do - drive by.

#3 - Don't smoke.  You are trying to sell me things that you no longer want.  They are used and the last thing I want to know is that they are filled with smoke too.  It doesn't matter how nice something made of fabric is, if the seller is smoking, I don't buy.  Most of the time if the seller is smoking I don't even stay to look.  There is a reason you can't smoke in restaurants and stores.  Treat your garage sale like your personal store.  And just because it is outside doesn't mean nobody else can smell your smoke.  Just don't do it.

#2 - Keep your pets away.  Unless you are selling Fido or Fuzzy, keep them away from the sale.  If you want them to be outside with you, keep them on a leash.  People may be frightened of dogs or simply allergic to them.  I cannot tell you the number of times I have had my toes licked by a roaming dog at a garage sale.  When my toes are wet, I am less likely to make a purchase.

#1 - Be there.  I cannot tell you how many times I have gone to a garage sale, found something I like, and then realized I was alone.  There was nobody there to sell me the item.  If you are going to commit to a garage sale, commit.  The worst garage sale I think I may have ever gone to and surely the most bizarre was void of any seller until a voice came through the door connecting the garage to the house.  It was competing with the TV that was on and it said to ask any questions I may have by yelling into the house.  Yup, she was watching TV and couldn't be bothered to even come to the garage when she knew someone was in there.  Don't be a "ghost seller".

Happy shopping and happy selling everyone!