I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas

So.  We live in Suburbia but we own a house we are trying to sell/rent in Next Town Over.  Ok.  Whoever it was that stole all of the copper pipes out of our house in Next Town Over - YOU SUCK!  Thanks for leaving our basement a wet mess with no plumbing.  All for a couple hundred dollars most likely to support your stinkin' drug habit while it will cost us a few thousand of our hard earned money to repair.  Now, trip to Hometown for Thanksgiving - cancelled.  Upcoming weekend vacation - cancelled.  Thanks Mr. Copper Pipe Stealin' Meth Head!  Way to ruin our holiday season!  I hope you enjoy your fix while we deal with the police and the insurance adjustors and trying to come up with the money to replace all that you stole.  If the insurance adjustor finds it in his heart or his insurance guy handbook to help us out, it will cost us at least $500.  Who has an extra $500 laying around in November/December?  Not me, I can tell you that much.  I sure hope you have fun with your . . . no wait OUR money.  How are we supposed to sell a house with no indoor plumbing huh?  I can see our realtor now - its a lovely three bedroom with a shed converted into an outhouse.  Nice.  I'm sure we'll get top dollar for that Mr. Taking Stuff That Doesn't Belong To You Most Likely In Broad Daylight.  You already hit a friend of ours house here in Suburbia, did you have to hit our house too?  It's costing them $5000 to undo what you did.  $5000.  Five . . . thousand.  How am I supposed to come up with that AND have a decent Christmas?  Suburbia police were optimistic that they will catch you.  Unfortunately our house is in Next Town Over where the men in blue barely seemed to care.  Makes me glad I don't actually live in Next Town Over.  Oh, and if you plan on coming back, don't bother.  I'm not fixing it with copper just so you can come back and leave me high and dry again.  I hope you rot in hell!