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Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Death By Anticipation

Today was the match meeting for one of our potential daughters.  A match meeting is where you've gotten past round one - the social worker - and are entered into round two.  It is where a board of people looking out for the best interest of the child get together and discuss any families the social worker may bring to the table.  We are represented at this meeting by our social worker.  She is there to speak on our behalf.  Today was a match meeting.  It was at 10:30 am.  I got home at 2:00 pm to nothing.  Not an email message.  Not a phone message.  I've checked my home phone, my cell phone, even Hubby's cell phone.  Nothing.  I checked my email.  Nothing.  How does this happen?  This is our future we are talking about here.  This girl may be our potential daughter or may have been ruled out.  One or the other.  But I have no idea!  I mean this is big time important and she just doesn't let us know.  My big fear is that she forgot to even go.  That would just be the icing on the cake for this whole process.  I've sent an email to her but have gotten no response yet.  Even as I write this I keep switching over to my email to check and see if she has responded.  I'm a bit anxious.  I don't really know which way I want this to turn out but I do know one thing - I just want to get it over with and get an answer.  I spent the day nesting away at work.  Cleaning out drawers.  Cleaning of my desk.  Cleaning out my wallet.  Anything I could purge, I did.  Just to keep my mind off of things.  I thought for sure when I got home from work there would be a message of some kind.  Every time I check my email I hold my breath just to have the incoming message be some promotional ad from some business.  What am I supposed to do now?  This is killing me!!!

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