Moving On, Hanging Out and Trying to Look Up

So over the last few days I've been trying to rebound from the catastrophe that was the match meeting.  I'm still not exactly sure what happened there, but they never called to schedule an interview.  I guess we are out of the running which is fine by us.  They really don't seem to want this little girl to get adopted for some reason.  I don't know why.  In the meantime, I have seen about five hundred commercials about adoption stating "you don't have to be a perfect parent" and that "kids in foster care need you".  Um . . . ok.  Then why do they make this process so hard?  But I need to put this behind me and focus on more positive things.  The problem being I can't really come up with many positive things that are happening right now.  I tried to come up with a cheerier topic for today, but just couldn't.  There is the possibility that we may rent our house soon but that has fallen through so many times in the past that I have learned not to get my hopes up.  Our daughter has her first winterguard competition coming up next weekend, but they are nowhere near finished with their routine.  So I may be paying $200 to watch her stand there for large portions of the show.  Today will be spent here in the house trying to find creative outlets to keep my attitude on the up.  I am trying to be optimistic about things but I'm just not sure how right now.  I'm trying not to let the depression creep in but it is so easy to let it consume you.  For those of you who have never experienced depression or had someone in your life with diagnosed depression, it can be very hard to understand.  Its not an easy subject to tackle but I will attempt to get my thoughts together on the topic and have an informative blog about it tomorrow.  I look forward to depressing you in the future.  Well, that came out wrong.  Hell, you know what I mean.