Not as Seen on TV

I have OCD.  For those of you who think you know about the disorder, this may come as a shock.  We are not all germaphobes who vaccuum our houses 24/7.  My house is a mess and I'm fine with that.  I even have pictures hanging up that aren't totally straight.  Yes, I prefer to have things piled from largest to smallest but the thing is not all people with OCD have the type of disease depicted on television.  It is a very frustrating disease.  The one thing they never show you is just how exhausting the disorder can be.  Your mind is always going - constantly thinking.  Its like having a song that is stuck in your head all day.  You know how annoying that can be.  Now imagine repeating things in your life like that constantly - both mentally and physically.  Imagine never being sure of yourself.  Always doubting if you did something or said something.  Using key words or actions to help you remember that you did something and those key words or actions becoming rituals that you must do in order to prevent something bad from happening.  You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach the moment you realize you've locked your keys inside your car?  Now multiply that feeling by ten at least and insert it into your day about 150 times.  That's what its like to have OCD.  You have to have others make decisions for you because you're too afraid the one you make will be wrong.  You have to do things twenty times just to be sure you did them (and most likely because twenty is a nice even number).  Through the marvels of modern medicine I am able to function at a fairly normal level.  I get to work on time now because I don't have to drive home to make sure I locked the door.  I can go to bed without getting up five times to check that the stove is off.  I can even throw away a box or two here or there.  There are even some advantages to having the disorder.  We're great with names and faces.  We are usually quite organized (even if its just that we know where everything is with in our mess).  We are usually good at doing math in our heads because we are always adding random numbers we see in various places.  We have great attention to detail.  Just don't be fooled by what you see portrayed on television.  There is much more to someone who has OCD than just what you see on "Monk".

For an accurate and humorous description of one woman's struggle with OCD, please read "Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood" by Jennifer Traig.