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Monday, October 4, 2010

Do Merry Maids Handle Gray Matter?

I'm nervous.  I found out today that we will be having our home inspected in 10 days for our adoption.  My house is by no means ready.  I have always been a bit of a clutter bug.  Ok . . . so my house could be nominated for one of those hoarding shows but it would NOT make the cut to be on the air or anything.  Its not dirty.  Just cluttered.  The problem here is not only do I have to clean up the stuff but I also have to move an old dresser and a full size bed to the basement - where there is no space - and I have to move two twin beds and a new dresser into my daughter's room  - where there is no space.  A quick tidy would be easy but no shoving stuff in closets this time.  They will be looking in every single corner and under every single bed.  I know that this is for the safety of the child but it is not for the sanity of the adopting parents.  We have nothing to hide but having someone evaluate every inch of your personal space feels . . . well . . . invasive.  This whole process is needed I'm not arguing that but we have been poked and prodded and questioned and judged and numerous other processes that would be deemed offensive by most people.  But we have weathered the intrusions because we want this to happen.  We have persisted but I can understand why some people do not.  We hear about the need for foster and adoptive parents but they never mention that you will be made to feel like you are a questionable person and need to prove otherwise.  They also never mention that you alone will have to be your own motivator.  All of this without a name or a face as a goal in the end.  We aren't allowed to inquire about any children till we've proven ourselves worthy.  Its hard for me to ask my daughter to give up half of her personal space without any specific child in mind.  I know that I started this post talking about cleaning out my physical closets but maybe I have a few closets in my mind that need cleaning out as well.  This process really makes you take a good hard look at yourself.  It makes you rethink who you are and what you believe.  I need to get past the bitterness over the process and just complete it.  We're almost there.  We can see the nameless, faceless light at the end of the tunnel.  I just have to tidy my house and apparently my mind before I can get there completely.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, it is quite invasive. In 2002, we partly went thru all of that when we tried to adopt a family member from Michael's side. They were a little less stringent, being that we were family, but it was still tough.

    Although, I still sit back at times and wonder ... why do only foster/adoptive parents get put thru this serious of requirements? Sometimes, I think ANYONE who wants to have children should be scrutinized!

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