WWGT - What Would Grandma Think?

My extended family is into gifts BIG TIME.  It's how we were raised.  Everyone has a birthday party where everyone else brings gifts that I feel are a little over the top.  Every year on certain relatives' children's birthdays, I buy, wrap, pack and ship gifts to them.  And when it is my daughter's birthday, she gets squat from these particular relatives.  Not even a card.  Nada.  Zippo.  Zilch.  I know they don't simply forget because other family members mention her birthday to them, and yet nothing.  The same seems to be starting to happen with Christmas.  Maybe it's because we live at a distance.  I can guarantee you that if she had a birthday party or was physically there at Christmas, she would be getting something because my grandmother would be there to see it.  What grandma doesn't see won't hurt her I guess.  And the worst part is when they see my daughter, they say "Oh, we need to send you a Christmas gift" (this was in June) "We'll double up on your birthday".  Yet her birthday rolled around and not a peep.  My daughter has been trying to understand this for all of her 16 young years.  Oh, and when we send our gifts, we don't even get so much as a little thank you note in the mail.  No thank you phone call either.  We have had similar situations with other people and eventually just gave up.  I am giving in and changing my rules starting in the new year.  No more birthday gifts for them.  I'll most likely still do Christmas next year but then my trial period is over and if they don't want to do it - fine.  I feel like Scrooge but its hard to go through all of that trouble when there isn't any reciprocation.  I know that its the thought that counts but when the thought is obviously not there, what's a mom to do.  So, as the holiday season approaches and you make your list and check it twice, be sure you're not forgetting anyone.  And at the bottom of that list add "Christmas Thank You Cards".  You'll be surprised just how much joy they can bring.